When Alice Rumphius was a little girl, she vowed that when she grew up she would travel the world and live in a house by the sea. “ There is a third thing you must do,” her grandfather told her. “ You must do something to make the world more beautiful.” Miss Rumphius fulfilled her dreams. She saw the world and returned home to live by the sea in Maine. But she wondered what she could that would make the world more beautiful.

We gave the book, Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney, to our daughter Aneliese for her fifth birthday and she was delighted. Birthday gifts in our home are often quite simple but we try to make it special towards a current interest and development of the birthday child. We love seeing how they respond and interact with their gifts and although we have definitely had a flop or two, this Miss Rumphius was most certainly not one.

You see, Miss Rumphius makes the world more beautiful by planting lupines in the rocky ground of her garden.

Those lupines spread their seed to bloom all over the hills and headways around her seaside home. Miss Rumphius planted beauty and it multiplied immeasurably.  Aneliese had heard the audio of Miss Rumphius and had expressed the desire to scatter seeds as she had, thus birthed the Miss Rumphius garden birthday gift.

Unfortunately, Lupines, though beautiful, are technically considered a weed and are  actually toxic to horses and cattle (of which we have both) so our Miss Rumphius garden will be Lupine free.

How to Plant Your Miss Rumphius Garden:

What you will need:

• A Copy of Miss Rumphius; bought or library borrowed. (To see some of the lovely art from the pages go here)
• Packets of Flower seeds; wildflower, butterfly, or cottage garden mixes are an excellent and easy option as they give a variety of types and colors, have perenniels and reseed, and grow in varied soils, including poor, rocky soil. They are also easy for even a small child to spread.

Other ideas for additions if this is a gift;

• - A hand trowel or rake
• - A child’s garden trug or basket (then you can arrange everything inside that)
• - Gloves
• - Small watering can

Planting your Miss Rumphius Garden:

•     Prepare the spot for your garden by turning the soil and lightly breaking it up. For the apartment dweller or those without a garden spot, simply fill a pot, bucket, or any tub with some potting soil. Make sure there are some drainage holes.
•      Follow the seed packet instructions for planting and growing. Usually planting instruction for these types of seeds is to scatter the seeds (like Miss Rumphius) and then lightly cover or rake the soil. Keep the soil lightly watered and try to maintain dampness until the seeds begin to sprout.
•     Another variation could be to simply scatter the seeds in an area where this would be acceptable (if need be, ask first!)

Remember together that an act of beauty, whether a flower garden or a kindness shown, can spread far beyond what our eyes can see.

A Miss Rumphius garden is just one opportunity to show love to others and thankfulness to the Creator who has so richly blessed us with the ability to create and enjoy beauty.

How do you draw your children into the process and journey of adding something beautiful to the earth? How has that brought you and they to a deeper understanding of God the Creator and our role in creation?

As you and your children tend your Miss Rumphius Garden take opportunity to remind them (and yourself) of the great responsibility that we have been given as stewards of this beautiful world.

Marissa Froese

While learning to live a simple farming life in rural Nova Scotia, Marissa finds home wherever her beloved, Dan and three darling daughters are. She writes about her journey of life as a wife, mother, woman, novice farmer, homemaker, & Christ follower at Becoming Kindred.

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Post by contributor, Marissa.

When we moved across the country to a tiny community in rural Nova Scotia, we bought our seven and a half acres with a big old duplex farm house without having seen it other than a video and pictures.

With grand – if slightly vague – dreams of our own cow and chickens, we packed up our girls and our dog Molly and headed off to our farming dream.

It’s been almost two years now and I’d like to say we are wiser and have successfully established our small family farm.

But, my friends, success and/or wisdom are still yet to be discovered in our ten year plan. Alright, so we don’t actually have a ten year plan but if we did that would be written in. We do have our chickens and our milk cow, along with an unexpected pony and we have certainly learned a few things along the way.

Beth has asked me if I could share a little about our “homesteading” life from time to time and so I thought I would start out what has been the most important and at times most challenging dynamic of this new life that we are carving out here; how we do all of this with our children.

We don’t ever plan to make our main living off of farming but we do intend to get to the place where we grow most of our own food with enough extra to trade with those who raise what we don’t. My husband also works full time with his own business and so it is a constant juggling act of using the time that we have in a day well. Our kids are still small (4,3 & 16 months) and need pretty constant attention so we are continually working on ways to make this all work.

Because this lifestyle takes so much time, we are intentional about including our kids in the work.

As most of us with small children know, everything takes a great deal longer when you have one, two, three or more keeping you company.

Sometimes it feels like my day would just go so much faster if I could just run out to care for the animals myself and while that does happen at times, I also know that we all benefit for the time that we spend together caring for our animals.

I hope that our kids will grow up with many memories of the hours they have spent fencing with their daddy or pulling weeds with their mama while sharing their thoughts, dreams and stories.

As the kids are out and about on the farm, it’s been really important to teach them how to interact safely with farm life.

It’s one thing to have a few cute little hens that lay your breakfast eggs; they are pretty harmless. But, once you begin including larger farm animals, it becomes very important that your children have some basic rules of conduct around animals. The point isn’t to instill fear but to ensure a healthy respect for the animals that are much larger than they.

At this point, our girls understand they may not enter any pens unless we are with them. Gradually as we work with our animals, they are learning appropriate handling and the importance of calm voices and movements.

There are also essential details such as always closing the gate, putting tools away (we need to work on this ourselves) and keeping the animal pens neat and the girls are learning as we go.

I love that our little farm offers endless opportunities for learning.

Because we will be homeschooling, I’m becoming more mindful of the education available through our daily activities. Eggs are counted as they are collected and placed in cartons for selling. Grain is measured for feeding (Always supervised at this point as too much can be dangerous). Planting the garden offers an entire Biology unit as we learn the relationship of the seeds to the produce that we eat.

I’ve been realizing too that it’s so important to explain things to your children. While I often tend to forget explanations, I find that it sparks interest if I explain why something is important or how something helps an animal. Also as the girls get older and take more responsibility of animals it will help them in their care of the animals.

Some days, when six a.m. comes far too soon, this little homesteading life that we have chosen seems like way too much work. There are times when the last thing that I feel like doing is trudging out into the rain and muck to milk a cow and I’ve been putting off the big chicken coop clean for a few weeks now.

However, when we actually stop and take a minute to think about our life here, we realize that while it is demanding, it is also a lot of fun.

We can and do have fun while farming together and with our children.

Sometimes we do have step back and make a choice to change our attitudes but truly, there are few things that I could think of that are as pleasure-filled as a beautifully sunny, crisp-aired morning spent feeding animals, collecting eggs, and tending the garden; together, with my family.

I love hearing my children laugh with delight. I love that my hands and feet have a constant stain of soil during the summer. I can honestly say that our decision to start this little farm was a good one and it has given me a deeper appreciation for my family, this world that we live in, and life as whole.

Have you ever dreamed of farming or is it something that you are getting into now? What are some things that you’d like to know or advice that you would share?

We love visitors so if you ever have a desire to have a farming vacation, we’d welcome you for a visit!

Marissa Froese

While learning to live a simple farming life in rural Nova Scotia, Marissa finds home wherever her beloved, Dan and three darling daughters are. She writes about her journey of life as a wife, mother, woman, novice farmer, homemaker, & Christ follower at Becoming Kindred.

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There is a sweet little trick I discovered a few years ago. I don’t remember where I first learned it. Somewhere in internet land, I’m sure. It’s a brilliant idea that carries magical powers to increase the excitement over healthy snacks by at least 74.3 percent. Minimum. It’s true – I’ve tested it. The secret? It’s called a Snack Tray, and here is the complicated magical potion:

Step 1) Get a muffin tin out of your cupboard.

Step 2) Fill it with a variety of healthy snack foods.

Step 3) Present it to your children

Step 4) Go prepare your acceptance speech for your Mother-of-the-Year award.

Sounds tough, eh? Don’t worry, I have confidence in you. I have confidence in sunshine, I have confidence in rain. I have confidence that spring will come again! BESIDES WHAT YOU SEE I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MEEEEEEE! (<—name that movie).

Whew, this idea really inspires me with excitement, can you tell?

Honestly though – I am not exaggerating when I say that my kids *literally* cheer when I mention A Snack Tray. They are 74.3 percent more likely to eat everything in it than if I served it on a regular ol’ plate. I don’t pretend to understand it. Sometimes you just gotta believe in the magic.

I’ve done a ginormous variety of Snack Tray fillers over the years. Here are our usual favourites:

• Banana, apple, orange, kiwi, grapes, melon…
• Nuts (cashews are the fave around here)
• Dried fruit
• Crackers & cheese
• Air-popped popcorn (with butter and sea salt, of course)
• Carrot sticks (my kids actually love raw carrots – they eat them every day)
• Cucumber slices, cherry tomatoes, sugar snap peas
• Ants on a log (PB & raisins on celery sticks)
• Small hunks of cold cooked meat
• Jerky (we made our own once before and it was amaaaaazing)
• Hummus (beside the crackers)
• Berries, frozen or fresh
• Frozen peas (my weird kids love ‘em!)
• Hard-boiled eggs cut into halves

It can get pretty darn creative, but to be honest our snack trays most often consist of a quarter or a half filled with popcorn, and the rest with fruits and veggies. If I have cold cooked meat (meatballs, chicken breast, deli meat, etc), I’ll throw that in too, since I like to have lots of protein and healthy fats in our diet as much as possible.

PS. A decently filled snack tray TOTALLY can count as lunch. Just sayin’.

What would you put in your snack tray?

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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It’s no surprise that when you commit to preparing healthier food for your family, you also commit to spending at least a little more time in the kitchen. And if you’re following this series on Raising Healthy Families, you’re probably doing it with kids.

Stephani from The Cheapskate Cook is no stranger to making dinner with a toddler clinging to her shin. However, over the years she’s learned a few simple but intentional ways to take the fight out of kids versus kitchens, and she tells all in her post, Peace on Purpose: Managing Kids & Cooking. Click on over to check it out!

This is part of the Raising Healthy Families Series; for more info, click here.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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The day is drawing to a close. Dinnertime is finished, cute little tooshes have been scrubbed clean in the bath, story-time is over, and even One-More-Story-Pleeeease-time is done. Time to snuggle and get into cozy beds when all of a sudden you hear it: a low growl, or heavy breathing. Those darn monsters in the closet again!

For my four-year-old, it’s either monsters, lions, or giants. They come every night, and they’re usually hiding out in the dresser drawers. We dutifully shoe them away every time, but the pesky things just keep coming back.

It can be so difficult to know the best way to deal with these sorts of things as a parent. Do we play in to the imaginative aspect? Do we flat-out deny the possibility? Do we try to just brush it off as being ridiculous?

My husband and I have a range of inner reactions when dealing with these bedtime fears in our preschooler (and now the toddler, who is learning from her older brother!). It can be frustrating when he just won’t listen to “reason”, and it is heart-wrenching to know that your child is experiencing scary feelings that you cannot take away as easily as you used to. In these times, empathy and understanding are your best and most important tools.

It is so much easier to be compassionate when we have a clear understanding of the issue. While there are a few things that can exacerbate the problem (life events and transitions, scary images in his media intake), it is important to remember that nighttime fears are a perfectly normal part of a child’s development. In fact, they are indicative of a healthy cognitive understanding of the world.

Yes, it’s true that there are scary things in the world. It’s also true that mommy and daddy aren’t the all-powerful beings that he believed them to be in his toddlerhood. This is a normal part of growing in understanding as he gets older, but it can be unsettling for him. He is in previously uncharted territory, and is understandably nervous. He is also just learning to separate the real world from his imagination, which is why simply telling him that monsters do not exist is not an effective strategy.

Your job in all of this is to help him to feel safe and secure while also acknowledging and validating his emotional needs. Simple enough, right? Not always! Here are a few ideas of how to accomplish this.

image source

1) Monster-Away Spray

Fill a spray bottle with water and add a few drops of lavender* essential oil (enough to make it smell mildly of lavender – around 5-10 drops). Use permanent marker to make a “label” (or design one on the computer, print it out, and tape it on if you’re the crafty type). Mine says “also repels lions and giants” at the bottom because those are my four-year-old’s current nighttime fears. Each night at bedtime when he says he’s scared use the spray. You can use it preventatively (“this spray will make the monsters scared to come around!”) or reactively (“this spray makes the monsters run away because they’re afraid of getting wet!”), depending on your child’s needs.

* Lavender essential oil has a natural soothing and calming effect.

2) Offer a Protector Role

Parents often try to use stuffed animals or dolls as comfort for their scared child, but sometimes it’s just not enough. A researcher at a Tel Aviv university who conducted a study on childhood fears recommends using what he calls a “Huggy Puppy”.

“…children are presented with a stuffed dog and told that the once happy puppy is now sad. They are given the responsibility of being the puppy’s friend, caring for him, and ensuring that he is not afraid at night. Because this intervention depends on the child’s willingness to believe the puppy’s story and embrace their new compassionate role, it works best for children with stronger imaginations…” (source)

 3) Enter the Narrative

Don’t say “Oh my goodness, you’re right, these monsters are terrifying!” Instead, join the narrative in order to steer it in a different direction. “How about Daddy gathers up all of the monsters and throws them in the trash for the trash collector to take away? They’ll try and escape, but they can’t, because they’re all stuck together and dizzy from rolling around in the trash can, so they just look silly!” A little bit of silliness is helpful – the laughter will help release some of those tensions, and your child will feel empowered knowing that you understand “the situation” and have it under control.

4) Role-Playing

In Playful Parenting, Dr. Lawrence J. Cohen talks about play as one of the most basic and effective tools for great parenting. I am reading this book right now and absolutely love it. In one part, he says this when talking about play fighting:

“I like to play bad guys or monsters who are just a little bit scary, but also kind of funny, bumbling, and incompetent, so children can use play to overcome their fears. If the bad guys or monsters are too scary, the play just increases children’s fear.”

Find that fine balance between acknowledging the fear and allowing your child’s imagination to work out a solution (ie. they aren’t really that scary after all because they’re so funny, etc), and you’re well on your way.

5) Things to Avoid

Things that may make the problem worse include forcing a child to stay alone in his room alone when scared, punishing or bribing, or forcing your child to “face his fears” in a way that makes him uncomfortable. These things will likely just harm your connection to your child, and make him feel even more fearful because he now has to deal with the fear on his own. Things to avoid saying:

• You’re a big kid/don’t be a baby.
• There’s no need to be scared.
• There’s no such thing as monsters, don’t be ridiculous.

Further reading from around the web:

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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(FYI: I have a serious compulsion to use a beautiful sparkly Christmas-tree-bokeh photo on every single post related to Christmas. I refrained this time. You’re welcome.)

Without a doubt stockings were my favourite part of Christmas morning.

My siblings and I would wake up super early and wait not-so-patiently in our rooms until the agreed-upon time (usually 7, I think – such cruel torture! and yes, I’m absolutely doing the same to my kids when they’re a bit older). Then we’d bound out of bed and wake our parents, who groggily told us to go to the living room and get our stockings (but DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE!).

We’d haul them back to our parents’ room, and all five of us (plus the cat) would tear into them with gusto and excitement. One year I got a cassette tape of Michael W. Smith’s “The  First Decade”, and oh how I loved that album (“You don’t have to, you don’t have to, you don’t have to be picture perfect!”). I always felt an extra amount of awe when I got something “big” in my stocking like the year I got my first sportswatch (with indiglo! score!).

Little did I know, as that scrawny red-haired girl with boundless energy and exuberance for life, that I’d be even more excited about buying and stuffing stockings for my own kids one day.

If I had fun, my parents must have been having a total ball. Buying things that you know will delight your children is SO MUCH FUN! Of course, being a natural-minded, simple-lifestylin’ mama, I am careful not to go overboard in the buying of cheap junk, and instead try to pick items that I know they will love and use for a long time.

Christmas is just 5 days away, but I’m willing to bet that some of you haven’t quite finished your shopping. If you are in that boat, then perhaps you can gain an idea or two from below.

For the four-year-old (boy), we got the following:

• Colouring book and a new box of crayons
• A sheet of stickers, transportation-themed
• Small bottle of white glue for crafts
• Small snack-sized bag of gluten-free pretzels
• A “big-boy” (non-sippy) Klean Kanteen in red, his favourite colour
• A real wristwatch (digital) that was just $9
• Blue “floppy friend” – you push underneath the base and he collapses, then stands up again when you let go
• A package of craft feathers
• A blank wooden door hanger to decorate for his & sister’s bedroom
• Pomegranate & bamboo goat’s milk soap (sounds like an odd choice for a 4-year-old boy, but he loves playing with soap in the bathtub)
• A mini-flashlight
• 5 mini tubes of glitter glue (a new love)
• 2 juice boxes of pure apple juice (we only drink water at home normally)

For the two-year-old (girl), we got the following:

• Colouring book and a new box of crayons
• Sticker album & stickers
• Fuzzy socks
• 5 mini tubes of glitter glue
• A mini-flashlight
• A package of pink underwear (by request)
• Hair elastics with bows
• 4 Hairbands with bows
• Green “floppy friend” like her brothers (see above)
• A little-girl-sized necklace with blue butterfly beads
• A cute long-sleeved peasant top that I found at the dollar store
• A “big-girl” (non-sippy) Klean Kanteen in pink, her favourite colour
• 2 juice boxes of pure apple juice
• one bottle of “Piggy Paint” – a non-toxic nail polish

For the 6-month-old baby (boy), we got the following:

• 2 little wooden toy cars, handcrafted in Prince Edward Island, bought last summer
• A 3-pack of new socks
• Christmas bib with a snowman that says “Just chillin’”
• A board book called “You are My I Love You”
• A wooden pull-along bunny, handcrafted in PEI, bought last summer

In addition to stockings, we got the older two kids a board game to share (Hungry Hippos). We also got them each a new book, and a doll. Yes… we got our son a doll (his name is Walter). Intrigued? Worried? Scandalized? A post on that coming soon…

We also got one box of non-HFCS candy canes to share (bought at Whole Foods). These are a definite treat!

We didn’t get Canaan (the baby) anything in addition to the stocking. My rule of thumb is that you don’t need a ton of gifts until you’re old enough to open them (assuming you have two older siblings and already have everything you need, plus extended family to “spoil” you too). Also – we’re kinda broke… so keeping it simple was perfect all around.

What is the thing you are most excited about giving your kids this Christmas? For me, it’s definitely the dolls – I know they will be so loved.

What are your kids getting this year?

Don’t forget to enter the giveaway for a $50 Target gift card! Contest ends Sunday night, so get your name in the hat now!

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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I used to think that when I became a mother I would be in control of my mothering-life.

I’d be in control of my kids, of my temper, of my laundry. I’d be the organized mom, y’all (how hard could it be?). I’d be the patient one, the one with crafty activities and delightfully playful discipline that my children would respond to without hesitation.

Last night I put the kids to bed by myself again.

My husband’s job demands his time at random and unpredictable hours. He is a flight instructor, and since he flies small airplanes (4-seaters, generally) and is teaching students who are just learning to fly, he is at the mercy of the weather.

I often don’t know if he will be home for dinner that night until 3pm or so, and I certainly cannot predict what the days ahead will be like. This is the case six days out of the week – he books flights as much as possible those days so he has the greatest chance of making enough income to pay the bills (he only gets paid when he flies, plus a little for ground briefings).

Right now, his students are working on their night ratings. It gets dark from about 5pm onward at this time of year, so while I’m bouncing the fussy 5-month-old in the Ergo on my chest and accepting “help” from the 2 and 4-year-olds in making gluten-free pancakes from scratch, tapioca starch goes poof all over the counter and my laptop.

I frantically blow it off the “asdf” keys whilst watching my last shreds of patience wearing thin and slipping through my fingers, melting like butter in the sizzling cast-iron pan, heating on the stove.

It was a slow falling, beginning earlier in the day. Heck, it began the night I woke up with raging heartburn in my first pregnancy and wondered what in God’s name I’d done to myself.

(My death began that night. A slow dying to selfish self. Stinking, gritty inward-gazing self. I had kept up appearances well, and still do, but now that I’ve been provided with three separate-human-being mirrors that reflect me back to myself, I can see a little more clearly.)

I breathe. In and out. In and out.

Motherhood is my calling. Motherhood is my mission. Motherhood is harder than my pre-kid self could have possibly conceived. The dirty nature of my self-centered humanity comes to a gory and terrible clash of metal scraping metal and wrestling of natures as I nearly lose it on a sticky-faced toddler staring me down, decidedly her own person separate from the one who birthed her.

Here, life goes to slow-motion and the battle commences. Usually I am too tired, too rushed to notice. To even see that I am under attack, that I battle with my own self instead of the perceived pint-sized target.

Aghhhhhhhhh! I beat my chest with tarzan-esque gutteral frustration and the epic battle comes to a head. I choose now, right now. Another moment of cosmic significance, and here times stands still for a few seconds. In the midst of my strangled and primal cry I am thrashed about and slayed down in my surrender. Bleeding and defeated, I have chosen other, died to self. Gasping for breath, I have just barely managed to thrown off Anger and Impatience and I stand up naked and weak and heaving for breath, dripping with the sweat of effort, glory hallelujah to the Christ in me.

The Imago Dei in me rises above the fray and I am grateful. I’ve won a tiny battle that is but one of billions more and it seems like nothing but it is everything and I can’t breathe for the gratefulness that winds its way into my heart and nearly crushes me in the glowing aftermath.

No time for glorying in my victory now though, little teeth need brushed and poopy diapers changed and wet bath-time eyelashes admired. And the girl-child is gearing up for another round with her (perfectly appropriate) childishness.

I have come to a certain conclusion, and it is this: that in this motherhood gig, I am doing a terrible job. Except for when I am dying. I die to selfishness and I glory in selflessness and it’s all a glorious mystery of Christ in me and over me and through me. One moment’s victory is worth a hundred thousand more battles and worth dancing for and I sing and sway and stretch my arms out and weep, thankful for the One who rescues me from myself.

I am a mother.

I am a good mother.

Breathe. Breathe. Patience. Breathe.

Later when bellies are full and jammies are on and sleep is in sight, I sit right where we are in the hallway, and read Little Blue Truck while wiping drool from the teething baby’s chin. I announce that it’s bedtime, they tumble into my bed while I sit in the chair and nurse the baby in the dark.

They giggle and roll over and announce in very loud whispers that they are “firsty” and need a “dwink”, then the firstborn needs to pee, and the baby is distracted and I lose my shiz.

Sighs and whispered yelling give way to arghhhghh and STOP IT RIGHT NOW AND BE QUIET and finally I stop, I pause, I sigh. I deflate like a pinpricked balloon, and I begin to die again.

Another minute, another battle. Each time is a teeny-tiny bit easier, and I breathe deep, more oxygen into this heaving chest that beats with this wretchedly gory love.

I am a good mother.

I carry on in this glorious mystery.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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(This is my monthly post over at Frugal Granola)

Now that Thanksgiving is officially over, there’s really no excuse to tone down the Christmas talk. Yippee! (says the Christmas-enthusiast-who-started-listening-to-Christmas-music-in-October).

Handmade gifts have enjoyed a resurgence of popularity in the last few years, and there is a never-ending supply of ideas out there, starting (of course) with Pinterest. For the majority, handmade usually equals frugal and green, which is music to my ears!

Following are five of my favourite homemade gift ideas that anyone will love, and the best part is that you can totally let your littles help you out.

A kid-friendly project + Christmas shopping done = total score!

1. DIY Decorated Dinnerware

These are all over the internet, but I haven’t seen any cute kid-scribble designs. I think it would be a pretty adorable gift for parents or grandparents.

Click on over to Frugal Granola to check out the rest of the article!

(Number four is my personal favourite, tied with number one!)

Are you making any handmade gifts this year? How’s your gift-buying going? I’m pretty close to being done! I don’t think I’ll quite make my deadline, but I’m close, which is a huge improvement over previous years!

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Four years ago I was a newly minted mama.

I had a 2-month-old baby, and a stack of soft, never-pooped-on cloth diapers arranged neatly in my change table drawer. I had done all the research while I was pregnant – hours upon hours of reading and searching for every last cloth diapering article I could find. I was armed and loaded with my top three reasons for cloth diapering (health, frugality, and eco-consciousness).

And also? I was terrified.

Of what, I’m not entirely sure. But for whatever reason it took me until my baby was about 3 months old before I snapped that first diaper onto his cute little bottom. Of course, it was way easier than I expected, and I quickly fell in love with the fluffy diaper bum look.

Fast forward to present-day, and I’ve birthed three babies in four years. That first little babe potty trained the day after his third birthday, but the second and third are both currently in diapers.

Now, for anyone who has ever had a breastfed baby (or maybe this applies to a formula-fed baby too, though I can’t say for sure), this is fairly obvious:

Babies poop a lot.

It’s their spiritual gift, I think. No word of a lie: a significant portion of my day is spent dealing with diapers – changing them, lugging them down to the laundry room, washing them, stuffing/folding them, repeat, repeat, repeat…

(Thanks to my smart mom, I no longer fold my cloth wipes – I throw ‘em in a basket on the back of the toilet. Yes, I used to fold them… yes, it was a big waste of time!)

So, here’s where I have a confession for you. Because sometimes? A mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do. In these last few months of adjusting to three kids (including a cross-country move and living out of suitcases for 2 months), we’ve been a part-time cloth diaper family at best.

We’ve used disposables far more often than I care to admit to myself, let alone the world. We’ve often done them for nighttime, because our babies are heavy wetters and poor sleepers, and we just didn’t need one.more.thing to steal precious sleep at night. But lately cloth has just been hit or miss in general.

- Dirty diaper bag getting too full and I didn’t make time to wash them today? Disposables tomorrow.

- Sitting on the floor to change a diaper and don’t feel  like getting up, walking upstairs to get a cloth diaper, and coming back down? Grab a disposable.

- Want to change diapers less often today due to feeling lazy, overwhelmed, tired, etc? Slap a disposable on that cute bum and pray a prayer of protection from the nasty chemicals and yuckyness in them.

- Going out for the day and don’t have enough clean diapers to take along, or feel like lugging a huge extra bag with the necessary fluff plus accessories? (wet bag, wipes, wipe solution, etc). Just bring disposables.

Yup. Chalk it up to laziness. And overwhelm-ed-ness. And more laziness. And a tiny little bit of Totally Justified. (I mean, I’m the woman who went camping at 38 weeks pregnant and cloth-diapered the toddler for two days in the woods while tenting. Anytime I need to feel better about myself I just remember that story.)

But the thing is I still feel guilty.

It seems that anytime we veer from our mommy-ideals, it is generally accompanied with a generous side-helping of mommy-guilt.

It makes me wonder what I’m striving for here – a perfect execution of my ideals and plans? Or a minute-by-minute conceding to the grace that is woven throughout our days like a thread?

This grace-thread is whispering to me that I’m still an amazing mama even if I don’t meet all of my mothering goals and aspirations. It sounds a bit trite, but you know what? I struggle with letting that really sink down deep into my bones.

Right now, as my kiddos are asleep in their beds in disposable diapers (and one in big-boy underoos – hooray!), I know that I am ok with it. I am loved, life will go on, and tomorrow I have a load of dirty diaper laundry to do.

I am a part-time cloth diaper slacker, and these are my confessions. 

{What are yours?}

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Confession: I’ve been on the fence for years now about Halloween. On the one hand the glorification of evil really bothered me, and I hate the nasty corn syrup and food dye laced throughout my kids’ loots bags. On the other hand I loved the fun of dressing up, knocking on neighbour’s doors (how often do we actually do that in this day and age?) and the exhilaration of getting treats.

Desiring to make an intentional and informed choice, I’ve been thinking and praying for several years now about how we will respond to Halloween as a family.

Halloween’s Origins

Trick-or-treating, dressing up, carving pumpkins. Some say it has its roots in pagan practices. Others claim the exact opposite. What’s true? Is it even relevant to our modern-day participation?

Despite the disagreement, everyone can agree that the day after Halloween (November 1st) is All Saint’s Day. A day to celebrate the union of the saints with Christ. Kinda like a President’s Day or Remembrance Day where we remember many different people at once. According to this source (a fascinating article) the word Halloween comes from All Hallow’s Eve, with the word ‘hallow’ meaning ‘holy’ or ‘saint’. Thus, it is simply the eve of All Saint’s Day.

Halloween As Celebration of Victory in Christ

The concept explained by the article linked above is enlightening.

On October 31, the demonic realm tries one last time to achieve victory, but is banished by the joy of the Kingdom. What is the means by which the demonic realm is vanquished? In a word: mockery.

The one thing that Satan hates more than anything else is to be ridiculed. As Christians we can do this because we know that he has lost the battle already. Dressing up as a devil or a ghost while laughing and knowing it’s all a big joke is the best form of mockery. By doing so we say to the demonic realm that we have no fear because we serve the victorious Jesus Christ who conquered even death! It is no longer to be feared!

This is a totally new perspective on Halloween for me, and I must say: I love it. It resonates so strongly with my beliefs and my desire to acknowledge that THIS is the day that the Lord has made, my urge to NOT hide out in my basement, afraid of the evil forces.

What About the Non-Christian Version of Halloween?

I totally get that most people these days are not participating in Halloween as a celebration of Christ’s victory over evil. They revel in the creepiness and gore and evil overtones without a thought as to why. There may be some customs that have less than stellar roots and past uses. Yet as another fantastic article reasons:

Yes, it has a weird history (so did I before Jesus). Yes, it’s mostly about buying stuff (like everything in America). But for most ordinary people it’s just a silly holiday where kids have fun and we satirize things that normally make us uncomfortable. American culture doesn’t have any real answer for death or demonic forces. So, Halloween is just one attempt to cope with those fears.

This really makes sense. If you believe that Halloween is a celebration of Christ’s victory (as I do) and that people don’t really understand the true meaning (most don’t), then you are in good company. It seems to me the same thing happens at another very important holiday. The one involving fat guys in red suits and lots and lots of shopping.

Yes, Jesus’ birthday has been sacrificed on the altar of consumerism by so many, and yet we don’t give up on it. We redeem it. We call it what it is, and we celebrate the Truth. A celebration of the incarnation of Hope, Joy, Love, and Peace. He has come, he has been victorious, and we can celebrate His grace and glory and power for ALL of our days!

So What Does This Look Like, Practically Speaking?

This year we dressed the kids up and had a lot of fun doing it. We did it kind of last minute due to the last-minute evolving of these convictions, but we jumped in anyway. Our kids are still little (4, 2, and baby) so we kept it minimal. We trick-or-treated on our street then drove 2 minutes to trick or treat at Grammy and Grandpa’s house.

The worst house that we saw in terms of gore and yuck was my parents’ neighbours. The bloody skulls and severed hands and everything else was a bit much for me. Next year we’ll just avoid that house, and when they’re old enough to notice or care then we’ll talk about it.

We had perfect opportunity all day to have some deep conversation with the four-year-old. I gave a basic explanation of death and evil, and how Satan is a bad guy, but we don’t have to be afraid of him because Jesus beat him already. Jesus is the winner and we’re on his team! The conversation will deepen as the years go by, but for now this is a great way to introduce the concept of principalities and powers to your children.

The worst part of Halloween, in my opinion, is the candy. I know, I know… harmless fun, no? But really – that stuff is nasty. The ingredients in those things? Mostly unheard of and unpronounceable, high fructose corn syrup solids, artificial colourings that have been linked to behavioural issues in kids, and loads of highly processed sugar in all forms.

A few ideas to deal with this:

• Eat a few treats the night of and throw/give the rest away.
• Do a trade-in for a new toy the next day.
• Host a costume party for a few friends with homemade (waaaay healthier but still yummy!) indulgences, and also hand out candy to the neighbour kids that come to the door.
• Go around to the neighbours handing out homemade hot chocolate mix, then come back for your own party with homemade treats.

I know one thing for sure: I missed out on pumpkin carving this year, but I’m already looking forward to Halloween 2013. But I think it will have to settle for being my second-favorite holiday… 

Do You Participate in Halloween?

PS. Happy All-Saints Day!

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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I can barely hear it sometimes. The noise of living drowns it out and I forget.

I have a voice.

The little people that surround me with their lively exuberance and clanging of pots and chattering of distractions take me from it, but my voice sings and hopes and beats with a heart-cry for the genuine. The real, gritty, and true.

I can see it; it is found here. In the midst of dirty dishes, dirty diapers, dirty most-things-in-my-house… it is here. My voice and my heart and my soul.

I now know.

I have a voice.

*

Linked up with Lisa-Jo (who I met tonight at Allume!) at Gypsy Mama, for a live version of Five Minute Friday, on the word-prompt voice”.

(Edited to Add: This was featured the next week as Lisa-Jo’s Featured FMF post on her blog! A great honour!)

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Canaan is almost 4 months old and dangit, “they” were right (aren’t they always?) – the time does fly away with or without my permission.

We had a dear sweet friend take some photos for us when Canaan was still just days old, and I forgot to share them here! I was cleaning out my inbox tonight and found the link, and if for nothing else I decided to post it here so that my Nana and Grandpa can see them (I don’t want to get in trouble).

Birthing three kiddos in less than four years is obviously a good idea when they’re this cute… I figure it’s pretty well our obligation to the world.

You’re welcome, world.

More photos HERE. 

PS: really, REALLY glad I cut my hair. Oy vey. The damaged frizz was just not kind. Not at all. As if being a red-head wasn’t traumatic enough (really people, stop staring!), I had frizz. It was like those scalloped carrots you get in the frozen veggie mix. Not pretty. Cut hair = a service to humanity. Again, you’re welcome.

PSS: the bottom line is my family is the bomb (are the kids still saying that?) and I treasure these photos no matter what my frizzy hair looks like, because they don’t care.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Sorry about all the silence. You may have noticed that I totally flaked out on my 31 day series. In some ways, it’s totally killing me that I’ve let myself down by failing to meet my goal. In other ways it’s a total relief. I wanted to write and explain why I stopped posting, but I seem to have melted into a puddle of quiet, the words won’t come, they can’t come, they aren’t there.

(deep sigh. pause. a sip of water.)

My kids are creeping around the living room roaring with blankets on their heads calling themselves monsters. They have bed-head, they’ve eaten their breakfast already (I cooked eggs without getting grumpy: small victories, people), and they take my breath away with their cuteness, right here in the flesh, how lucky am I?? I can hardly believe I have a “good sleeper” (currently napping), even when he’s not sleeping well for him it’s better than the older two’s best nights as babies. And praise Jesus for coffee. I like it and the feeling’s mutual. I’m a happier person when coffee starts my day, and that just can’t not be a blessing straight from heaven.

I guess, what I’m trying to say, is that I’ve been busy living. I’ve been reading my Bible every morning and journalling my thoughts and prayers with it and easing into a habit gingerly and with trepidation and trembling. The scent of failure is fresh in my nose as I recall the bajillion times before that I’ve attempted to acquire this habit and failed miserably, but I feel like it’s different this time somehow. Why? Because I want it to be.

My life is slowly rounding out and becoming more 3-dimensional than ever before and I am on holy ground here, shoes off, this meeting of God and housewife. Bed-headed woman with morning coffee breath and my spirit caught in my throat as I read words like “my times are in your hands”, “the Lord blesses his people with peace”, “The Lord is my shepherd, I LACK NOTHING”, “my eyes are ever on the Lord”…

These words hit me down low and deep and I catch myself marvelling and the laughter bubbles up as I realize: I believe it. I really do. I believe those words beyond a cerebral understanding, I feel them in my guts and I love them, I love Him. I can’t tell you how much because I haven’t yet reached the extent of it.

It’s beautiful, this life and those words and these image-bearers of Christ, imago dei, that surround me in these four walls along with the messy evidence of a life lived in a gritty and technicoloured world. The dirty dishes and sibling fights, learning forgiveness and the aching bones and warm hurried showers and the prayers and grumblings and clamourings and all of it, all of it cries out in praise.

It’s all joy, the real kind, and it’s all here and now and straight-up in my face and I can’t turn away at all and what I’m learning right now is that I don’t want to.

***

(31 Days Series on hold indefinitely… thanks for understanding)

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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I hemmed and hawed and I agonized over whether or not to participate in the 31 Days Challenge this year. Let’s go through the list, shall we?

I’ve got three kids (4, 2, and 3 months). My husband, kids, and I are living with my parents temporarily because we moved across the country a month ago. Honey just started a new job last week after being unemployed for a month (praise the Lord, he got a job in his field as a flight instructor!). We are still essentially living out of suitcases, and are moving to a new place next week for six months.

Oh, and, I think I’m having a mid-motherhood crisis. It’s not exactly a midlife crisis. At least I hope not – I do plan to live well past 58 but I digress. I just mean that I’m doing lots of deep thinking lately about what kind of mother I want to be and what kind of mother I actually am… and how I can make the gap a little smaller.

So here’s what this next month will look like…

Each day (or thereabouts…) I plan to post some reflections on things like keeping priorities straight as a mother of littles and a blogger, and why it’s so difficult, and how I’m making some slow changes in our days to make that happen.

I shall be “un-blogging”, if you will. Blogging about not obsessing about blogging… make sense?

This blog is one of the great passions of my life. Expressing myself through the written word is a rich satisfaction for me, whether it’s a cerebral discussion of the ethics of breastfeeding, a post about upcycled baby sweater pants, or a emotive middle-of-the-night musing on motherhood. I love it all.

It’s no secret that I desire to grow my blog. And it’s actually slowly growing (glory to God), and I am constantly amazed…

But it’s not the number one priority in my life. It never will be.

Other than God (proper evangelical disclaimer for ya’ll), my number one priority is my family.

But, I’m sorry to confess to you that I don’t always keep those priorities very straight. In fact, truth be told I muddle them all around quite a bit. I need to take a minute (or 31 days…) and get my head in order. 

I want to establish a predictable rhythm to our days at home. I want to get in shape by dripping sweat while I work out, and spend hours in the kitchen creating nourishing art. I want to brainstorm with my husband some ideas for intentionally discipling our children. I want to sit, quiet and still, sipping coffee and watching them play. Seeing them with eyes wide open and being present in a full and real way.

I want to look at the whites of their eyes and see their souls.

Not that I don’t already do that… but I want to do it more. I want to breathe and organize and return order to this wild season of transition for our little family.

I want to remove some of the pressure of constantly being “on” for blogging. I was going to do 31 Days of Living Naturally on a Budget. I have the posts all brainstormed and the first half a dozen all outlined. But it would have been too much – on me, on my family. And it would have been not enough – for you. It would not have been my best writing, and I finally concluded that I can’t do it.

Hence, un-blogging.

Do you have distractions in your life (blogging or otherwise) that keep you from being the best mother (or whatever your job is) you can be?

Want to embark with me on a journey of focusing on the right things?

Let’s do it.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Dear little one,

You are just 3 months old. A whisper, really, and it was just yesterday that I birthed you in the dim candle-lit room with loud bellowing and moaning. You gave me a hard time in your entrance to the world, but you were a breeze from then on. A good sleeper, unlike your older siblings when they were babes.

Tonight I sit in the big recliner in the living room with darkness all around and the light of the computer screen. You have your first cold and you can’t breathe when I lay you down. Oh how heart-wrenching it is to hear you try to breathe and swallow, knowing just how horrid a head cold feels (your mama despises them). You cough and snort and choke and flail your head around my chest as you struggle. The house is silent and listening to your adorable-if-they-weren’t-so-sad snores.

So you’ve been in my arms since around 7pm. I have a touch of heartburn due to the fact that I had bread at every meal today (scandalous, since we try to avoid most grains in general, let alone store-bread), and supper was take-out pizza. On the side I have an generous helping of mom-guilt. Should I be avoiding gluten? dairy? soy? civilization at large? Did I not wash my hands enough? too much? What if I’d gotten him more sun and vitamin D? Maybe it’s my fault. It’s probably my fault. Isn’t it always the mom’s fault?

I tried to sleep in the chair while holding you, with my pillow and blanket and the whole shebang, but my mind wasn’t cooperating and my body craved horizontal, so I gave up and decided to write to you. Here we sit together, typing awkwardly with your wee little warm body snuggled up over top of my heart.

I kiss your head and know that you are slightly feverish without needing to fiddle with a thermometer. I should know – I kiss that head at least hourly, probably more. It’s a touch warmer than usual, and I’m guessing 99.4 or so.

You won’t even settle in your swing, and so while you make squeaking and whimpering noises in the dark, I run to go pee, grab a glass of water, and a slice of cold pizza, because I’m hungry and I should be sleeping right now and my body is confused. I secretly hope that you will stop squeaking so I can lay down on the couch and sleep, but the squeaks turn to whimpers and pitiful cries and so I scoop you up and kiss your warm forehead until you do that quivering breath thing that you do right before the deeper sleep comes.

I’ve heard that these days fly by and they grow so quickly and to cherish it all. I believe it (though I wouldn’t mind if these sick days passed just a little bit faster). I must be accustomed to chronic sleep deprivation, because I survived today on only a few hours of sleep, and I’m sure I can do it again tomorrow. The sexy pilot-man that brought me a grande starbucks cappuccino on his way home from work today sure did help.

You, dear soul, are a gift. If only the world knew just how soft you are. How I kiss your eyebrows and cheeks and ears and wonder if this isn’t the very pinnacle of all of the good things in the world that God created. If only they knew, they’d be willing to stay up all night holding you too.

I don’t mind so very much sweetheart, and when you’re 15 and reading this letter and wondering if I really truly love you (because I’m kind of afraid that I’m going to suck at raising teenagers), just know this: you are worth it because you are loved.

Fiercely, irrevocably, and completely. I love you right down to your guts and I’ll never ever stop.

Now, let’s wake up that Daddy of yours. It’s time for a shift change.

Forever,

Mama

image source

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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After I published 14 Ways to Connect With Your Child, a reader asked me to share my favourite parenting books. Coincidentally, this exact post was already in the works from a recent brainstorming session. Great minds think alike, I guess!

I don’t actually read a whole ton of parenting books. I have good intentions. Sometimes I even order them only to sit for an embarrassingly long time untouched. I wish I read (a real book made out of paper) more often, but I think the internet may be a giant conspiracy to turn all of our brains to mush, which has turned my main leisure into screen-time instead.

Me and the internet. It’s a love-hate relationship. It’s also a total rabbit trail, so I’ll try to focus here (thanks a lot, internet, for wrecking my attention span. I’m like a puppy. Or a goldfish.)

So anyway… I have a few book recommendations to share, as well as my favourite websites.

A Few Books:

Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (I wrote a post on my own spirited child after reading this book.)

Loving Our Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk (I just absolutely love this book. The first half especially was just revolutionary for me in developing my parenting philosophy in relation to my theology.)

Ames & Ilg’s Your 4-Year-Old, etc. (A fantastic series – each book is one year of life, ie 3-year-old, 4-year-old, etc – on child development from a psychological perspective. This stuff is amazingly accurate and helpful in understanding the normal stages and characteristics of each age group. Slightly dated language because it was written several decades ago, but immensely helpful nonetheless)

Websites:

(FYI: many of these sites are excellent to follow on facebook as well – lots of great articles, links, and discussions!)

Aha Parenting (This is my absolute favourite – the articles are brilliant)

Dulce de Leche (A great blog written by a mama with so much wisdom)

Peaceful Parent Institute (Called the Way of the Peaceful Parent on Facebook)

Gentle Christian Mothers (A message board with a great diversity of theological backgrounds, all with the common goal of parenting gently)

Peaceful Parenting (A more outspoken site with tons of controversial views. I happen to agree with most things on there, so I reference it here for your perusal as well. Tons of fantastic research on the tougher subjects like sleep training, spanking, circumcision, etc)

***

So I think that about covers it for today… a little light reading for your Friday evening, right? (OK, confession, I honestly love spending hours reading up on this stuff… I may be weird, but I am 100% ok with that!)

What are your favourite parenting resources?

(Linked up with The Parent ‘Hood)

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Going out in public these days is officially a circus.

Not because my children knock over $700 10-feet-tall stuffed giraffes in the toy store, narrowly missing the cashier’s head amidst her proclamation of seeing her life flash before her eyes (true story). Not because my children are little and cute, sporting things like pint-sized polo shirts and bouncy pigtails and little pink flip-flops, and strangers can’t help but smile at them (also true). And not because my children act like, well, children… at times when I wish they’d just stay still and quiet for two seconds (definitely true).

No, going out in public is officially a circus because I happen to have three children. They could be running around Starbucks like little tasmanian devils shooting nerf guns at the baristas’ heads (hasn’t happened yet, fingers crossed that it stays that way…) or they could be sitting angelically and adorably in the double stroller + ergo (which they did today). It wouldn’t matter – I’d get the eyes bugging out of heads and lots of wow/yikes/oh my! every time.

In the last two days I’ve been told no less than four times that “Wow! You have your hands full!” and have been referred to as a “group” (so we qualify for a group rate, then? excellent…). It usually starts with someone asking how old the baby is, then it spirals downward into how old the others are (especially when I phrase it as 3 kids 3 and under), how busy I must be (pshh, not at all…), and how brave I am (I have a feeling this may be code for crazy, yes?).

I just wanna know one thing: since when is three kids “a lot of kids“? 

Answer: Since the 1960′s, I guess.

The fertility rate in our country fell below replacement in the mid-1970′s. That’s 2.1 kids per woman. We’ve been having less than 2.1 babies per woman for over four decades now. Having 7+ children hasn’t been in fashion since the 1870′s and prior, so sometimes I breezily tack on a “yup, and we’re hoping to have more!” just for the sheer fun of seeing people’s faces contort in awkward ways.

I also sometimes cheerily chirp something along the lines of “But I can’t imagine anything more fulfilling to do with my days!” in the hopes of perhaps redeeming a tiny bit of society’s stereotype of the harried, stressed, and burdened mother who sludges through her days with desperation and nothing even close to resembling satisfaction and happiness. It’s true - I can’t imagine anything more fulfilling. This, however, usually only serves to gain me more crazy-eyes and incredulous looks.

Having “lots” of kids and being truly happy in the midst of it is just not a common thing anymore. I get that. It just makes me kinda sad.

My days may be busy and my hands may be full, but let me tell you something…

It’s the best circus I’ve ever seen.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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