Guest post by Andrea Vandiver
“Am I doing it right?”
That’s the first thing I said when my son began to nurse half an hour after he was born. I thought I was a professional. I thought I had prepared. I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding like three times.
I knew how important it was to get the perfect latch and without even thinking about it, went with the standard cross-cradle hold.
You know, the position you see every woman using.
But one week into new motherhood bliss, I had a severely cracked nipple and cringed any time a “helpful” family member said, “He’s hungry!” I literally wept every time I nursed him. After several days of pain and a couple of well-intentioned suggestions to switch to formula, I decided to go to a local La Leche League meeting.
It was there I met Ruth, who saved my nursing relationship and my sanity by introducing me to laid-back breastfeeding.
What is laid-back breastfeeding?
Laid-back breastfeeding, also known as biological nurturing, is kind of a non-positioned form of breastfeeding. The idea is that while breastfeeding is natural, it’s only instinctual for our babies. Us mothers have long since distanced ourselves from our primitive sides, but babies are born with a set of instincts that will keep them fed and alive. These instincts will drive and guide our sweet babes to the nipple, with little to no help from us. Breastfeeding shouldn’t be primarily about us learning a new skill; it should be about letting nature take its course. (7 Ways to Naturally Increase Breast Milk Supply)
How do I do it?
To begin, simply relax into a comfortable semi-reclined position. Imagine how you would sit to watch TV or read a book. Use pillows behind your back if needed. You want your neck, back and shoulders supported
Place your baby tummy-to-tummy with their feet pointed towards your feet. Allow your baby to find the nipple on his own. Some refer to this as the breast crawl – and laid-back breastfeeding is simply a continuation of that.
Why is it beneficial?
Laid-back breastfeeding allows the baby to do the latching, not the mother. If you were taught conventional breastfeeding positions, you were probably told to touch the baby’s nose and chin with your nipple and when the baby opens her mouth widely, bring the baby to you and let her latch.
The problem with this is that the baby doesn’t choose the angle, which can cause a shallow latch and create a lot pain and discomfort. Laid-back breastfeeding eliminates a lot of common latching problems.
This position is extremely helpful for babies born with a tongue or lip tie. Laid-back breastfeeding allows the baby to latch at the angle and position that works best for them.
With proper support, you can comfortably nurse like this for 30… 45… 60 minutes during those sometimes-tiring cluster feedings.
With the help of gravity, you won’t need more than an occasional steadying hand on the baby’s back, which frees you up to multi-task.
What if I had a c-section?
No problem. You can use this same approach by allowing baby to latch on from the side, with their nose pointed toward your chest and their feet pointed away from your body.
Is there a down side?
In the beginning it’s best to help your baby by having as much skin-to-skin contact as possible so they can use their senses to find the nipple. This might not be feasible if you need to nurse while out and about, but you can adjust as you and your baby’s comfort levels rise.
I specifically remember sitting in that La Leche League meeting with Ruth, cringing, as my son was about to nurse in this new position. He bobbed his little head around and latched on. And it didn’t hurt a bit. I immediately felt a surge of joy and a renewed bond with him. I knew this was what I should have been doing all along.
It seems that lactations consultants are embracing laid-back breastfeeding more and more and are designating it as the go-to way of nursing. While this may seem like a new thing, biological nurturing is thought to be nature’s intended way of breastfeeding.
Women face tremendous obstacles in breastfeeding as it is, so with fewer latch issues and less pain, maybe this is the start of a revolution. I’m thrilled to see it become mainstream!
And the best thing about it? No expensive breastfeeding pillows required!
Britt
I use this method as I have an “over active letdown” and my baby girl coughs, gags and gets too much air. Gravity us in our favour now and nursing can continue. Only down side is travel, or inability to nurse in public. But sure beats having to change to formula. We pump a lot and she’s catching on to the bottle when we’re out.
Stefanie
Would this work with a baby that was bottle fed for the first four weeks? We are adopting an infant and our agency keeps the babies in foster care for 30 days before we take placement. I am planning on breastfeeding using a SNS and pumping, but my worry is that a baby who has been bottle-fed will have trouble latching onto the SNS. Does anyone have experience with this? Would laid back nursing help?
Beth
Hey Stefanie! I’m sorry – I have no experience with that situation. (Congrats on the new baby though!!!) I would highly recommend reaching out to your local La Leche League. They are breastfeeding experts, and can probably help! 🙂
Stefanie
Thanks for writing back, Beth! A week after I asked this question, I found out that I was pregnant! Our adoption is on hold due to the agency’s policy of not letting pregnant women adopt 🙁 but it does give us the opportunity to adopt after this baby arrives, and Lord willing, I can make enough milk for both! I am looking forward to trying laid back breastfeeding!
Ninna
My baby was born few weeks early & really small. Baby couldn’t latch and didn’t have force for feeding, and we had really tough first few weeks: I used breast pump, my nipples were bleeding, it hurt terribly, I got mastitis, then my baby got hospitalised for jaundice for 2 nights. On top of all that, my mum died only few days after I gave birth.
It was an awful experience.
My husband was ready to buy formula when ever he saw me with the pump (I was crying every time that first week, it hurt so much, but I never stopped). I convinced him to give me some time. Then I bought silicone shields. It helped. We removed pump & bottle and I was so happy that my baby was finally breastfeeding. After a month friends and family members started telling me that I should remove the shields and make the baby feed without them or just use the formula and stop torturing myself. My husband told me to ignore everyone and do as I want.
I really wanted to breastfeed without the shields, but every time I tried to remove them my baby would choke and cry and scream, so after 3 weeks of consulting, Googleing, reading and trying different strategies, I gave up.
Until one morning we were playing in bed, me on my back and baby on top of me. In one moment, baby tried to take the nipple through my clothes. I was shocked but I reacted fast, removed the shirt and let the baby latch.
I was so proud of my baby for achieving something so important.
After that I put the shields on only one more time. But this time the shields were welcomed with screams, so I put them away. Forever, I hope. That felt like another small victory.
My baby is 5.5 months old now & I’m proud to say we’re breastfeeding professionals by now: breastfeeding anytime, anywhere, in various positions, without help and without pain!
What I learned from this experience?
Let your baby lead the way. Not only for the breastfeeding. They don’t use their brain yet, they only use their instincts, something we forgot how to use. We read and practice, we consult experts and doctors. We over think and over do everything. They just do it without thinking.
Keep your life simple. Let your baby be your leader.
*I apologize for the lenght, but I hope this story can help someone in similar situation.
Beth
What an amazing story! You overcame so much, and you should be proud! Thanks for sharing, Ninna! xo
Emily
My sister swears by this crawl+latch method for the newborn. I’ve also seen her lie on her side and nurse too, which seems to have worked fine for her. I am grateful for her example and all that she has learned so I can be better prepared when my own babes come along. I read one comment here that mentions it feels special to have the baby on the tummy outside where he once was inside. My sister has also mentioned that putting the baby like this after birth (immediately and thereafter as possible) is a signal from nature to the mother’s body to help the womb recover/settle back down. How awesome is that! Babies and bodies work together and know what to do. Simply miraculous.
Nikki
I really hope this helps us…I’ve been breastfeeding my baby for almost 5 months now in excruciating pain with cracked nipples and a constant burning sensation. We were told 3 weeks ago he has a slight tongue tie so we got that fixed and still no relief from this pain. My nipples will not heal! 🙁 this is going to be my last resort, I can’t take it anymore. The last thing I want to do is formula feed my baby but he must feel the anxiety I get every time I nurse him and that can’t be healthy for either of us.
Melissa
I wish so much that I had discovered this years ago. I gave birth to my 7th baby this past October. I had always struggled with getting a good latch with my previous babies. Thankfully, I heard about the breast crawl while pregnant with him. When he was born, I put him directly on my bare chest. Sure enough he found that nipple so fast. They let me keep him there for a half hour before taking him to be weighed and measured. It was the most amazing bonding experience. I kept him only in a diaper and skin to skin the whole time we were in the hospital. He actually left weighing more than his birth weight. That was a first. Typically I would spend the next month cringing at every feeding. This time, I had no soreness at all! It was nursing bliss. My milk even came in faster. I just wish I would have known this a long time ago.
Britney
I’ve been breastfeeding for a week now and it has been a terrible tear-inducing experience. I will definitely be trying this and hopefully, it works!
Beth
Oh goodness – big hugs to you, mama. The first little bit can be pretty rough. I hope you can stick with it – it does get way easier! You could also try contacting your local La Leche League, or a lactation consultant, if you haven’t already. xoxo
Laura Leighton
I tried this with my second; wish I had known about it with my first! Definitely made for a deeper latch.
Elan
This miraculously saved me during breastfeeding with my second daughter. I wish I knew about this with my first born. I swear by this way of breastfeeding
Beth
Thank you! I have just come off using nipple shields and what you describe was my approach. I have been told my “technique” needs work but letting bubs do things her own way has her so much happier. Glad I read this, makes me feel like I’m doing something right.
Beth
Hurray! Keep it up, Mama… sounds like you’re doing an amazing job. xo
Tori
As an OB nurse I have found your post very helpful! I am going to help new moms try this if there’s interest and would like to try it myself with our next baby. I too had really sore nipples from our son latching and unlatching!
Tori
http://www.themamanurse.com
Beth
Thanks Tori! That means a ton, coming from an OB nurse. Hope it’s helpful to you and your patients! 🙂
Ros
I was “blessed” with a major over supply issue, almost chocking my son with too much milk at a time. I found reclining almost to a laying down position with him laying on top meant that the flow slowed and he didn’t choke. It was wonderful!!
Beth
I had major oversupply as well! It’s definitely a good problem to have, all things considered, as long as you can find the position that works for you. I’m glad you did! 🙂
Jill
I was the laziest mother in the world because I had to go back to work when my daughter was 3 months old. So night feeds involved getting her out of her cot at the end of the bed, lying on my side and letting her feed while I carried on sleeping. It worked wonderfully for us. Being on her side meant she did not get wind and I got more sleep than any of my other new mother friends. Sometimes I would wake up when she latched herself on for another feed and I would simply take her off the breast, roll over and let her latch herself on to the other breast, while I carried on sleeping.
Myra
I had no idea about this BUT I do want to mention that I’ve been breastfeeding my baby in this position. I found that it was much more comfortable after holding my LO in my arms to feed. The first time I did it, it was instinctual that I positioned him exactly as you’ve described where his little legs pointed out toward my feet. I had him on my stomach and watched him find his way to one of my nipple.
As he slowly tried to get to my right breast, I simply watched with amazement! It was incredible to watch him “figure” it out on his own–with a little him from mommy of course.
In any case, this is a fantastic position that new moms shoukd try. There’s also something special you’ll feel (at least for me it did) with the way your baby lays on your stomach where he was once in.
Juliana
I’ve read up on this and it makes all the sense in the world. Breastfeeding the way we are being tought today feels almost impossibly painful for most mom especially if they do not work with a lactation consultant. How did people do it before lactation consultants? I will try it with my next baby 🙂 However, I would love to hear from someone that has been successful with this method even though they have breast implants. Please share if this method is possible with breast implants.
Teri
Is this method possible for those of us not so blessed with huge saggy milk holders?
Maggie
I have a 3.5 year old and 5 month old twins. I grew up where breastfeeding was the norm. My mom was in a LA Leche group. I thought I knew everything there was to know about nursing. Until my son was born and we only made it 9 months. I tandem nurse my twins and came across laid back nursing when they were a week or so old. It is super comfy and I’m happy to report that they are fat and healthy and we’re still going strong!
Morgan
I sincerely wish I had found this article about a year ago. I struggled through two and a half weeks trying to breastfeed the way the nurse taught me (and LC I met with enforced) in the hospital, and ended up choosing to exclusively pump for my son for 6 months. By the time I’d decided to EP, I was literally banging my head against a wall while bawling, waiting for my son to latch and feeling like a total failure. My hubby stepped in, cuddled up our LO, and reminded me that pumping was still breastfeeding, even if he didnt get it directly from the breast. Next time around, I’m going to try again, but try it this way. Thank you!
Andrea
Morgan! Bless your heart! The misinformation surrounding breastfeeding is so frustrating. I hope laid-back breastfeeding works for your next time around, but your hubby was right, pumping is still breastfeeding! Sending love your way!
Valerie
After 5 weeks of terrible gas for baby, constant nursing, and sore, bleeding nipples for me, a third LC was instantly sure that a lip/tongue tie was the issue for us. It was, and resolving it was a huge relief in the gas, but not in the latching bc of poorly learned behaviors that were not being unlearned fast enough for me to heal properly. At my wits end, I asked myself, “what would I be doing if I were a tribal member somewhere, without an on-call pediatrician’s office, nurses and LCs?” Well, I’d probably just nurse however we were comfortable, just like we did 20 minutes after he was born and he crawled himself up to my nipple and started nursing without any direction or guidance; without boppy’s and without rocking chairs, and without ottomans or a million throw pillows. We’d probably sleep together at night, so we were totally in tune to eachothers’ needs, and we’d use tribal knowledge instead of hospital knowledge. So, that’s what we did. I started looking at my baby, my husband, and myself like we were a tribe. We started laying down or sitting Indian style on the floor to nurse, and even walking around sometimes (easier than you imagine when you aren’t worried about being in a “right” position). I stopped squeezing my nipple like a sandwich, I stopped worrying if he got the whole thing in or not if it wasn’t painful and I heard him swallowing. I stopped correcting him, and let him correct himself, and boy- did he ever if there was a milk flow issue- he’d pop himself off and re-latch! Now, 6 months later, my baby has never had formula, grows like a weed, doesn’t have terrible gas, and I don’t have sore nipples. Women need to follow their instincts, trust and be trusted when that instinct says something is wrong, and not worry as much about doing it all by “the book”. Breastfeeding is awkward at first, but it’s natural. Logically, it just shouldn’t be as difficult as we make it. I say that after 5 weeks of literal hell with breastfeeding that probably makes a lot of people quit when they should need to. It just shouldn’t be that hard. I am so glad to see posts like this because it encourages that instinct, the logic, and the very natural approach to the most basic thing we can do as mothers. Breastfeeding wasn’t perfected in a clinical setting, it was perfected in the wild, so why don’t we use that instinct more?!?
Kelly
I’ve nursed 3 babies and have a grandchild on the way. I was always taught the baby needed to be on his back, not just for bottle, but to nurse, too. There were times, we’d nurse in bed and I worried cause my babies were on their side not back. But, thinking about baby nursing on his tummy makes perfect sense. The let down causes our milk to automatically flow, all baby has to do is swallow. We’ve had lots of litters of baby kittens and very seldom do they lay on their backs to eat! 🙂 I’ll share this with my DIL. Why have we been taught they need to be on their backs? Does that just hole true for bottle feedings? Thanks for the feedback! Blessings!
Beth
I’m not sure why you were told that babies need to be on their backs to nurse – that sounds super awkward for positioning! Hope your DIL appreciates the post too 🙂