“I’ll be a park, and thou shalt be my deer; Feed where thou wilt, on mountains or in dale; Graze upon my lips, and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.” William Shakespeare (1593)
My oh my, Mr. Shakespeare – you sure set the bar high in the sensuality department.
At the risk of becoming the blog that won’t stop talking about embarrassing subjects, we’re talking about the big S-E-X today.
I’ve already confessed to my new year’s sex resolution, we’ve talked about how I’m not using shampoo for a month, and about how I tried reusable TP. In the past I have discussed the how and why of consuming your placenta after giving birth, how much I love cloth pads for my menstrual cycle, and other favorites like not showering every day.
Since I guess I’ve already kind of established myself as a lover of taboo and slightly weird topics… let’s dive right in, shall we?
For whatever reason, Christians don’t talk about sex, and if they do it’s almost always in a shaming and fear-mongering way.
I’ve never heard a sermon preached on “How to Spice Up your Sex Life Without Porn or Perversions” or “How to Rekindle Sexual Passion After You’ve been Married for a Decade, had 3 Babies, and Forgot what Sex was Because you were so Damn Sleep-Deprived”. (I betcha a hundred bucks those titles would pack out the pews on a Sunday morning.)
Unfortunately, since Christians don’t usually talk about it, we learn all we know from Cosmopolitan Magazine and Hollywood, which loves to portray the hot and heavy quickies with much ado, usually fueled by uninhibited lustful desires.
In a world of cheap, de-valued, and plentiful sexual encounters, the fact that sex is inherently an act of intimacy is often forgotten.
Despite embracing a crudely animalistic mentality regarding sex, one thing our culture does get right is the encouragement of sensuality between two committed adults. (I’d place a few more parameters there, personally, but that’s another post for another day.)
Of course, sensuality is a bit more than just sexuality. It’s full of layers and nuances and emotional connection.
After being married for a decade, we’ve realized the importance of connecting in a slow and sensual way from the beginning. It can be difficult to carve out time when you’re busy and exhausted from kids and life and all that goes alongside, but it’s absolutely vital.
I love this quote from Voltaire in the 18th century:
“It is not enough to conquer, one must know how to seduce.” Voltaire (1743)
Taking time to really see each other’s bodies and slowly employing the power of touch is immeasurably powerful.
The art of truly seeing and feeling can be a discipline of sorts. It takes intention and careful effort. It does not always come naturally… but the rewards are immeasurable.
Today, I’m sharing instructions for making a DIY massage oil, courtesy of Bre from Nourishing the Home.
DIY Sensual Massage Oil
6 drops Ylang Ylang essential oil
4 drops Wild Orange essential oil
2 drops Sandalwood essential oil
A carrier oil, like almond oil or fractionated coconut oil
In addition, although it’s not absolutely necessary, these types of small, 2 oz glass bottles are really nice for storing the massage oil.
Add essential oil drops to the bottle, then fill the remainder with a carrier oil like almond oil or fractionated coconut oil. With citrus oils, it is best to use a glass or stainless steel container, like the one I linked above. grapefruit or bergamot (both citrus oils) could be substituted for wild orange or even a pre-made citrus blend.
Ylang Ylang is distilled from a beautiful starfish-shaped flower native to tropical Asia. It is an aphrodisiac and helpful for reducing anxiety.
Wild Orange oil is expressed from the peel of the fruit. It is an energizing and uplifting oil while also being a sedative by giving feelings of peace.
Sandalwood has many wonderful uses (such as treatment for bronchitis and coughs and dry skin) but is often used as anti-depressant and is very soothing.
Word of caution: when using photosensitizing oils (i.e. citrus oils like wild orange), wait at least six hours before exposing the skin to UV rays.
There are a number of possibilities in oils that could be added for our purposes, but Bre explains her reasoning on including these specific ones:
“As much as I want to include Rose or Jasmine oil in the blend, those are expensive and sometimes hard to find oils.”
So, that’s it – pretty simple, right? As we’ve discussed many times before, body care products on the shelves these days can be pretty sketchy in terms of ingredient safety and toxicity… so I’d rather just avoid them as much as possible. This is an easy and effective method to spice up the sensuality in your bedroom.
Also, here’s some legal jibber jabber that tells you that I have included affiliate links in this post and may stand to make thirty-seven cents or so from them. Just an FYI. In case you cared.
(If you liked this, here are a few more posts you might enjoy…)
Homemade Toothpaste (with clay and coconut oil)
Why I Stopped Using Coconut Oil as a Skin Moisturizer
All-Over Home Balm
50 Uses for Essentials (and the first three things I tried)
Is Your Mattress Toxic? Hidden Dangers in Your Sleeping Environment
How to Make Your Own Beeswax Tea Light Candles
I'm Beth. I created Red & Honey because I'm obsessed with the wild art of wellness.