Evolution of a Small-Living-Space-Lover

{Average Sized Homes Around the World}

I recently came across this graph depicting the average home size from countries around the world, and it intrigued me. Many of the comments on that article critique the way the numbers are depicted, but the fact remains – Americans are infamous for their extra-large sized homes as compared to the rest of the world, and to the homes in previous generations.

In an NPR article entitled “Behind the Ever-Expanding American Dream House”, we read that “the average American house size has more than doubled since the 1950s; it now stands at 2,349 square feet. Whether it’s a McMansion in a wealthy neighborhood, or a bigger, cheaper house in the exurbs, the move toward ever large homes has been accelerating for years. Consider: Back in the 1950s and ’60s, people thought it was normal for a family to have one bathroom, or for two or three growing boys to share a bedroom. Well-off people summered in tiny beach cottages on Cape Cod or off the coast of California. Now, many of those cottages have been replaced with bigger houses. Six-room apartments in cities like New York or Chicago have been combined, because upper-middle-class people now think a six-room apartment is too small. Is it wealth? Is it greed? Or are there more subtle things going on?”

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Our own family has been on quite the living space journey, and it hasn’t been steadily increasing, as our culture would have us believe is ideal. We started out our married life in a basement bachelor apartment. One room that contained our “bedroom” (which we divided off by hanging a white sheet), a “living room”, and the kitchen/dining area, plus a bathroom. In my mind that place is filled with memories of our first year of marriage (the hard and the euphoric and all the bits in between). I loved setting up my first home and was just happy to have my own space, no matter the size. We then moved on to several other living spaces over the years (our ninth anniversary is next month), mostly in the small apartment size range. One place was an apartment above a double garage, which rivalled our bachelor suite in size. When we had our first baby we lived in a sort of rundown 2-bedroom townhouse that was like a mansion in our eyes. We had two floors AND a basement!

Then two years ago we moved to the other side of the country to Tiny Town, and settled in to a cute little 3-bedroom house with no basement. It was quite cozy but perfect, with more than enough space if we were honest. Then 5 months later found us unexpectedly moving again, this time to the only thing available on short notice, which was a 4000-square foot home with four bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. It had two tiny separate apartments rented out which took our living space down to a “paltry” 3000-square feet or so (!!!). We were given a really great deal because the landlady was also a believer and wanted tenants she could trust. I realize that lots of people in our culture actually live in a house that size and think nothing of it, but to us it was totally crazy.

Facing an unaffordable rent increase five months ago found us moving (our third home in two years here in Tiny Town!) into the house in which we currently live. It’s WAY smaller, but still more than adequate for our needs. When we moved lots of people thought we were crazy to give up that big house, and lots of people just didn’t understand why we’d want to, but in actual fact I LOVE this smaller house so much more.

While I enjoyed many aspects of the ginormous house (no end of storage space, more than enough kitchen cupboard and counter space, lots of space for the kids to run and play in the biggest living room I’ve ever seen, a huge walk-in closet and private bath in the master bedroom…), in the end it was just… too much.

Too much to clean, too much to organize. Too much space in between souls – when you can sit 30 feet away from each other and still be in the same room. Too much work to trek from one end to the other to put away laundry. Too much to clean. Too separated from my babies by the heavy door to the upstairs that didn’t let me hear their cries that first evening in the house (we got baby monitors!). Oh, and did I mention that it was way too much to clean? It took nearly half an hour just to vacuum the living room and dining room area, including plugging in the vacuum in several different places because the cord wasn’t long enough to reach.

And yes, I felt a little embarrassed every we’d have someone new over and we’d watch their jaw drop when they saw the size of the main living area. I felt the need to justify, to explain that we didn’t pay all that much in rent, and it was a pretty good deal, etc. etc. “Don’t think I’m shallow or snobby!” I wanted to beg. It turns out that my embarrassment revealed a tendency in my own heart to wrongly judge others living in lavishly large homes. I was afraid that others would judge me in that same fashion, and I realized how immature and wrong that had been.

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Fast forward to present day and this subject has been on my mind constantly as we think about our future, which will hopefully include owning our own home at some point. We live here in Tiny Town but long to move closer to family, and as we think about how to accomplish this it inevitably comes down to our choice of accommodations.

How small can you go?

A two-bedroom apartment is much more affordable than a 3 or 4. As in – hundreds of dollars difference, generally. Is it worth it? Our immediate goals include A) paying off flying debt, B) saving for a down payment, and C) gaining experience and advancing in Chris’s career (and for those that know our story – yes, serving overseas is still a goal as well).

Could we actually live in a 2-bedroom apartment for a period of time with 3 kids and be happy?

Gosh, I sure as heck hope that our happiness is not dependent on how many square feet we happen to occupy. What a crock that we’ve been fed by our culture. Our kids all “need” their own rooms? I hardly think so. We “need” a spacious home so that our kids can spread out their over-abundance of toys and junk they never actually play with? No thanks.

What happened to the notions of real sacrifice and working diligently for your goals?

Could 3 kids share a bedroom? With bunk beds and a single bed? I don’t see why not. Sure there may be some bedtime headaches as they got used to it. The end of the world? I hardly think so.

Can I cook healthy and fabulous meals in a smaller kitchen without the bajillion single-use kitchen gadgets that our culture would have us believe are necessary to my happiness as a housewife? I daresay I can (and do currently!).

Can we reject the notion that family togetherness is not of utmost importance? Yup. Done and done.

We love being together. We love each other. We love life.

I fail to see the problem.

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What do you think? What kind of space do you live in? What kind of space do you aspire to have?

Would you ever consider living in a (relatively speaking) way small place in order to accomplish certain goals?

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