Post by contributor, Marissa Froese
We all have dreams, big ones and small ones. One of my big dreams has been to have a little farm with a milk cow, chickens, horses, and pigs. Oh, and a beautiful flower and vegetable garden.
I long ago discovered that the realization of dreams usually entail a lot of work. My dream is no exception, and sometimes I look back with fondness at the time when my dreams were free and only required my imagination, Pinterest, or a google search. Especially as I slog through thick muck on a dark, rainy night to bring the milk cow from the forest to the pasture.
I recently read a post from Gnowfglins where the writer, Jenny Cazzola, shares four things that she wishes she had known when she started rural homesteading.
Our desire to homestead stemmed largely from our love of real food and simple living. I can recall the day the idea first took hold in my mind. I was in bed with a cold, propped up on pillows reading about Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall in Bon Appetit magazine. I remember thinking “What an amazing concept. I want to do this.” (read the rest of the article here)
I think that many of us who have ventured into this new territory of old living have quite similar stories to tell. Dan and I have the benefit of having grown up in farming/ranching communities and our families were actively part of that lifestyle. Even with that, there is so much we don’t know in this venture, so many mistakes to make. There are a lot of things that I wish I had known.
As a contributing writer at Red&Honey, I very much share in the Real Food philosophy. Currently our freezer is almost entirely filled with our own beef, chicken from a trade with friends, and produce from our garden or from local growers (some of which we picked ourselves). We are proud of the quality of food and we are so very, very thankful.
I want our family to be nourished by real, healthy food from healthy, humane sources. Farming/ranching/gardening isn’t for everyone, either by choice or option, but for me, I want to eat right from our own yard and I want our children to know where their food comes from, as the work of their own hands. However, we are also personally aware of the cost.
Choosing to raise our own food comes with many benefits that are worth it but it also requires giving up some things, making hard choices, and frankly, a lot of hard work. It’s easy to share pictures that are tinted with the haze of the morning sun or the lifting mist. Children with happy smiles, dirty feet, and faces from digging carrots out of the garden are good salespeople without saying a word. It’s not quite so easy to romanticize a sick cow, rows of seeds rotting in the ground for the second or third time due to spring rains, or an entire flock of chickens wiped out by a hungry fox.
When my free-roaming pastured chickens destroy all of my squash and pumpkins along with my carefully tended herbs, I might make a joke and see the bright side but it’s also wearying. It’s really hard to say that you messed up, that you don’t know what you are doing, or that you have a lot to learn. Sometimes you have to realize that something just isn’t a good fit for you and take the humbling step to let it go.
Also, my money tree never produces so we keep needing to find the pennies elsewhere to build barns, fences, and a new chicken tractor that will keep those marauding chickens out of the gardens while still allowing them to be pastured. And my, do those pennies add up. Sometimes they just can’t be found and so the barn doesn’t get built and the fence has to wait. It’s hard to take the dream and cut it into bite-sized pieces that get chewed slowly, one bite by ever-slowly-moving bite.
Still, even amidst the dollar stretching, the replanting, and frustrating waiting, it’s all been worth it. Yes, even my destructive chickens are worth it.
I have my times of bone aching weariness and heart tired longings for something a little easier. I honestly have no idea if we’ll be doing this twenty years from now, though I think we will. I do know that when I trudge through the muck to move the cows, somehow I feel alive. Like this is the life that I’ve been given to live and it’s good.
It’s become about so much more than raising food; it’s become about nourishing my soul.
Anna
Life is actually all about dreams. I really appreciate sharing this authentic post with us, I just thoroughly enjoyed your helping and supportive article. Thanks for sharing.
Meagan B. {The Charming Farmer}
You hit the farming nail on the head! Growing up in inner city Baltimore and then moving to the country and then buying my own farm have really changed my perspective on farming. When people ask why I don’t ride my horses that much, I tell them that there are a lot of chores that need done and projects to be finished before I can ride. I’m content to know that I have bought this farm to raise my horses and my family and what many outsiders see as a chance to do whatever I want without time limits or chore constraints is met with a big eye roll from me! But do I love this life? Hell yes. And chickens, those darn chickens. I just caught one in our veggie garden and she had plucked one of my baby sugar baby watermelons from the vine – I may have screamed a little.
Shannon
Hi Beth,
Just found your site (via pinterest). It’s lovely! So glad I stumbled upon it 🙂
Farming is not simple, but is very good for the soul.
I have lasted 20 years…I’m sure you will too.
xoxo
Marissa
Hi Shannon,
Beth does have a beautiful site and I (Marissa) am a contributing blogger to her site and the farmer:). Well trying to be at least!
Thank you for the encouragement, it’s so helpful to hear from people who have been at it for longer and have stuck with it! Your farm looks beautiful, I’m originally a BC girl as well and have been through your area many times while I was growing up. Everywhere on the Island is gorgeous!
LauraBeth
Thank you so much for this. I think we’ve all experienced the truth that you speak of here – so much of life is harder or messier than a picture or a glimpse through a blog post or article can make it look. It’s rare to hear someone own up to the fact that it’s not all “sunshine and roses” so thank you for that!
Marissa Froese
Oh, yes life is always a little harder or messier than it looks. Little farm or big city, really! Little farm just tracks the mess in with the muck boots:). Thanks for reading and commenting!
Erin @ Blue Yurt Farms
LOVE this post. It is exhausting, and humbling, and EXPENSIVE. But learning to wait has definitely allowed time to realize which dreams are just dreams, and which ones are worth the hard work for us. Sometimes my husband and I daydream of an easier reality back in the city, but then we go on a long walk with our many animals…and plan for FUTURE animals and experiences and we realize we’re more alive than we ever were with our “easy” life.
But, muck and cold is hard to silver lining away…it’s just crappy.
PS. I heard this tip back when we started, and didn’t want to wait…but it’s so very true. Build your infrastructure BEFORE you get the animals. Whew. We’re *finally* starting to do that, and it’s so much better.
Marissa Froese
YES! “learning to wait has definitely allowed time to realize which dreams are just dreams, and which ones are worth the hard work for us.” That is it exactly!
And definitely build infrastructure before getting the animals! The only trouble is that when you hear of the exact animal that you want, like our highland jersey cow (http://becomingkindred.com/blog/2013/4/30/lomgki19gl78yitbre88ozzgmr4ty9), and you may not have the opportunity for a really, really long time, it’s hard to give that up. I’m so thankful for her but I definitely recommend having the building and fences ready before taking on the livestock!
Kathleen | Becoming Peculiar
Ohhhhhhhhhhh THIS. Yes and yes and yes.
We actually don’t even have our dream homestead yet, but I work with my mom on hers. And it’s astonishing how much work it is. And how much disappointment is involved. When those potatoes you tended so carefully rot in the ground and your lettuce washes away in a flood. Ugh. You discover how very little control you have over the world. The rain comes and the bugs eat your raspberries and there’s not much you can do about it.
I have so much fun picking vegetables and gathering eggs; but then I lug it all inside and my counters are covered in dirty produce that needs to be washed, sorted, packaged, and refrigerated and I have lunch to make and a baby who needs to be nursed and put to sleep. It’s so tiring sometimes. Worth it, but tiring.
It’s so comforting to hear from others who share the same vision and the same burdens.
Marissa Froese
Yes, it is all work, lots of it! But so good….most of time:).
Thanks for commenting! It’s nice having others to share the journey.
Missy Kroninger
My husband and I started a farm recently and lately I’ve been ready to sell it all and give up. You really nailed it when you said “I might make a joke and see the bright side but it’s also wearying”. Wearying is right. I hate to complain but man alive farming is hard sometimes. I have carpal tunnel from fencing (which was way harder than I ever thought it would be and we have 2 more pastures and an orchard to fence) and a torn rotator cuff from when the goat kids got into the chicken coop in July. It’s so hard to work through the pain sometimes and I have a farm store too and when I don’t get customers or people complain about our prices or selection it just wears me down. And we haven’t had kids yet (we’re in our mid-30s and have no idea how that will ever work now.
And same here with the money – there’s always something I didn’t anticipate that needs built or fixed or moved or whatever. But then there are those moments when my chickens come running up to me in the pasture or I see what I imagine are one of my bees on a flower by the house or one of my miniature donkeys nuzzles up beside me and I remember that this really was a dream I had for a long time and then I have a little bit of hope that the big projects will eventually be completed and we can go into maintenance mode and I can actually take a day off (which I haven’t done literally all year).
So thank you for posting this. It makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way. I know I’m not but it’s nice to hear it from someone else. Good luck with your homestead. A tip for your garden – we put deer fencing up around ours to keep the deer out but it also keeps out our free range chickens and other non-burrowing animals. It’s relatively cheap and easy to put up. We plan to add guineas to the garden next year to eat the squash bugs and it’ll keep them in the garden as well (it’s a big garden so they’ll have plenty of space and a little house too).
Marissa Froese
Thank you and good wishes for you too! The moments of success and beauty are so very satisifying but I hear you on wanting to throw in the towel at times.
Thanks for the tip on fencing, we actually were able to get some garden fenced and that worked well but unfortunately our garden spaces are spread all over because of soil, light and location logistics. Which is why we will now be containing our chickens using a moving chicken tractor…insert victorious laughter here…
I’d love to have some guinea hens too! So many ticks here and I think they would do the trick!
maria
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s been the dream of my husband and I since we were teenagers to have a small hobby farm (we’re 29 & 30 now) and we are saving up towards that goal. This post a reminder that there will be so much to give up when in the thick of that dream. Thank you for sharing this.
Marissa Froese
I wish you all the best in your saving and seeing the fruition of your own little farm! Thank you for commenting!
Sandra
Very true!
I know I went into homesteading with a romantic view, that can change very quickly!
Is it worth it? I think yes!,
Marissa Froese
I don’t think it is possible to go into without a little romantic tinge…otherwise we might not brave it! But so worth it.
Alyssa
Loved this post 🙂 This is a great reminder to cherish dreams, even if they are far from being realized because the dreaming stage is probably the easiest!
Marissa Froese
Yes, cherish the dreams and stick with them!! Just be prepared for when the dreams play out a little different in their reality;). Thanks for commenting!
Tracy
Thank you so much for your honesty. I started a small garden patch a few years ago. How hard can it be to turn dirt and plant seed.(hahahhaha) Every year I tell my husband about all the money my little patch will save us. It hasn’t saved us any money yet. So last year I stopped counting the pennies and started counting the joy. I end most summers convinced I will never garden again. Each winter I dream of starting again. Every year is better than the last. Its a process but I am grateful to be apart of it and sharing it with my kids. Oh and making my husband laugh at my determination.
Marissa Froese
Exactly! How hard can it be???:) I’ve had the money saving conversation more times than I can count. We’ve started from total scratch with our gardens here and each year does get better (I just dug up the last of the carrots and beets today) but its a hard learn at times too. All the best to you and thanks for commenting!
Shari DeVoogd
Thanks for your authentic post. We are about to enter this venture within the next year. I have said to myself that we need to start slowly and master a subject or two at a time. After reading this, I think our plan is good. LOL Hard work IS good for the body and soul. 🙂
Marissa
You are welcome:). One subject or two at a time is a very good idea…however it’s gets a little addicting and the reasoning for adding one more things always makes sense in the moment;). But hard work is good, just need some play along with it!