Warning: this post is longer than the longest thing in the world. I should have split it up, but I didn’t want to. You’ve been forewarned.
Hey Pretty Mama, in your yoga pants and ponytail, slamming back the coffee like it’s magic (which it totally is). I’m terrified to write this letter, if I’m being honest. I have been wanting to share my story with you for so long, but have been much too scared to speak, for many reasons.
There are so many wars fought in the name of The Best Way in baby-rearing.
When you become a parent for the first time you generally catch on pretty quickly that you’re supposed to stake your flag into one side or the other. Pick a side, join a camp, wear team colours proudly. Follow your instincts, they say at first! And also… our Ten Convincing Reasons We’re Right! handout, these biased pamphlets, and this expert… and that one, too.
I arrived at this fork in the road while pregnant with my first child, reading everything I could get my hands on. Mostly on the internet, because hello: 21st century, right? Message boards, blog posts, websites of psychologists and child development theorists, friends and family, and around and around again like a never-ending merry-go-round of opinions and information, until I fell off in a dizzy heap. Instincts? I thought to myself. You mean this glassy-eyed feeling of confusion and panic is not normal? Huh.
So, I read stuff. I collected information and shoved it into my over-crowded brain like a clown car at a circus. I talked it out with my husband regularly. Of course, it was all still theory at this point. Our only child was still relatively easy, being still in the womb and stuff. One day while driving somewhere I gave him the introduction, 3 point argument, and conclusion for why I had decided to shack up with Camp A. Then, the next day I’d read something else equally convincing for the other side and become my own devil’s advocate, convinced that Camp B was, in fact, the way to go.
I flip-flopped back and forth like that for weeks. Months, actually. Struggling back and forth constantly with this decision is one of the biggest defining memories from my first pregnancy, and in the end I never felt completely settled one way or another.
The decision that plagued me most and caused me the most anguish was sleep-training. The idea of crying it out versus, well… not crying-it-out. It seemed to be all parents talked about: the fact that they were so freaking exhausted, and how to deal.
I had several great friends at the time who offered advice and recommendations for books and resources. So I nabbed one of the books and started reading. It explained the scientific basis of the importance of sleep. Basically, your child must get enough sleep or he will morph into a tiny evil frankenstein at night, murder your every hope of happiness, and then probably end up in prison or dead.
Ok, it may not have outlined it exactly like that, but I do recall becoming quite terrified about the number of hours in which my kid was snoozing, and thus quite willing to do whatever the book told me to do in order for him to sleep the appropriate amount of time. The book advocated the cry-it-out method if establishing a strict schedule did not “work” first.
Then, one sunny September afternoon, I gave birth. I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that the earth hung in limbo for a tiny second as he came into it. There was before, and then there was after. I was profoundly and irrevocably changed in a cosmic and mysterious way.
We were exhausted, of course. We had missed a night of sleep while labouring, then, you know, I did the whole giving birth thing, and here was this shiny and plump little red-faced creature with teeny whisps of dark hair all over his head. I held his bare body on my bare chest and wrapped my hospital gown around us both, unsure of what to do now that I could no longer shield him from the world with just my body.
We spent a night at the hospital, then came home, thrilled and terrified. That first night was hell. We spent every minute of the whole night getting him to sleep – nursing, rocking, diapering… and laying him in his cradle a foot from my head. He took a solid fifteen-second nap each time, then woke up and wanted to snuggle again. I bet you missed me, didn’t you, mama? Here I am!
My mom had said to call in the morning if we needed anything, so at 6:01am, I phoned her, choking back sniffling sobs of sheer wall-slammed exhaustion as I mumbled something not-really coherent. She came over that day, and I remember falling into her arms as she hugged me, and I choked back weeping tears as despair flooded over me. I had never been so exhausted in my entire life, and little did I know it was going to get worse before it got better.
It continued like that for months as the little brown-eyed treasure – with whom we were hopelessly in love – proved himself to be a spirited child right from the start. He would not sleep in his crib, in a carseat, in a cradle, in a swing, or on anything other than a warm and snuggly body, for more than an hour, maybe? I question that because it’s mostly a horrific blur of panicked survival.
I don’t recall specifics, but I do recall the terror. Wondering if I was going to actually survive. Wondering if you could die of sleep deprivation, or if I’d be the mom that went off the deep end and actually ended up harming her child. I was probably dealing with some undiagnosed postpartum depression as well: I remember an evening when he was 9 months and I was more or less just as exhausted as ever, and as I sat there in that yellow room bathed in the glow of a nightlight, rocking him to sleep yet again. I thought about what it would be like to toss him out the bedroom window. I pictured it happening in my mind, and pictured the scenario in a somewhat detached mindset.
I somehow knew that there was no real danger at hand, but I do recall vividly the feeling of despair and hopelessness. One night at small group Bible study (where we were the only ones with a baby) someone asked me a basic question (nothing hard – it was something inane and simple) and I struggled to make the words come out of my mouth beyond nonsensical syllables. The sentence was formed in my head, but the gears in my brain were so exhausted that they were not even able to get my mouth to form a coherent sentence. I remember feeling humiliated and stupid after muddling through the answer, before clamming up the rest of the evening. There was a constant haze that surrounded my brain, making me feel stupid and out of it, for most of that first year.
By the time he was 3.5 months, we were desperate. In fact, I think that’s putting it lightly. I was ill-equipped to deal with the level of exhaustion that we experienced. In fact, I recall many a time using that as the basis of a light joke when people would ask the awful question, “So, is he sleeping through the night yet?”. I’d respond with “No, not really. We’re pretty tired these days. Now we know why they use sleep deprivation as a torture tactic in terrorism!” Ha ha, how cute – so hyperbolic and witty! Except that I was so serious…
Slowly but surely, the flag that my instincts had led me to plant in Camp A became uprooted as we began the trek over to the other side. The instincts that told me that my baby’s desire to be with me was completely natural and healthy were told to shut up the eff up, and sit down. The instinct for survival was greater, and I thought that the only way to do that was to change camps. So we did.
To this day, as he is 5.5 years old, my heart is utterly broken and grieved by what we did next. At 3.5 months old, we let him “cry it out”. According to the cry-it-out experts, most babies will need to cry for just a short while – 10 minutes or so – before falling asleep and sleeping for the longest stretch of their lives thus far. The SUPER important issue, however, is to never, ever, EVER give in and go to him. Because then he’ll think he’s won, he can manipulate you, and you’re sunk.
The books I read encouraged parents to let the baby cry for as long as it needed to, and one of the books even said that if the baby vomited, to leave it, and change the sheets the next morning.
This is the number one biggest regret of my entire life, for which I am sick and ashamed: In desperation, we let that sweet baby boy scream and wail and cry for for three hours. He screamed hysterically for three hours as we played board games in the basement to get away from the sound, with the baby monitor turned down. I’m not sure which ached more: my full breasts or my heart weeping with sorrow. This went for several nights and then the length began to shorten ever so slightly. I thought I had no choice. I thought it was our last resort.
Eventually, something happened and we stopped, because it so clearly was not working the way it was “supposed to”. We tried so hard to obey the advice, to do it “right”, to find relief from our desperate exhaustion and become better parents in the process. That didn’t happen. I don’t recall the specifics of how and when and where from then on, with regard to his sleeping habits. It has mostly been blocked from my memory. I just know that no benefit whatsoever came from that decision, and I will regret it to the very core of my being, until the day I die.
As I type this, sitting in bed late at night, he’s asleep beside me, between his Daddy and I. He has his own bed, but always ends up in ours in the middle of the night. We don’t mind a single bit, and we cherish the moments that he sleeps beside us as we get to kiss his soft head and cheeks, while the last bits of his babyhood rapidly fade away for good.
He struggles with falling asleep on his own now. He prefers to have us close by in the same room. If you ask me, I’ll tell you straight up that yes, I do think that’s a residual effect of what he went through as a baby. The high levels of stress and panic that flooded his infant brain were not healthy, and have likely affected him in ways we’ll never fully understand. I sit in his darkened room as he falls asleep, sometimes right on my lap, and I cradle his gangly limbs as they hang off my lap in all directions, and I kiss his head and face, and whisper lovey-doveys in his ears. I will do it every night of my life until he says he doesn’t need it anymore – when he decides he’s ready to take that next step of independence.
I want you to know, dear sweet sleep-deprived mama, that I get it. I so get the exhaustion, the desperation, the feeling like the fog will never, ever lift, and the despair. I also want you to know that it will get better. One day, down the road, that sweet baby will sleep a little longer, then a little longer, and then on and on it goes, until you wake up one day and marvel that a new stage is at hand, and look – you survived after all.
And here: I’ll tell you some facts I wish someone had told me back then:
— Babies are biologically designed to be near their caregivers for survival, and as such aren’t usually super fond of sleeping all alone in the dark.
— Sleeping through the night is defined as a 5-hour stretch, and the whole sleeping 12 hours thing doesn’t happen until toddlerhood or later, for the majority of healthy and normal children.
— Co-sleeping can be done safely and effectively, and has been shown to decrease the rate of SIDS as well as getting better sleep for both mother and baby.
— Letting a baby CIO can have long-lasting negative effects on a child’s brain chemistry.
— The CIO method will also likely not “work” at all for a certain subset of children who are defined as “spirited children” (such as our sweet boy.) Their brains are just wired differently, and CIO will probably not work at all.
So why was this such a terrifying story to tell? I guess for fear of being condemned (God knows I’ve done that enough for myself). I also don’t want you to read this as a judgment or pronouncement on an entire camp or way of thinking. I have my opinions, of course, but that’s not the story I wanted to tell.
I simply share because I want the mama who feels that pressure to sleep-train to know that’s it’s ok to choose not to do it. It’s ok to listen to your instincts to go to your baby when he cries. It’s ok to cry from exhaustion and not know how you’re going to survive the day ahead. It’s ok to try new things and read books and think and pray and agonize and muddle through it all like a couple of total dummies. At the end of the day you have a tiny creature who depends on you for their very life. Your bond is unstoppable and your love is all-consuming. Let that be your guide.
Trust that mama-heart that God gave you, and snuggle your sweet little baby. Rock him to sleep and kiss his soft head. Drink an extra cup of coffee and call a friend. Make it through another day, one single hour at a time. You can and you will survive.
So much love to you, dear one.
xo,
B.
Chanel
My 15 month old son cosleeps and has only slept thru the night 4 times. He also cannot nap without me holding him. I am so close to losing my mind. I needed this. Thank you.
Candice
Thank you for posting this. You have given me courage to reach out and inform more people with those things you wish you knew. I did a mass of research too and I think having a scientific background helped. I managed to dodge the influence and I’m so glad I did. Bed sharing safely has been the most beautiful time with lots and lots of sleep for everyone. For some reason I’ve been afraid to advise people. Probably fear of criticism or backlash. I’d only be trying to help. I will do more now. Thank you for being so honest. Hugs to you.
Claire
Thanks for being honest , I totally related to this
Kate
Thank you for writing this x
Allison Caylor
I usually don’t get into these sorts of discussions, but I think my voice may be needed here. No judgment on what you did, or what you’re saying – at all! – but I’d like to tell my story in case someone needs to hear it too.
Those newborn weeks were agony, just like Beth wrote. We tried cosleeping at first, but even in the depths of sleep deprivation, I simply could not sleep well like that, if at all. Neither could my husband. So into the bassinet our little boy went. Blissfully, at almost 3 months, he started sleeping five hours, then six, then seven… so from about 3 to 5 months, he slept 9 hours every night. It was amazing. I’d put him through his routine of bath, lotion, songs, goodnights, and then nurse him to sleep. And he’d stay asleep. Then long about 6.5 months, he started waking up an hour or two after bedtime. The next night, he woke up twice. Then he was staying asleep no longer than 1.5 hours at a time. Often only 30 minutes. I’d have to spend at least that long rocking him soundly asleep every time. I tried sleeping with him – it didn’t help. During the day, he’d only go to sleep either nursing or if I stood up and rocked him (and he was about 25 pounds at this point). I kept at this for over three months, running on only a couple hours of sleep each night. I wanted what was best for him – period – and I’d have given my life blood for that. I’d read an article similar to this, and taken it to heart. But one night, when I laid him down and he woke up and started scooting around his crib crying in exhaustion, I realized that this was not best for him. He needed sleep – he needed the ability to stay asleep. I finally accepted that I needed to look into something different.
So I talked to my mom, the gentlest and kindest woman ever, who raised 10 healthy and happy kids. She told me that over the years, she’d done several different things, and that letting them put themselves to sleep, cold turkey, starting at somewhere around 7-9 months, was what she’d found to be best. Everything else just meant more tears and more distress for the kids in the long run. I talked it over with my husband, with other moms, and thought about it more. And we finally did it. Bath time, lotion, songs, goodnights, nursing… then more hugs and kisses and going into his bed awake. Of course he yelled, and of course it was hard – but it wasn’t the horrible ordeal I had been expecting. He sounded grumpy, tired, and mad, not despairing. And most of all, I knew that this was what he desperately needed. Nights continued like that for a couple of weeks, and even though I could tell it was good for him, I almost gave up on him ever not crying. Then it got less and less…
… and then one night, all smiles, he reached down to get into his bed, grinned up at me, snuggled down on the blankets, and went to sleep. Just like that. He was comfortable and happy sleeping in his own bed, we were actually able to have a normal family life, and I wasn’t on the edge of shattering. He woke up during the night every now and then, and I’d get him up, hug and kiss him, get him a drink, anything he needed, and then say goodnight and put him back in bed. That was hard, but it worked, too.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I would NEVER advise anyone to sleep train in the real, little baby stage. He was old enough that when we told him “no” firmly, he understood not to touch the heater or eat that coffee bean on the floor – old enough to he know I loved him and was there for him when he needed me. I think that some aspects of attachment parenting are great (I’m all for gentleness, selflessness, respect, and closeness!!) but children do not just automatically know what’s best for them. Parents get to make that call – and it is okay to factor in your own legitimate needs. (Co-sleeping sounds great, but I literally cannot sleep with a baby in my bed.) All this to say… there IS a loving time and way to do “sleep training,” and that is okay.
Beth
Thanks for sharing your story, Allison! I’m so glad you took the time to write that out. I’d agree with your conclusions completely with just one caveat. If we change your last sentence to say, “there MAY BE a loving time and way to do “sleep training”, and that is okay”, I’d agree 100%. What I heard from certain sources and the books I was reading was that it’s not only fine for ALL babies, but it’ll work if you persist long enough. And that’s just not true, as evidenced by my highly-spirited baby (who is now a very quirky, intense, spirited eight-year-old). Some kids’ personalities just don’t mesh well with sleep training… but I can totally see how some would! I’m glad it worked well for you without trauma, because sleep deprivation is the worst, amen?! 🙂
Sarah Price
Wow that is an amazing story, I have a 4 month old which is my second and they always say the 2nd is tougher than your first but they both slept well, this one even better as he has slept in his cot in his room from day one and started sleeping 8 hours straight from about 7 weeks old. I’ve had the odd day of exhaustion but I just couldn’t imagine it going on for months, I applaud you. As for the CIO method, I never tried it and glad I didn’t but we all make mistakes. 🙂
Karen moras
Thank you.i needed to read this
Cherry
Parenting in western society is very different from eastern cultures. In my culture mothering is done by instinct rather than books and websites. Hence, you get so stressful because you have a textbook idea of baby sleeping. If it doesn’t work like you read online then you’ve failed. I’m married into the western culture because my husband is American. I’ve been struggling with sleeping training myself because I feel like I’m supposed to do things a particular way but my instincts don’t agree.
Our daughter is 13.5 months old and shares our bed. Not something you hear everyday in the American culture but that’s how it’s done where I come from. Mummy and baby always sleep together until the child is older. It took some convincing for my hubby but it’s been a lot less stressful. I did try CIO once but I couldn’t let it go on for longer than 30 minutes. The second time it was hubby who picked her up only after 10 minutes.
When she was newborn she slept in a cradle next to me because hubby didn’t want me rolling on her.. but since 3 months she sleeps with us during the night. She takes naps either on my lap or the crib after I’ve put her to sleep.
I’m not judging anyone’s parenting style but just thought I’ll write this to help a momma out. If your baby/toddler wants you to sleep, be there for them. it won’t last long. It’s such a special feeling seeing them next to you sleeping.
Jennifer Eck Tanner
I needed this. Oh, how I needed this. My son is 8 months old and, like yours, has never been an easy sleeper. In fact, I am currently holding him as he naps on me right now, like I do for all of his naps. He only sleeps well in my arms (sometimes not even snuggled beside me in bed is enough – he will cry and protest until I sit upright and rock/nurse him to sleep like that.) I am exhausted and frustrated and broken. We’ve tried Ferber (one excruciating night of it) and letting him cry in his crib while I sit right there beside him, shushing and patting. My presence alone is zero comfort to him at these times. He will only calm down and sleep once he’s in my arms again. I haven’t slept more than 2 consecutive hours in 8 months. I definitely needed to read this. Thank you.
Andrea
Jennifer, bless your heart. My son slept on me at night and for naps for a very long time and I still don’t regret doing that. Check out my post on co-sleeping. -Andrea, R&H Assistant
Guisenia Moncada
Thank you for posting this. It’s 1:35am.. im super sleep deprived and ironically suffering insomnia at the same time. My 14 month old in bed with us again, and for the most part I don’t mind. My husband on the other hand minds a lot. We too tried the awful CIO when he was about 9 months…. it was horrible and he’s been more panicked than ever to sleep ever since. He could be falling on his face, and he’ll do anything to keep himself awake. And then when he finally falls asleep, he’ll wake up during the night crying and looking at his surrounding just to make sure he isn’t in his crib or alone. And now that we’ve moved to a new home, it’s even worse. My hubby isn’t too happy about this, and that’s what makes it harder. I even looked into the Montessori bedroom method thing… but not sure how I feel about it yet. Anyways, …. I’ve been pretty stressed and thankful to see I’m not the only one.
Jenn
From a neurological perspective babies lack the capacity to manipulate on a conscious level till they are 4 YEARS OLD. Before then its very much “if i do this then this will happen” (so it’s all on the parents how they behave, how you train them to behave, that’s how they will behave) they cannot lie or alter their behaviour to get you to do what they want. If they feel a need, they express it simple. A child who doesn’t cry when they have a need is not well trained, they’re neglected. The saddest story I ever heard was of a baby who even when starving, lonely, dirty, ill did NOT cry. There was no point, nobody would come to help. It comforted me to know that a crying child is A LOVED ONE.
Let me reassure you, your child will NOT suffer any long lasting damage from your switch to CIO. That is your guilt talking to you and anyone who judges you is ridiculous. Stress does affect a child’s brain but the kind of stress they are talking about is abuse, serious neglect, illness etc. Not a short spell of being left to cry while perfectly safe and well. If you beat yourself up over that you’re in for a shock when you hit the terrible 2s! You DO need to have a backbone and be able to say “no, you’re safe, you need to learn so I’m putting you in your cot till you calm down so you learn you cannot snatch, bite, hit, throw toys at my head etc”
The ultimate trick to parenting? CONFIDENCE.
Confidence to do what is RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY. Confidence to ignore all the advice under the sun if you disagree. Confidence to ask for help if you are struggling. Confidence to know that you’re doing the best job you can with the resources you’ve got at the time. Confidence to know that if your baby is crying it knows mummy will respond so a crying baby=a loving, responsive mummy. You ARE a good mum. Let nobody take that from you.
Candice
How untrue. Please do better research next time you advise people.
Leah
I’m sat reading this with tears rolling down my cheeks, another night of fighting with our baby girl to sleep, every single part of this has rung true. I haven’t done the CIO, I haven’t let myself, much to hubbys despair – so many arguments caused. I know it will get better, she’s almost one and still like this but I know it’s because she needs me, us, she isn’t ready to be on her own just yet. I can sleep when she’s older, I’ll miss her cuddles then, when she wont want my kisses and she won’t let me hold her, I’ll feel guilty then for ever being mad now. Thank you for writing this. X
Missy
Thank you so much for this brutally honest post. My third child is our high needs/spirited child. He is 15 months and I just don’t even know where to turn anymore. He naps on me or the couch -though it’s more like two short cat naps. I fear bed time each night. Foot a short while (one glorious week) he would drink his bottle in my arms, fall asleep, and I or my hubby would lay him in his crib and he would go right back to sleep. It was amazing. But that week past by all too fast and he note screams a death cry when it’s bed time. My hubby takes him to his room, prays with him, lays him down, and walks out. He cries for less then 5 minutes (most nights). But the more he cries before he falls asleep, the shorter the amount of sleep he gets before waking up in a panic. So hubby goes back in and picks him up and comforts him. Then does the same thing from earlier bed time routine. Sometimes he will go right back to sleep the second he closes the door. Other times he screams and then we give in and get him.- then of course it takes several minutes to call him down and convince him I’m not leaving. Then he sleeps in our bed with us.
I don’t want to keep living like this. Its not good for him, it’s not good for me. But how do my hubby and I get adult time? how do we go on a date (after being put to bed he won’t calm down for anyone but me)? How do I get to go have me time with my friends? I live this little guy to pieces but I feel like I’ve been in lock down for 15 months. Help!!
Kim K.
Thank you for sharing this! Just thank you. Also, I have a high-need spirited baby so I felt like it wouldn’t work for him anyway. So for now, I will just do what my heart says and pray for God to guide me in the way that best benefits both him and me. I am going to continue trying ways that don’t involve CIO.
Beth
So glad you’re following your mama-instincts. Keep going! Sending you sleepy baby vibes, and if that doesn’t work… lots of coffee. 😉 xoxo
sara
Thank you for sharing your story. It was comforting to me. I’ve struggled in the sleep department with my now 14 month old son. I’ve been told over and over that i am ruining my child by letting him sleep in bed with me and that i will be stuck qith a 5 year old child in my bed. It’s hard to hear as a first time mom, however, the cio method has never felt right for me or my son. My heart hurts just thinking about it. In a desperate attempt to get some sleep i decided to try it. I let my poor baby scream. It only took a few minutes before he threw up all over himself and his bed. I couldn’t do it. I cleaned him up and in to bed with me he went. I’m told repeatedly by various family members that that makes me weak but i don’t feel like it does. It’s nice to hear a similar story when you feel like your the only one.
Beth
You are most definitely not weak! You’re following your instincts to comfort your baby! Well done, mama! You are definitely not the only one who has been in this situation. Keep going – you’ve got this. xo
Veronica
I am in the middle of dealing with some serious sleep deprivation! I have a 2 year old that isn’t the best at sleeping and a 6 month old that nurses all night (comfort nurses) in my bed between my husband and I making it impossible to sleep! It’s so hard but like you said, knowing myself, I would deeply regret CIO. I think it’s so damaging. I know lots of people do it but it’s unnatural to me and I feel like they finally fall asleep from sheer exhaustion and disappointment that you (mommy or daddy) didn’t help them feel secure. Just pray for me! I’m struggling! I don’t want to be an angry mama bear from lack of sleep!
sarah a
No kids of my own, but here’s an interesting story. I lived for a while in West Africa. An American friend who lived in a neighboring country (Ghana) with his wife and their young son told me this story. They were letting their baby CIO, sitting there miserably counting the minutes, when a local person walked into their house without saying anything, went to the bedroom, picked up the crying baby, carried him out and put him in his mom’s lap and then walked out of the house. Doing this without greeting or speaking was incredibly rude; this was how appalled the local people were that the American woman was letting her baby cry without going to him. (In these countries, moms practice what anthropologists call “elimination anticipation”: babies don’t wear diapers. The mom/older sister caretaker pays attention and is always ready to hold the baby over an outdoor bit of dirt when it needs to go. Mostly no accidents, even with infants. So people have a very high threshold of paying attention to babies’ signals, verbal and non-verbal.)
I recall visiting my sister when she had a newborn infant and a toddler. I was in the guest room when the toddler woke up. He started crying and rattling the door, screaming “I want my mommy!” It was deafening. He was a strong-willed child and his room was next to his parents’ room (where they slept with the baby). It might have been only a short while, but it seemed to me that it went on forever. I didn’t go to the toddler or wake up my sister because I assumed they were letting him CIO and I didn’t want to mess up the program. Eventually she woke up and went to him. I asked her about it the next day and she said, “I would never let my child CIO!” My point is that she was so exhausted neither she nor (inexplicably) her husband heard the older child crying. So–I think CIO must have been happening sometimes by accident, without the parents realizing what was going on.
Take care. I think it’s great you’re sharing your experiences on the this blog.
Beth
YES! Love the African story! I’ve spent a bit of time in East Africa (lived with a local family in Tanzania for 3 months) and really admire their culture in so many ways. I love the way they mother their babies.
Thanks for reading! xo
Leaanne
I found this article when I typed into google “dear god all i want is the ability to nap” and this popped up… Thank you ever so much for the support and encouragement that it gets better. I am currently diagnosed PPD and finally got the help I need and a support group. Tremendous strides.. We are all in this together and it AINT easy! Love to you for this article!
Meg
Thank you. I can relate to so much of your story and am currently walking through it with baby #2. I am encouraged by your honesty, humility and wise words. I am so sad that you have condemned yourself so much. It is clear to me that you love that little man and he blessed to have you as his mama. God bless.
Emily Hartley-Heaven
Thank you. Simply thank you x