This all natural DIY massage oil is made with essential oils and skin-nourishing natural oil for a sensual and enjoyable time with your partner without the toxic ingredients often found in store-bought products.
“I’ll be a park, and thou shalt be my deer; Feed where thou wilt, on mountains or in dale; Graze upon my lips, and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.” William Shakespeare (1593)
My oh my, Mr. Shakespeare – you sure set the bar high in the sensuality department.
At the risk of becoming the blog that won’t stop talking about embarrassing subjects, we’re talking about connecting with your spouse with this amazing DIY massage oil.
We’ve talked about how I’m not using shampoo for a month, and about how I tried reusable TP. In the past I have discussed the how and why of consuming your placenta after giving birth, how much I love cloth pads for my menstrual cycle, and other favorites like not showering every day.
Since I guess I’ve already kind of established myself as a lover of taboo and slightly weird topics… let’s dive right in, shall we?
For whatever reason, Christians don’t talk about sex, and if they do it’s almost always in a shaming and fear-mongering way.
I’ve never heard a sermon preached on “How to Spice Up your Sex Life Without Porn or Perversions” or “How to Rekindle Sexual Passion After You’ve been Married for a Decade, had 3 Babies, and Forgot what Sex was Because you were so Damn Sleep-Deprived”. (I betcha a hundred bucks those titles would pack out the pews on a Sunday morning.)
Unfortunately, since Christians don’t usually talk about it, we learn all we know from Cosmopolitan Magazine and Hollywood, which loves to portray the hot and heavy quickies with much ado, usually fueled by uninhibited lustful desires.
In a world of cheap, de-valued, and plentiful sexual encounters, the fact that sex is inherently an act of intimacy is often forgotten.
Despite embracing a pretty nonchalant mentality regarding sex, one thing our culture does get right is the encouragement of sensuality between two committed adults. (I’d place a few more parameters there, personally, but that’s another post for another day.)
Of course, sensuality is a bit more than just sexuality. It’s full of layers and nuances and emotional connection.
After being married for a decade, we’ve realized the importance of connecting in a slow and sensual way from the beginning. It can be difficult to carve out time when you’re busy and exhausted from kids and life and all that goes alongside, but it’s absolutely vital.
I love this quote from Voltaire in the 18th century:
“It is not enough to conquer, one must know how to seduce.” Voltaire (1743)
I bet Voltaire would have been all over this DIY massage oil. 😉 Taking time to really see each other’s bodies and slowly employing the power of touch is immeasurably powerful.
The art of truly seeing and feeling can be a discipline of sorts. It takes intention and careful effort. It does not always come naturally… but the rewards are immeasurable.
Today, I’m sharing instructions for making a DIY massage oil.
DIY Massage Oil Recipe
6 drops Ylang Ylang essential oil
4 drops Orange Sweet essential oil
2 drops Sandalwood essential oil
A carrier oil, like almond oil or fractionated coconut oil
In addition, although it’s not absolutely necessary, these types of small, 2 oz glass bottles are really nice for storing the massage oil.
Add essential oil drops to the bottle, then fill the remainder with a carrier oil like almond oil or fractionated coconut oil. With citrus oils, it is best to use a glass or stainless steel container, like the one I linked above. grapefruit or bergamot (both citrus oils) could be substituted for wild orange or even a pre-made citrus blend.
- Ylang Ylang is distilled from a beautiful starfish-shaped flower native to tropical Asia. It is an aphrodisiac and helpful for reducing anxiety.
- Wild Orange oil is expressed from the peel of the fruit. It is an energizing and uplifting oil while also being a sedative by giving feelings of peace.
- Sandalwood has many wonderful uses (such as treatment for bronchitis and coughs and dry skin) but is often used as anti-depressant and is very soothing.
Word of caution: when using photosensitizing oils (i.e. citrus oils like wild orange), wait at least six hours before exposing the skin to UV rays.
Also, a note about what I didn’t include: as much as I want to include Rose or Jasmine oil in the blend, those are expensive and sometimes hard to find oils, so I stuck with the ones listed. You’re always welcome to adapt the recipe to your own preferences.
So, that’s it – pretty simple, right? As we’ve discussed many times before, body care products on the shelves these days can be pretty sketchy in terms of ingredient safety and toxicity… so I’d rather just avoid them as much as possible. This DIY massage oil is an easy and effective method to spice up the sensuality in your bedroom.
50 Uses for Essentials (and the first three things I tried)
How to Make Your Own Beeswax Tea Light Candles
5 Old-School Ways to Romance Your Spouse
This sounds like a nice combination.
The orange family essential oils (including tangerine and mandarin) are sun safe, not like lemon, grapefruit, and lime. Bergamot listed as FCF-free or bergapten-free is sun safe, inquire where you get your oils. Even the other oils can be used safely with the proper dilution. You can find a safe dilution chart on Plant Therapy’s blog. HTH
I don’t have Sandalwood, would Cedarwood do?
Thanks for the post! Very useful information! We already tried Ylang Ylang at our massage parlor, will also try your recipe!
What is the shelf life for this oil? And should it be refrigerated?
Hmmm, I’m not too sure on the shelf life. I would think you should use it up within a few months. Make a smaller quantity if necessary. And I don’t refrigerate it. Just keep it in a cool, dark place like a closet or drawer. 🙂
Hey Beth – just thought I’d point you to a couple of sex-focused Christian marriage blogs (like, that actually contain how-tos and articles similar to your sermon titles!) As Christians we definitely need to do a better job encouraging each other and talking more about sex. So a couple blogs are The Generous Wife, and Hot, Holy and Humorous. I can’t give you the addresses but Google will find them for you. The Marriage Bed is a site that also has list of good blogs. So… happy reading!!
Hey, Mary! Thanks for the recommendations! 🙂
There’s also Christian nymphos. (Which is not as…questionable…as the title may sound like. It’s quite forthright, but respectful and biblical.)
Rebecca is right. Sex isn’t a taboo subject for Christians. In fact, one of the most sensual, erotic books ever written was by King Solomon and is in the Bible (The Song of Solomon). Personally, I like the (very poetic) King James translation, but any translation will do.
Prepare for a whole new outlook on the Bible and sex.
My advice (from experience): Ignore most Christians, denominations in general, and “historical Christianity” (not always a pretty picture, to say the least)… instead go to the source and discover what God really said and intended for us. Unfortunately, humans are really good at messing everything up.
I’ve read Song of Solomon 🙂 I was not saying that sex SHOULD be a taboo subject, according to the Bible. I was saying that Christians have made it taboo for some odd reason, when in reality we *should* be talking about it more. 🙂
Really important note – – oils are NOT compatible with latex condoms. So if you think there is a chance that this DIY massage oil might uh – travel south – and you are depending on latex condoms…. you’ll need another plan. 😉
Re: photosensitivity from citrus eo’s — 6 hours is the absolute minimum timeframe. Some people will still have a reaction 24+ hours after.
Thanks for those tips, Sarah!
I am a Christian and sex is not a taboo subject…. hmmm. The only thing my church says about sex that would be constraining is that we shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage and that it is a sin. But once you are married — no holds barred!! That is the way it should be!! 🙂
I wasn’t saying that God made sex a taboo subject… I was saying that Christians have made it so. It’s just not talked about freely in any church I’ve ever been to, and I think that’s a common experience in the Christian culture today.
Thanks for the directions 🙂 I thought I would add a way to help you stay connected with your spouse is showering together. My husband and I have done this almost since day 1 of our relationship and we have now been married for 21 yrs. Not every shower is the slow and sensual, but a lot of them are and you really get to know each other well in this way, noticing changes over time and such.
Yes! Difficult to do with little ones around, but I wholeheartedly agree with your recommendation 😉