Confession: I’m a grocery budget failure.
I mean – we’re definitely not eating steak and lobster every night (gah, I wish!), and we’re being as frugal as we feel we can be. We’re pinching pennies and I’m agonizing over what I put into my grocery cart.
But when I tally it up at the end of the month, I find that we’re spending several hundred dollars more per month on groceries than intended.
What the heck?!
When I got serious about budgeting back in the new year so that we might make huge strides toward paying off our debt in 2016 (here’s hoping!), it was disheartening to see how badly we were doing. Over the last few months as I’ve paid careful attention to our spending, our habits, and our meals, I’ve discovered a few key reasons why we’ve been failing at sticking to our budget.
Like I said above, it wasn’t a quick case of “stop indulging in expensive food” and all will be well.
I know all of the frugal food tricks out there. I know how to cook dry beans, and make a bajillion things (like ketchup!) from scratch. I know how to buy in bulk, price compare, shop sales, and use coupons. I know how to eat seasonally, and how to make bone broth from scratch and can whip up a pot of frugal and yummy soup in fifteen minutes flat.
Way too many “how to save money on groceries” articles I come across are filled with that sort of advice, which I’ve already been doing for years.
So what else is at play, here? I’ve identified three factors that are tripping me up, and my guess is that many of you experience them too.
1. The stress of being on a tight income
My family is currently emerging from a 5-year period of significant, continual hardships – unemployment, moving, a harassing landlord, low income, debt, marriage hardships, health challenges, and three young kids to raise.
We are stepping into a new phase now, with gratitude. We’re still in debt, but we have job and location stability and security in ways that have been lacking since early 2000, as well as a much more hopeful financial future. (Still have the kids, but we decided they’re too cute not to keep. 😉 )
Believe me when I say that sticking to a budget is as much a mental battle as it is a logistical one. I know this first-hand.
Logic dictates that if ever there was a time to stick to a budget, it would be when you’re tight on funds. Makes sense, I guess. But contrary to what the cold, hard logic may say, the last five years were the absolute hardest for us when it came to budgeting.
For a few years, no matter how we rearranged and tightened the budget, it was always in the red. It was inevitably an exercise in defeat and frustration, so oftentimes we’d just throw up our hands in surrender and turn a blind eye to any sort of budget altogether, hoping that there’d somehow be enough money each month.
Understandable? Yes. Helpful? No, because now we’re struggling to form the habit from scratch instead of having it be second nature.
These years have also culminated in a significant case of adrenal fatigue for me, which has drastically limited my energy and stamina when it comes to spending hours in the kitchen, cooking and baking things from scratch that could save us a lot of money.
I’m now working on my adrenal fatigue recovery, and am committed to working on self-care in a serious way in 2016.
If you’re struggling to stick to a grocery budget because of stressful life circumstances and health-related reasons, give yourself some grace, and remember to address health issues like undue fatigue, and please do prioritize wellness and self-care, especially during crazy life seasons. (And don’t feel guilty – it’s for everyone’s good, ultimately.)
2. Unrealistic budgeting
Take a look at your dietary needs (we are a gluten-free household, and I am newly dairy-free as well), your kids’ appetites (no word of a lie: my 7-year-old boy eats as much as my husband), and food prices in your area (we’re in Canada, and groceries are pretty expensive here).
Then take another slower look. Let the realities of your situation sink in.
Then tell yourself to forget about everyone else on the internet who lives on a ridiculously low-sounding grocery budget because they have a completely different scenario than you do. Comparison is no bueno, right? (Maybe they live in an area where groceries are cheaper, have less kids, and don’t have to buy specialty ingredients for food restrictions.)
Also, if you have optimist leanings as I do, don’t sabotage yourself here. When you set your grocery budget, it should be based first on what you actually spend, not what you wish you could stick to.
This is tough, because we optimists can so easily think, “I’ll just set it lower and try harder to keep it on a tight leash. It’ll be fine.”
But that’s not ultimately very helpful when there are still 9 days before the end of the month and you’re out of fruit. (My kids eat fruit on a daily basis as a snack/treat since we don’t really buy any processed snack foods.)
What happens in these scenarios is that you end up overspending – running to the store to grab some apples, and coming home with $50 worth of groceries, and feeling badly about it. And feeling rotten isn’t a very empowering feeling.
Instead: change your grocery budget to reflect your *average* spending for the last three months of groceries, even if you think you “should” be doing it for less.
Then, if you come in under budget next time it feels great, and you have extra money to allocate elsewhere in the budget.
3. Lack of planning
This one is a HUGE factor for our grocery overspending, and it actually plays into the above two points. For years I’ve been so immersed in burnout and survival mode that I haven’t found space to do things like sit down once a week for a menu planning. I thought I didn’t have time, and was always running ragged just trying to keep keep up with meeting basic needs.
What I didn’t realize until recently, however, is that forcing yourself to make time for these sorts of things will actually alleviate your stress in the long-run, even if it feels stressful to do it at first.
Even if your brain feels so scattered and overrun that you can’t fathom adding one.more.thing to your to-do list. (Actually, especially then.)
The biggest thing I’ve noticed over the last few months of analyzing our habits is that planning ahead is probably the one thing that will have the greatest, most immediate impact on our spending. I’m so bad at planning (thank-you INFP personality type) but it’s an area that I very much want to intentionally strengthen in my life for many reasons, including this one.
When we don’t plan, we end up running to the store multiple times a week for quick meals, like a rotisserie chicken, or a pound of ground beef because I didn’t think ahead to soak any beans, or something easy for lunchboxes because we-don’t-have leftovers-to-send-because-we-had-pancakes-last-night. Why did we have pancakes? Because I hadn’t planned, of course.
On those visits, we end up coming home with additional items we didn’t really need, or could have waited for until the next budget month. Snacks, cravings, and so on. Those quick trips end up costing a lot.
Plan to Eat, the online menu planning tool, has been a long-time sponsor here at Red & Honey, and I’m so grateful for them. They make my weak menu planning attempts as effective as possible, and they inspire me to get better at it!
Two things I’m working on now:
1) Having a master list of family favourites that I can upload to PTE (so that they’re all saved in the same place) and just plan my menu with them on a rotational basis. Making this a less brain-intensive activity will help, I think.
2) Committing to sitting down on Friday night to plan the next week’s meals. I picked Friday because we often do groceries on the weekend, and I need to know what to buy for my menu plan so I can avoid the spontaneous (costly) trips to the store.
***
All these years that I’ve been faithfully making frugal choices in our food, these three factors have been throwing a monkey wrench in my efforts. Now that I’ve called them out and taken some action steps to manage them, I’m looking forward to getting my grocery budget under control.
It turns out that managing a grocery budget isn’t always a simple science. It’s an art, too.
Summer
Thank you for a fresh, honest perspective on grocery budgeting. These are 3 very important points to consider.
Beth
And thanks for reading! 🙂
Tracee sapp
These are great! I would also add to leave some room in your budget for those items that you regularly use so when they go on sale and/or there’s a coupon you can stock up on them. Having s supply on hand also helps with that “quick trip” to the store for toilet paper that ends up with you spending more than you planned!
erickajen
yes!! i liked this list a lot! and yes! i get so discouraged reading how they are “saving soooo much money on groceries, and ill teach you how” especially when its followed by “just buy my latest ebook…”
i live in northern MN so im going to guess that our prices are probably similar to yours, and the availability of produce is probably just as insane. yes, buy “in season” produce. right. because from october to may there is snow growing produce available. riiiiiight…
SO discouraging. thank you for this post – far more encouraging!
Kelly S
Great points. For us, it’s a combo of #1 and #2.
#1 – stress and change – We have handled a huge amount of change in our lives in the past few years – three pregnancies in less than four years, then the accompanying newborn baby stages (with twins forthcoming – I can’t quite imagine what it will be like!) Several moves, job changes, uncertainty about the future…. sometimes I forget that not everyone lives this life! 🙂 With all that change, it is hard to get into a good routine, we don’t have a chest freezer or large pantry because we move so frequently and live in small apartments, we have babies with constantly changing diets, me with morning sickness and varying diet needs… plus the nights when my husband and I want to veg out with snack food after the kids go to bed to cope with some of the craziness. 😉
#2 – unrealistic budgeting. I think the number in my head is simply too low for what’s realistic. I try to stay at $400 (US) a month, not including a separate (small) eating out budget. The reality is that we never hit that mount. It’s more like $600 a month, which I think is still “relatively” low, all things considered, but still higher than my dream. But, I *do* a pretty good job with planning, I buy cheap but healthy foods… and we’re just always spending more like $130 at my weekly shopping trip, plus a few incidentals like a trip to the farmer’s market periodically, or a stop to pick up a few basics midweek. Like you said – someone else’s numbers might be totally higher or lower! For me I’m trying to figure out a number that works for us… and for our paycheck! 🙂
Heather
Our menu is based on the sale ad and bulk food. Thank you for opening your experiences to all. Living is a blessing, but sometimes the blessings seem scarce. Your faith in continuing to move forward and take care of yourself are inspirational. Be strong of mind and the body will foiiow.
Christina
I have to say that I have never really made a budget. I just do all of the things that save money–cooking from scratch, buying little processed food. I refuse to eat crap just because it’s cheap. I will buy hamburger instead of steak, but I am only buying grasped sustainable grown meat. That’s not a compromise I’m going to make!
I have recently delved into eating dumpstered food, though only what’s been gifted–haven’t made the leap yet myself (pun intended).
Crystal
Thanks for the great tips! I’m always over my grocery budget.
MamaV
Also we have created some space in our food budget by cutting out other stuff; having one car, driving as little as possible, not having data plans for our cell phones, etc. I’d rather forgo data than good food!
Beth Ricci
Excellent point, also! There are definitely different priorities for everyone. Good food is high on my list too, but it may be lower for others, hence the lower budget.
MamaV
I used PTE for a while, but actually stopped because we discovered a local salvage food store that is super cheap but totally unpredictable. Now our eating tends to be driven by whatever was super cheap at the salvage store plus whatever staples we pick up elsewhere. It’s not quite as healthy as we have eaten in the past but we have managed to stay within everyone’s food intolerance parameters so that’s a start. We are relaxing our food budget as I come up to delivering a baby, buying more expensive snacky things than we usually would, also realizing that I am eating more and more and will probably continue to do so when I am exclusively nursing.
Beth Ricci
That salvage store sounds fascinating! (And relaxing the food budget for a new baby coming is an excellent idea. Self-care is so important! xo)
Kathryn H.
You’re so right about not letting optimism sabotage you. It’s much better for morale to come in under your average realistic cost than to be shoehorning yourself into the impossible. And morale is really important when you’re sticking to a budget for the long haul!
Beth Ricci
Yes! You summed it up SO well! 🙂
Elisabeth Weaver
You know, I expected another “Coupon more! You aren’t disciplined enough! Why aren’t you making cheese crackers from scratch yet?” blog – I’ve seen so freaking many.
This was so full of grace that it was a big encouragement to me. Thank you.
Also, spot on.
Beth Ricci
Ha! I’ve seen plenty of those articles myself, and haven’t found them entirely helpful. 😉
Glad you enjoyed this one. xo
Joy
Beth, this is all kinds of awesome – VERY insightful and helpful! (And SO glad to hear that life is easing up a bit for you all 🙂 )
Beth Ricci
YOU’RE all kinds of awesome. Love you, Joy! xo