It took me nearly twelve years to realize that “dating” your spouse shouldn’t end when you get married. It also took me that long to figure out the secret to having date nights that go beyond flopping on the couch with netflix and a snack.
As time marches on and we turn more and more into an Old Married Couple (twelve years this spring! whoa.) we find ourselves in desperate need of some careful intentionality with our relationship. I wrote almost two years ago about our nearly-broken marriage, and how it was finally finding glimmers of light again.
I’ve known in the last couple of years that “working on our relationship” has been so vital. But what does that mean, exactly? How does that fit into the ordinary bits of time spent on laundry and the morning rush and the business hustle and grocery shopping and kid-raising?
When the week draws to a close and we flop exhausted on the couch and lack the brain power to even think about a fancy-pants date night, let alone plan and execute one, we need a game plan.
What is the secret to an amazing at-home date night that is simple, intimate, and even frugal? The answer is: home massage and the power of your five senses. Let me break it down for you.
Learning the Art of Massage + Paying Attention to Our Five Senses
We recently had the opportunity to begin working through the Melt: Massage for Couples video courses with Registered Massage Therapist, Denis Merkas, and his wife, Emma. They’ve spent years crafting and perfecting their massage routines. Their mission is to help couples strengthen their relationships through the simple but powerful act of massaging one another.
Before we had kids, we used to go to a fancy spa once a month for professional massages that were totally covered by his work health coverage. We would try massaging each other at home, but it was always kind of a bust. Sore hands, a sore back from leaning over, and a complete lack of knowing what the heck we were doing were all factors that made our massages fizzle out before they even got going.
But this is different.
The first night we tried the Melt videos is going to go down as a defining moment in our relationship. I know, I know – I have a flair for the dramatic… but I’m absolutely serious, y’all. It is a piece of the relationship that had been missing for so long that we didn’t even know it.
I’m such a huge fan of being mindful of your five senses and how they impact your day-to-day moments. Sight, smell, sound, taste, and touch all have incredible potential to impact your mood and emotions, and when treated with mindfulness they can become the source of deep connection.
That’s exactly what the Melt videos offer through the incredible power of touch. They teach you simple but powerful technique and tips for the best home massage (their advice on where to do the massage was an immediate game-changer). They also encourage you to set your own pace – just a quick massage to relieve the day’s tension, or letting go and embracing the intimacy of the moment. You decide.
Why We Adore the Melt: Massage for Couples videos
The Melt videos go beyond just the massage routine itself and teaches you the best place to sit (not where we thought!), the best positioning to avoid sore backs, and the best simple techniques that, well, make your partner melt.
Touch (obviously) is central, but the videos encourage you to also take care with your atmosphere, in addition to learning the massage routines. Perhaps light a candle, play some music. This scenario is an absolute dream for a highly sensitive person like myself. Relaxing, intimate, warm, and chock full of happy hormones.
I honestly cannot rave about this video series enough. I review a fair number of products on this blog that relate to healthy, natural living, and I can say with certainty that this is going to be one that we remember for years to come (especially because we get lifetime access to the videos).
I know that it will have long-lasting, positive health effects since our emotional and physical well-being are so intricately connected.