“It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has.” - Henry Ward Beecher

Honey and I have been ebbing toward a minimalistic and simple lifestyle for years now. We are coming up on our tenth wedding anniversary in the spring. I can look back on the last decade and see the slow evolution of our ideals and values in this area: every time we’ve moved (8x!) I start packing and wonder “why the heck do I even own this?!”

We believe in having less so that we can live more. We choose to have less stuff in our house – less to clean, less to organize, less to sort through and eventually sell at a yard sale, or worse – send to the landfill. We choose to resist the consumeristic addiction of our culture.

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” - Socrates

In early July we made a decision to pack up and move back to our home province approximately 3,600 kilometres away. We’d  been living in Tiny Town on the Canadian prairies for 2.5 years, and the time had come to uproot again.

Pack, toss, or sell?

It was the question of the summer in our house.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” - Leonardo da Vinci

Stuff takes time. That what it boils down to for me. We’ve created a stuff-focused culture in which we shop, we consume, we sort, we organize, we clean, we de-clutter, we replace, we curate, and we collect. All of this distracts from breathe-deep-joy and real-life-living.

There are just 24 hours in a day, no matter who you are or what you do. How many of those hours are spent on things that do not add to the richness and depth of your living? Each of our answers will be different, but it is a worthy question to ponder against the backdrop of your own unique story.

This is how I plan to get rich: Find contentment in my present circumstances (even when it’s tough). Fine-tune my heart to be kind, generous, loving, and full of grace and humility. Spend time in self-improvement through relationship with my Maker.

It’s the only get-rich-quick scheme that works.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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As I revel in these special days of newborn love and cuddles, I have a few guest posts lined up to share with you. This first one is from Kelly @ Imperfect Homemaking. Please welcome her and her fabulous natural cleaning knowledge!

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When I got married six and a half years ago, I honestly didn’t care what was in my cleaning products.   We lived in an old apartment full of character and cobwebs, and I considered bleach my new best friend.  When I began having children I began to think twice about the products in our home.  Surely the things we breathe and come into contact with on a daily basis would affect our health, right?  I bought things with words like “organic” and “natural” and “pure” on the labels, but I was fairly certain I was being sold a lie (and, at least some of the time, I was).

And then my son was born sensitive to just about anything unnatural and we began switching full force to safe, non-toxic everything.  I am so glad we did.

My new rule of thumb is that my cleaning products shouldn’t be more dangerous than the problem I am trying to solve.  So I may use bleach to kill mold, but I won’t use it to make my white’s whiter.  Here is how I clean my whole house without nasty chemicals.

All Purpose cleaner:   Most things can be cleaned with a bucket full of warm water with either a squirt of a good, safe, non-toxic dish soap or a splash of vinegar.  Either of these solutions are great for cleaning cabinets and walls, the inside of your refrigerator, and nearly any hard household surface that just needs a gentle cleaning.

Windows: I clean windows with a spray bottle full of vinegar diluted half and half with water.

Mini Blinds: Clean vinyl mini-blinds with a natural dish soap and some vinegar.  I’ve shared before how exactly I do this on my own blog.  You can read that here.

Floors:  I mop my tile and laminate floors by adding a big splash of vinegar and a few drops of a favourite essential oil to a bucket of warm water.  The vinegar smell will disappear as your floors dry.  I promise your house won’t smell vinegary when you’re done!

Wood:  Sealed wood can be polished with a soft cloth with a tiny bit of vinegar and olive oil on it.

Mattresses and upholstered furniture:  To freshen your mattress or sofa, put some baking soda into a cheese shaker (or a mason jar with holes nailed into the lid) and add a few drops of a favourite essential oil (lavender will encourage good sleep, tea tree oil will deter bugs!) and sprinkle the mixture onto your mattress or sofa and leave it for an hour or so before vacuuming the solution up.

Sinks:  I have an article on my own blog about how I clean and shine my sink naturally using vinegar, baking soda, and olive oil.  You can read that here.  If you have a dishwasher, I also have step by step directions on how to clean that.

Drains:    To remove smells from stinky drains, sprinkle some baking soda down a stinky drain and follow with a couple cups of warm vinegar (you can kill two birds with one stone by doing this with the hot vinegar created by cleaning your microwave or kettle as detailed below)

Microwave: Put 1 cup of vinegar in a glass microwaveable bowl and microwave it on high until it’s boiling and has covered the walls of the microwave in vinegary condensation (this takes about 5 minutes in mine).  Let sit 3 minutes. Carefully remove the bowl of vinegar.  With a cloth or paper towel, wipe the surfaces clean.  This is so easy and it works really really well.

Kettle: To descale your kettle, put enough vinegar in it to cover the lime scale and mineral deposits.   Boil the vinegar in the kettle, and then rinse the kettle well.

Heavy Duty Cleaner for cooked on stove top gunk and any other hard to clean messes:  Mix some baking soda in a small bowl with enough hydrogen peroxide to make a paste.  Use a scrubby sponge to scrub the mess away.  If you have sensitive skin you may want to wear rubber gloves.  Try this on rust stains, soap scum and dirty grout lines.

Oven:  Oven cleaner was the last cleaner I eliminated and the one I was most uncomfortable using in my home.  I kept trying homemade solutions, discovering they didn’t work, and then going out and buying the can of spray on oven cleaner that works wonders but left me nervous to let my children breathe the air in our home!

The best natural oven cleaner I’ve found is Shaklee’s Scour Off. It works noticeably better than any of the homemade solutions I’ve tried.  If you’d prefer a homemade cleaner, the Heavy Duty Cleaner listed above works pretty well with a generous dose of elbow grease.

Toilets:  What I liked about commercial toilet cleaners was the special bottle design that allowed me to get the cleaner right up under the rim of the bowl!  You can accomplish this by putting straight vinegar in a regular spray bottle with the nozzle set to stream instead of mist.  Squirt the vinegar right up under the rim where you need it and then scrub the bowl with a toilet brush as usual and flush.

Disinfectant:  Tea tree oil, sometimes called melaleuca oil, has antibacterial qualities.   I place some in a spray bottle filled with water when I feel the need to disinfect something.  It also deters head lice, so I actually spray my children’s hair with this same solution when we leave for church on Sunday mornings!

Keep in mind that tea tree oil is toxic when swallowed. While I consider it reasonably safe to use around the house, you do want to keep it away from curious little hands!  I suppose that goes for all home cleaning supplies, natural or not!

I love knowing that the products that come through the door to our home are safe and friendly and that the air we breathe is clean.

Happy Cleaning!

***

Kelly lives in rural Ontario Canada with her husband, their five (soon to be six!) kids, and a small brood of far-too-friendly backyard chickens.  She blogs about cooking, cleaning and crafting at www.imperfecthomemaking.com.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Dear Middle-Class America: Guess what? I make my own chicken stock.

I even blogged about it. I buy organic, free-range chicken carcasses to make it with, and that’s pretty well the extent of what I am able to afford from our organic/grass-fed/free-range/humane meat supplier as of late. Yup, we eat a LOT of soup, brown rice, and lentils.

You see, I am a stay-at-home mom. I’m due to give birth to our third beautiful babe any day now, actually. My husband is a new flight instructor and makes approximately minimum wage when his paid vs non-paid hours are all averaged out. We are also slowly paying off significant debt from his flight training costs which finished last summer.

The bottom line? We’re poor.

Honestly, I hate to use that word to describe our situation because it is often used glibly to detract from the harsh realities of third-world poverty, but please know that I mean it only speaking relative to my own culture, and not on a global scale. I am grateful that we are not dying from starvation or lack of shelter, but yes we do have trouble making ends meet every month.

We have been struggling financially ever since two and a half years ago when we quit our (ie. hubby’s) job and moved halfway across the country so that he could pursue his dream career of aviation. It’s been worth it, yes, and it’s been difficult. The last few months have been the roughest so far, and I’ve been desperately avoiding talking about it on my blog because to be perfectly honest – our family and closest friends read my blog, and I know that they will probably either freak out and admonish us for not asking for help, or else just pity us, and I don’t know which is worse. (For the record, living this way is hard, but we are so grateful that God has provided for us and blessed us in so many ways, and don’t regret our choices).

We’ve visited the local food bank twice in the last couple of years (Separate but related rant? The total and complete crap that is handed out at food banks). Once was less than a month ago. I have stood in my kitchen crying into my husband’s shoulder because my stomach was rumbling, grocery money was depleted until the next payday, and I was so damn tired of struggling to figure out something appetizing to make from the random things left in my pantry and fridge. I’ve scrimped and saved and watched sales and planned and packed food for our day trips to the city. I’ve tried dozens of new recipes for beans and lentils. I’ve felt guilty for the cheese I give my kids as an easy snack because $10 for a block of cheese is very expensive when it gets used up in a week. Same with nuts, fruit, and any other nutrient-dense or protein-rich unprocessed snack.

To be totally honest, I’m not completely perfect in my planning and spending habits (who is??), but you can be damned sure that I’m trying my very best to feed my family healthy and nutritious food with as little money as possible.

That is why when I read comments like these ones in response to the question “How do you respond to the idea that organic food is too expensive?”… I get just a *little* fired up. (For starters? For some people it’s not “an idea”, it’s a fact).

The vast majority of the comments left on that status are condescending, sanctimonious, ignorant, and presumptuous, and if I had any stronger words, I’d use them.

Here are some of the comments and my responses to them:

Many, many people snarkily noted that they’d respond by saying that “cancer costs more, duh”, or some variation thereof. Whether you’re talking about actual medical bills (which is not the same for me, living in Canada) or cost of losing your life – the point is the same.

I’d like to address this by saying: of course I know that cancer sucks. Do you think I want cancer? Or any other host of diet-related illnesses? Of course not. Even if I were American and had to pay for medical bills – I can’t very well go cash in on my doctor’s bills from 20 years in the future and use the money instead to buy all-organic food now. Even if I didn’t have medical bills in the future because I’m Canadian, that doesn’t help me afford to buy organic RIGHT NOW. Some people literally don’t have the luxury of choosing to pay more now in order to potentially save significantly in the far-off future. Also? Not all cancer is caused by an unhealthy diet. I believe it can definitely play a part, but to say that it’s a direct cause and effect thing is extremely ignorant and, I’m sure, offensive to those who try to eat as healthy as possible and still end up with cancer or other illness.

The trite bit about ‘cancer costs more’ aside – the presumptuousness of the other comments really made me angry. The general consensus was that those who claim that organic food is too expensive are:

- Uneducated and uninformed (I actually consider myself extremely informed when it comes to nutrition, which is why I feel such sorrow at not being able to provide my family with a nutritionally optimal diet that is low in empty carbohydrates and high in protein and healthy fats, all from grass-fed, organic, fresh ingredients. You could say it’s a sore spot… so assuming that I’m just uneducated is extremely insensitive).

- Making poor shopping choices (I agonize over each and every item that goes into my cart at the grocery store. I do the best I can with what I have, and have a very few things that I won’t compromise on, like always buying real butter over margarine, or eating eggs for breakfast instead of cheap cereal. I buy hardly anything processed at all except for some condiments – I make my own salad dressing and sauces  - and occasionally some rice crackers for cheap snacks on the road to avoid eating out. I also buy almost nothing that is a convenience food – if I can do it myself, I do. I don’t buy pre-shredded lettuce or cheese, etc).

- Eating processed crap that costs more and doesn’t provide any nutrition (This is just a totally ignorant thing to assume. Just because I say that organic food is too expensive for us does not mean that I am buying all processed junk. The vast majority of our diet consists of homemade bone broth soups, legumes and rice, frozen veggies, local-bought farm eggs that are only slightly more expensive than the grocery store, and the occasional ground beef meal at supper time. We snack on fruit or cheese when we can afford it, boiled eggs, homemade yogurt, raw almonds, and fresh farmer’s market veggies which are a “sometimes” treat in the summer. I simply don’t buy things like kraft dinner and boxed cookies, so please stop assuming that I can just cut those out and buy organic apples instead).

- Choosing to spend money instead on “beer and smart phone bills, going to movies, having cable, concerts, expensive cars, regular starbucks trips, eating out weekly, fast food, bottled water, soda, and processed foods, going to the movies weekly, getting your nails done every month, fancy new clothes, fancy designer coffee and a jumbo bag of cheetos…” (Yes, those were all mentioned specifically. As it happens, not a single one of them applies to us. We have cut our budget down in every way we can think of – we recently sold hubby’s smartphone in order to save $40/monthly, we don’t have a TV, and we live in a cheap rental that is enough but nothing fancy. We drive a used mini-van, wear old clothes with holes in them and haven’t bought new shoes in about five years other than the ones we got at Christmas. My son needs new sneakers and doesn’t have any summer PJ’s that fit, and we’ve carefully saved up $100 for a trip to a local children’s second-hand store in order to get those things. We don’t drink anything but water and home-brewed kombucha at home, and our definition of a splurge is a $1.70 fancy tea when we’re in the city for my midwife appointment, and even then, we share!).

- Simply not planning well enough (If I planned any more carefully for the times we are out and in need of food, my head might just explode. We bring an entire bag of packed snacks/meals when we go to the city for the day, and sometimes it’s still not enough. Sometimes I haven’t had the time or energy to make granola bars from scratch, and the kids have eaten all we brought and are simply still hungry with a few hours to go before we head home. It’s not as simple as you might assume).

- Choosing to not make their health a priority (This one really irks me. I think my points above are all related to this one. Sometimes choice is a luxury that only the middle/upper class can enjoy).

- Not sacrificing enough (I think I’ve adequately covered this one. Let’s just say this is one of the most pompous and self-righteous things I’ve ever heard).

- Not already eating from scratch (As mentioned already – we do more than almost everyone we know in this department, and we’re still struggling).

- Not creative enough (How creative is a meal of brown rice and dried black beans, soaked and cooked with some dented cans of diced tomatoes from the food bank, some spices, cheese, and steamed carrots on the side with homemade honey-sweetened yogurt for dessert? What other creative brilliance am I missing? Please, enlighten me…)

- Unaware of how to cook legumes, rice, and healthy grains (sorry, not true in the slightest…)

- Unaware that the answer lies in simply growing your own food (I agree that gardening is a great idea and can potentially save some people a lot of money… but we’ve moved 3 times in the last two years in a poor-soil area with a cold climate and very short growing season. I’m also 40 weeks pregnant, and it’s June. Suddenly, gardening doesn’t appear to be our perfect solution…)

- Not already saving money in other household areas (Don’t bother with this one – we already make our own cleaners, buy very little cosmetic and body care items, use cloth diapers, don’t buy paper towels ever… I could go on…)

***

To quote several of the particularly condescending commenters: “it can be expensive if you are not willing to put time into cooking from scratch…but if you fail to plan you plan to fail!” … “it’s never too expensive if people care about their health” … “no valid excuse” … “you can’t say it’s too expensive, I really believe anyone can do it you just have to make it a priority.”

***

I want to acknowledge that these comments may indeed be applicable for some people. Some people do have messed up priorities (read: different than yours…), are uneducated about nutrition, and don’t know how or have time to make many things from scratch that would ease the costs… BUT…

Let’s not assume that all folks who say they cannot afford organic food are stupid, lazy, and making bad choices, lest you find yourself one day in the position of having to choose between eating Chef Boyardee and Oreos* from the food bank or going hungry…

Instead, when someone says that they cannot afford to eat organic, I would suggest a healthy dose of compassion and gentle offerings to help, getting to actually know the person and their situation, and perhaps even dropping off a bag of that farmer’s market organic produce that you find so easy to come by.

***

Dear Middle Class America: A little less condescension and little more understanding would probably do us all a world of good. Please don’t make me want to throw my homemade yogurt in your face because it’s my kids’ favourite snack and milk costs a lot of money.

Sincerely and with respect,

Beth

* We did in fact receive Chef Boyardee and Oreos in our pre-made boxes of stuff from the food bank (we had almost zero choice about what to take) but passed it on to some young students down the street that willingly took it. We kept things like canned tomatoes and tuna, and the $50 voucher for produce at the grocery store that got us through to the next pay day.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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“”No man can live without joy” is what Thomas Aquinas wrote. And I confess, it is true, I have known many dead waiting to die”.[i]

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Here I sit, fireside, in a leather chair, sipping my Starbucks. I haven’t seen my husband or children in 24 hours. I’ve interacted only with total strangers, a silent hotel room, a cab driver, and the wait staff at the hotel restaurant.

That gift-giving big heart of a man booked me this night away with belly swollen and just weeks from its time to give birth. I envisioned relaxation and hours upon hours to myself to finally catch up. To finally get a chance to do what I never seem to have time for (whatever that may be).

Since the time he dropped me off yesterday, my mind has been spinning and whirling and not quite sure where to stop. In truth, this little getaway has been strangely difficult. A wrestling, of sorts.

I confess, I spent most of my time yesterday just flitting around from one thing to another. I went on facebook, I watched at least an hour of natural birth videos on youtube, I downloaded Uno onto my ipod and never played it. I read a book, some posts from my google reader, had dinner by myself, and flipped through TV channels mindlessly until I had the sense to just turn it off altogether. I sat in that king-sized bed surrounded by mounds of white fluffy pillows, wearing just my hubby’s t-shirt (At 37 weeks pregnant? Yeah.) until I fell asleep knowing I wasn’t going to be wakened by anything other than the little one dancing on my bladder.

*

In these mothering-the-little-years-life I often find myself thinking that if only I just had more time to myself, more hours in a day, more focus on my own wants and needs, then I could be a better mother, a better wife. More organized, less behind on everything. I was certain that I would be more patient, wiser, and happier. A veritable trifecta of Mrs. Brady, Martha Stewart, and Mother Theresa.

My days are ever hemmed in by a load of darks and load of whites and a load of colors. The towels and linens, the dirty diapers, and by the time all is washed (sometimes twice when left overnight accidentally), dried, folded, and put away, the hamper is overflowing again and the work is never ever done. When is there time for me sit and relax? To get my daily dose of joy and fulfillment by finally catering to myself after a day of servanthood?

I’ve never been away before with solely my own self for company. I felt the need to pretend. To act like it was all old hat to me. “I’m not just a housewife that spends her days within four walls with (almost) 3 children aged 3 and under, wiping boogers and bums, sweeping crumbs from the eternally-dirty dining room floor” I wanted to shout. I am important! I am more than that! Heaven forbid anyone scoffingly see through my stylish maternity cropped trench coat and cute bag to know that all I am is a mere servant with raisins and baby wipes at the bottom of my purse: the antithesis of vogue sophistication.

In truth my insides were screaming at me to notice. To wake up and realize that more me-time is not the answer. “How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it!” wrote G.K. Chesterton, and I see the truth in this. I am not ashamed of my servant-status, my resumé of changing diapers and soothing babies to sleep and sharing in the delight of a puddle-splashing preschooler.

The self is small and I am glad and my heart burns with the knowledge that I am exactly what I need to be to fully receive joy.

As I wrestled with my own soul and my expectations for this time away, I found myself humbled by my temptation to pretend. I’m not a savvy business traveler, nor a career woman with a company credit card. I can try to play that part, but my fumbling fingers as I reach first for the cab’s front door then clumsily change my mind and switch to the back door likely gave me away (as did my basketball-sized abdomen).

I don’t know proper cab etiquette and I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m not in control of this wild and unnoticed life.

If I seek peace and joy by fulfilling myself and my own ambitions I will not find it. Not in a million nights of hotel getaways, and not in unrestricted free time to myself. It is not in the fancy champagne brunch (champagne-less for the swollen-bellied), nor the designer coffee beverage that I slowly sip, uninterrupted. The American Dream (Mother’s Edition) of housekeeper, cook, and nanny cannot offer it either.

It turns out that moments of peace and quiet, away from the daily grind do not bring true peace if one is running away. Peace must be found in the very life that is lived and breathed, not the moments in between.

I sit here with myself for company, and I realize this. I did not leave in order to get away. I came in order to step back and renew my perspective. To see with fresh eyes the joy that awaits when I walk back in that front door and back into the daily grind.

This was not a getaway, it was a coming-to, and I see the joy that is present in my mundane and precious life within those four sacred walls. In the midst of snotty-nosed kiddos that whine and breakdown on the kitchen floor because I wouldn’t let them push their chairs up too close to the stove while I stand with aching back and tired feet and the endless cycle of meal-making for my beautiful babies and husband. There is joy in that life and I whisper my thanks to the Gift-Giver for these beautiful gifts.

I’ll see them again in just a few hours with smiles wide and hugs and kisses freely given. I’ll inwardly gasp for breath in gratitude as I haul my toddler up on my hip with belly large, and I’ll choose joy, and I will know:

I’m just living the dream, baby. Living the dream.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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{Average Sized Homes Around the World}

Source: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/average-home-sizes-around-the-151738

I recently came across this graph depicting the average home size from countries around the world, and it intrigued me. (Although Canada is not represented on the chart, I would imagine that we are more or less on par with the Americans). Many of the comments on that article critique the way the numbers are depicted, but the fact remains – Americans are infamous for their extra-large sized homes as compared to the rest of the world, and to the homes in previous generations.

In an NPR article entitled “Behind the Ever-Expanding American Dream House”, we read that “the average American house size has more than doubled since the 1950s; it now stands at 2,349 square feet. Whether it’s a McMansion in a wealthy neighborhood, or a bigger, cheaper house in the exurbs, the move toward ever large homes has been accelerating for years. Consider: Back in the 1950s and ’60s, people thought it was normal for a family to have one bathroom, or for two or three growing boys to share a bedroom. Well-off people summered in tiny beach cottages on Cape Cod or off the coast of California. Now, many of those cottages have been replaced with bigger houses. Six-room apartments in cities like New York or Chicago have been combined, because upper-middle-class people now think a six-room apartment is too small. Is it wealth? Is it greed? Or are there more subtle things going on?”

***

Our own family has been on quite the living space journey, and it hasn’t been steadily increasing, as our culture would have us believe is ideal. We started out our married life in a basement bachelor apartment. One room that contained our “bedroom” (which we divided off by hanging a white sheet), a “living room”, and the kitchen/dining area, plus a bathroom. In my mind that place is filled with memories of our first year of marriage (the hard and the euphoric and all the bits in between). I loved setting up my first home and was just happy to have my own space, no matter the size. We then moved on to several other living spaces over the years (our ninth anniversary is next month), mostly in the small apartment size range. One place was an apartment above a double garage, which rivalled our bachelor suite in size. When we had our first baby we lived in a sort of rundown 2-bedroom townhouse that was like a mansion in our eyes. We had two floors AND a basement!

Then two years ago we moved to the other side of the country to Tiny Town, and settled in to a cute little 3-bedroom house with no basement. It was quite cozy but perfect, with more than enough space if we were honest. Then 5 months later found us unexpectedly moving again, this time to the only thing available on short notice, which was a 4000-square foot home with four bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. It had two tiny separate apartments rented out which took our living space down to a “paltry” 3000-square feet or so (!!!). We were given a really great deal because the landlady was also a believer and wanted tenants she could trust. I realize that lots of people in our culture actually live in a house that size and think nothing of it, but to us it was totally crazy.

Facing an unaffordable rent increase five months ago found us moving (our third home in two years here in Tiny Town!) into the house in which we currently live. It’s WAY smaller, but still more than adequate for our needs. When we moved lots of people thought we were crazy to give up that big house, and lots of people just didn’t understand why we’d want to, but in actual fact I LOVE this smaller house so much more.

While I enjoyed many aspects of the ginormous house (no end of storage space, more than enough kitchen cupboard and counter space, lots of space for the kids to run and play in the biggest living room I’ve ever seen, a huge walk-in closet and private bath in the master bedroom…), in the end it was just… too much.

Too much to clean, too much to organize. Too much space in between souls – when you can sit 30 feet away from each other and still be in the same room. Too much work to trek from one end to the other to put away laundry. Too much to clean. Too separated from my babies by the heavy door to the upstairs that didn’t let me hear their cries that first evening in the house (we got baby monitors!). Oh, and did I mention that it was way too much to clean? It took nearly half an hour just to vacuum the living room and dining room area, including plugging in the vacuum in several different places because the cord wasn’t long enough to reach.

And yes, I felt a little embarrassed every we’d have someone new over and we’d watch their jaw drop when they saw the size of the main living area. I felt the need to justify, to explain that we didn’t pay all that much in rent, and it was a pretty good deal, etc. etc. “Don’t think I’m shallow or snobby!” I wanted to beg. It turns out that my embarrassment revealed a tendency in my own heart to wrongly judge others living in lavishly large homes. I was afraid that others would judge me in that same fashion, and I realized how immature and wrong that had been.

***

Fast forward to present day and this subject has been on my mind constantly as we think about our future, which will hopefully include owning our own home at some point. We live here in Tiny Town but long to move closer to family, and as we think about how to accomplish this it inevitably comes down to our choice of accommodations.

How small can you go?

A two-bedroom apartment is much more affordable than a 3 or 4. As in – hundreds of dollars difference, generally. Is it worth it? Our immediate goals include A) paying off flying debt, B) saving for a down payment, and C) gaining experience and advancing in Chris’s career (and for those that know our story – yes, serving overseas is still a goal as well).

Could we actually live in a 2-bedroom apartment for a period of time with 3 kids and be happy?

Gosh, I sure as heck hope that our happiness is not dependent on how many square feet we happen to occupy. What a crock that we’ve been fed by our culture. Our kids all “need” their own rooms? I hardly think so. We “need” a spacious home so that our kids can spread out their over-abundance of toys and junk they never actually play with? No thanks.

What happened to the notions of real sacrifice and working diligently for your goals?

Could 3 kids share a bedroom? With bunk beds and a single bed? I don’t see why not. Sure there may be some bedtime headaches as they got used to it. The end of the world? I hardly think so.

Can I cook healthy and fabulous meals in a smaller kitchen without the bajillion single-use kitchen gadgets that our culture would have us believe are necessary to my happiness as a housewife? I daresay I can (and do currently!).

Can we reject the notion that family togetherness is not of utmost importance? Yup. Done and done.

We love being together. We love each other. We love life.

I fail to see the problem.

***

What do you think? What kind of space do you live in? What kind of space do you aspire to have?

Would you ever consider living in a (relatively speaking) way small place in order to accomplish certain goals?

***

{Linked up with SortaCrunchy for Your Green Resource!}

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Michele at Frugal Granola has recently released her latest e-book, called “Flourishing Spring: Nourishing Activities for Rainy Days”, and today I am excited that I get to give away a copy to one lucky reader!

I’ve been reading Frugal Granola for a while now, and some of you may also know that I’ve been a monthly contributor since January, which has been a great privilege for me. This book is a fantastic resource full of a great variety of activities and ideas. I love that it has both simple things with an extra dose of inspiration, as well as ideas that are new-to-me altogether.

From the book’s description:

Over 25 ideas for creating intentional moments with children, with multiple variations, allergy-friendly recipes, and simple resources. This 33-page ebook is a compilation of boredom busters, homemade gift ideas, and nourishing meal suggestions for filling a rainy day!

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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A few of my newer readers who have checked out some of my older stuff have found those posts and have asked whatever happened to part three, so I’ve decided to rewrite the posts and publish them again.

***

Can any of us truly say that we are consistently doing the best that we can every single day? I have my doubts. I’ve learned recently that constantly trying to be enough (a good enough wife/mama/homemaker) is not only exhausting, it’s fruitless. There are just so many ways that I fail every single day.

Today we were barely through breakfast and I’d already clenched my fingers together and raised my voice because my toddler babe takes about a billion years to push through each and every tooth and OH.MY.GASH – the insanity. The ceaseless crying and whining murders me. It’s like a ghastly crime scene and the victim lying unceremoniously in a puddle of death is MY MIND.

There was some serious wailing and gnashing of teeth right there on the kitchen floor, and it wasn’t even 9am yet. Daddy was not due to come home for another 7-8 hours, by which point there surely would have been total and utter annihilation of all sanity.

Is this really my life? Trying not to yell at a teething toddler and a three-year-old acting like SUCH a child (sarcasm alert). What part of my childhood sunshiney plans for motherhood included this scenario? Who clued me in to the fact that my job would be a daily repetition of the most mundane and mind-numbing tasks one could imagine? Who warned me that the gritty day-to-day of motherhood would be a constant dying to self and trying to understand and shepherd the irrational minds of several precious creation-gifts from heaven who cannot even wipe their own butts?

This is the point at which I ask God if he’s sure I should remain in this whole mothering gig. Perhaps something went awry in the factory packaging, and I didn’t get a big enough portion of patience or sympathy or keep-it-togetherness.

These words from Kathleen Norris struck me deeply a year ago, and they remain as profound today:

“The fact that none of us can rise so far in status as to remove ourselves from the daily, bodily nature of life on this earth is not usually considered a cause for celebration, but rather the opposite. The daily routines that provide a modicum of discipline in our lives are perceived as a drag, a monotony that can occasion listlessness, apathy, and despair” (K. Norris, The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, and “Women’s Work”).

What if I stopped perceiving my daily mundane as a monotonous drag?

The laundry that never ends, the dirty dishes stacked, the toys scattered and the cluttered closets. The whining toddler, the disobeying preschooler, the constant touching and climbing all over me and never-a-moment’s-peace and why-can’t-I-go-pee-without-an-audience? The errands and grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning and scrubbing and oh yes, breathing and sleeping and sitting once in a while? The dirty boots and mud tracked in the house and crayon on the walls and orphaned lego pieces that I find underfoot.

Can I find peace and contentment in these mundane realities? Or do I have to find it in spite of them? Layered in between the popcorn crumbs and the dismantled couch cushions and the tantrums and the discouragement, there is joy. It’s not a rosy-all-is-well feeling and it’s not a satisfaction that finally I did everything right all day long. Waiting for that kind of a feeling will leave me waiting forever and ever. Instead, I have this crazy idea that if I lean a little deeper into the quotidian realities and the gritty spectrum of humanity that I find there that I will at last find peace. To believe wholeheartedly that this exact mundane moment is full of beauty and heart-pulsing life.

In same work quoted above, Kathleen Norris writes this little bit of wisdom:

“But, like liturgy, the work of cleaning draws much of its meaning and value from repetition, from the fact that it is never completed, but only set aside until the next day. Both liturgy and what is euphemistically termed “domestic work” also have an intense relation with the present moment, a kind of faith in the present that fosters hope and makes life seem possible in the day-to-day.”

My desire, in my role at home (as home-maker – literally: making the home) is to be wholehearted (wholehearted: “undivided commitment or unreserved enthusiasm). I seek joy right smack dab in the middle of the daily grind, not in spite of it. Not during naptime. Not after the kids are finally in bed (though those times are certainly refreshing in their own way). I breathe deep in the reality that lives within our little prairie house and I see it. I really truly see it. And I whisper my thanks.

Every day I create as many messes with my stubborn ungrateful heart as I clean up from my precious and mischievous children. And yet, I am loved. I am growing. I am learning. If I were not a hot mess of humanity all broken and dry and weak, I would not know grace nor would I need a Saviour.

This is my mundane life full of beauty.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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While browsing my Pinterest stream I often come across the best homey-type ideas that are awesome but that are more or less unattainable. Like built-in bunk beds with stairs going up, or cool loft spaces with indoor slides. If I ever get to build my dream home, it’s gonna be pretty dang amazing, that’s for sure.

However, for now (and indefinitely) we are renters. We live in a nice little house that works great for our needs, and we are so blessed to have it. There are tons of positives to outweigh the cracks and holes in the paint, the peeling baseboard, the rough spots on the old outdated cupboards, etc. There’s a basement playroom and a guest room and an office, there are lots of windows, and the amount of space is just right for us. Being renters does come with limitations though. No renovations (unless we wanted to pay for them ourselves, which would be dumb because we don’t plan to live here for more than a year or so). No fancy upgrades. Sometimes it’s easy to get depressed dreaming about all of those awesome house ideas that you can’t have.

So, we get creative.

I’ve seen lots of adorable photos of cozy little book corners (a dedicated cozy space for kids to read in) floating around on Pinterest, and while I loved the idea, I figured it would be too expensive to do properly. Until last weekend, that is, when inspiration struck.

I had the itch to rearrange our living room furniture, which was the catalyst for this whole thing. In our living room is the front door of the house, which we don’t actually use. (We use the back door where our driveway is.) Next to the front door is this weird opening in the wall that appears to have been intended as some sort of closet or coat hook area (although there’s no door on it). I decided to make this little area into our book nook, and with help from the hubby it came together quite effortlessly, all without spending a dime! I especially love that it can all be easily packed up and taken with us the next time we move! Here’s what we did:

:: The Book Nook ::

• The little book shelves are actually spice racks from IKEA, which we had picked up a long time ago (I think they cost around $5 each).

• The light on the wall is one we purchased in our last house to go over the stove because there was no range hood. We hung it sideways to fit better.

• The picture on the wall is a basic black IKEA frame that we already owned, with the awesome quote and patterned paper being from my scrapbooking supplies.

• The cushions on the floor are a random assortment from around the house that weren’t being used, and I added a couple of blankets and the sheepskin.

• And, the sign was hubby’s idea. I wanted to make a sign of some sort, and he suggested that I paint the words on a piece of wood. He went hunting downstairs for a piece of plywood, and came back with this – it’s actually a shelf minus the brackets – from IKEA (the cheapest kind they have – I think it was like $3) that we had bought while in a previous house and weren’t using currently. I freehand drew and painted the letters onto it, and voila! (black smudge on top of the first “o” is courtesy of the three-year-old).

Here’s a few more shots up close…

(Yes, that’s his “i’m-only-smiling-so-that-mom-gets-the-camera-out-of-my-face” look)

***

What about you?

Do you have a special space in your house for your little ones to curl up with a book?

(And if you haven’t already – why not take a second to “like” Red & Honey on Facebook, where I post awesome links and chat with readers!)

***

{Linked up with Jenny @ The Southern Institute…}

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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This poor babe has been pretty miserable since yesterday with all manner of snotty crusty goop, hacking cough, a warm forehead and a grumpy lack of sleep.

As evidenced by this photo, however, sometimes all it takes is a new hairdo and a warm washcloth to wipe away all the crusty snot in order to feel just a little bit better.

I think it’s the same with myself, in these busy mothering-of-littles days. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with it all, and just want to dramatically fall onto the floor and weep with that toddler-like freedom that she fiercely claims as her own. I forget how to shake myself out of my funk and start over and just breathe. Reflecting on this today in between wiping noses and administering saline solution and comforting owies (they’re always worse when you’re sick, you know) and offering the third snack distraction of the morning, I figured perhaps I should be a little better prepared for Those Kinds of Days (including the ones where grouchiness is the only illness to speak of).

So, here is a list of my top five ways to snap out of a funky day. How to press the restart button on a gnarly day. It’s never too late until the day is done, and although it sometimes feel absolutely dramatically hopeless, it’s really truly not. It’s never too late to adjust your attitude, expectations, and heart.

I think I shall print this list out and put it on my fridge. You know, for those times of Dire Straights. Perhaps they could help you too.

5 Ways to Restart a Bad Day

1. Music. The funkier the better. We have a station on Pandora called Jump Around Radio. This morning so far it has played the Fresh Prince of Bellair theme song, the “Everybody Dance Now” song, and that one where the chorus is all “I’ve Got the Power!” (you know the one?). Whatever works for you – maybe lullabies are better for your particular situation. Either way, music has magical powers for mood changing – use wisely (fair warning – if you desire to continue in your wallowing misery – DON’T play that Everybody Dance Now one. Its powers are unexpectedly insidious, and may cause mirth in even the grumpiest of family members. You’re singing it in your head right now, aren’t you?).
2. A little bit of pampering. Is it TMI to admit that sometimes pampering includes changing out of my jammies before 11am? Getting dressed, washing your face with a steaming hot washcloth (ahh, so nice!), brushing your teeth and flossing, doing your hair, putting on earrings, maybe makeup. The whole shebang. I realize that some people do these things every single day, but I know many stay-at-home mamas just don’t get to these things, especially when you’re in survival mode. The same goes for the littles – hair brushing, teeth brushing, and hand lotion (coconut oil) with a little massage are totally soothing to them.
3. Let go of plans for the day. Ask what the pressing need is, and address it. If sitting on the couch and reading stories all day and having pancakes for dinner is what it’s gonna take to avoid Meltdown Mayhem, then just do it. Just do it. Seriously.
4. Treats. If the clinging is at a lull and you have a spare moment, consider making a treat to distract and lift spirits. I remember being sick and having a popsicle working miraculous wonders for my health. While I try to stay away from sugar and artificial colours these days, there are lots of healthy treats that soothe a sad and grumpy spirit. This recipe for homemade chocolate pudding is one of my faves. Sometimes a tea party (with real tea, of course) does wonders. A blanket fort in which to eat the treat and sip the tea is a total bonus.
5. Change of pace! Sometimes on One of Those Days all I feel like doing is crawling into a hole of grumpiness and not emerging until reinforcements arrive (poor Daddy!), but if we make the effort to get out of the house and go somewhere (anywhere, really, provided they aren’t sick and going to infect everyone in a 10-meter-radius) it really helps keep the whining to a minimum, and can make a potentially disastrous day become, dare I say it – enjoyable?

Hpo now I’m off to nurse my grumpy snotty toddler and read some (more) stories. Hoping your day is lovely!

What’s your reset button?

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Since I live in the cold Canadian Prairies, I’ve loved this quote since I first laid eyes on it. This has been a milder than usual winter here in Tiny Town, but we’ve had a recent dumping of fresh sparkling snow, and enough days with sub-zero temperatures to make me long for warm summer days.

The thing about winter here is that it’s kind of like a survivor situation. People band together and commiserate about their housebound days when it’s minus forty, taking twenty minutes to bundle the kids into their snowsuits every.single.time.they.leave.the.house, and how we all just can’t wait for spring. We learn much about ourselves, and our ability to handle less than desirable situations. Some ride out these months with ease, always looking for the joy and gratitude in each situation. Others handle themselves with slightly less grace, finding reason to complain behind every snowy and windy corner. I see a little of each in myself on most days.

But, at the end of the day, I sense a wild and untameable hope poking up. An invincible summer, as it were. I knew this to be true when my honey went away for nine loooooonnnng days to sunny California, leaving me, the kiddos, and my pregnant belly behind in our arctic-ish surroundings, it was certainly a winter of our own. Both literally and figuratively.

My goal was to not just survive, but to thrive. Strangely enough, I did. It was nine days of peaceful interactions, fun planned activities, and more patience than I ever knew I had. I grew as a mama in those days. I learned that when necessary, I can be more of the mom I want to be. Even for my roughest day running on little sleep I found a way to intentionally get through without melting down or checking out (ok, unless you count the two hours of American Idol we watched on the laptop).

It seems that I learned an important lesson in those days: that even in my darkest winter days, the times tempting me to react in an ugly and fleshly way, I still possess that invincible summer within. So often in the rhythm of life and days when Daddy is coming home at supper-time as per usual I find myself tempted to check out mid-afternoon, and just quit trying so hard. He’ll be home soon and can take over when I finally give in to Meltdown Mama, says my subconscious. This is not a helpful way of life, nor does it do anyone any favours. Grumpy mama always begets grumpy children, which always results in one very unenjoyable whirling cycle of grumpiness. When hubby was away and I was the only adult left, I simply could not afford to melt down. I knew what that would lead to, and I was afraid of what could happen with no “back-up” coming my way. So, I picked myself up by my bootstraps and got ‘er done.

The question is: why don’t I do that every day?

Perhaps I could plan to start supper earlier, so that when 4pm hits and the kids are cranky, I can sit down on the floor and play with them. Or maybe making sure to respond to any typical toddler messes (“on purpose” or otherwise) with an extra dose of grace and calm so that I don’t allow the day to escalate into the Grumpy Zone. Or just being sure to have fun things to pass our days, like special art projects, chores or baking that we can do together.

Two young kids and a pregnant belly is my life right now. If I want to be That Mom everyday, and not just as a once-a-year survival effort, then I need to be intentional about it. By this summer I will have birthed three kiddos in less than four years. When I say it like that it seems crazy that I wouldn’t always have my game face on and ready to go. I know that I am capable. How badly do I want it? Well, as they say, the proof is in the pudding. {mmm, pudding…}.

There is an invincible summer in all of us. Shall we set it free?

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Isaac is a 3.5-year-old that loves his trains and cars. He drives them around, making up stories and narratives for hours on end, having a grand time. (“Help! Thomas is stuck in the mud! I’m coming, said Percy, here I am! Pullll! Ughh! You’re free! Let’s go to the station to get a wash-down…”)

I had seen the idea on Pinterest for making masking tape roads on your carpet for the kids to drive cars on. But the idea didn’t quite appeal to me, knowing that I’d have to take all that tape and hard work apart and throw it away eventually. Thus, this little idea was born. Off to the dollar store I went, in search of a cheap shower curtain liner. The shower curtain liners at our “dollar” store were priced at $9.50, so I grabbed this tablecloth liner for $1.50 instead. I taped it down to the dining room floor on the four corners, and drew with a thick black permanent marker a bunch of roads and train tracks, plus a few extras. It’s nothing fancy, artistically speaking, since I had a 19-month-old climbing all over me while drawing. But he loves it.

We added the essentials – a train station, a library, a grocery store, and our house. There are spots for the car to park and for the trains to rest. Plenty of winding roads and a few trees and flowers.

I had hoped to be able to fold it up when they were finished playing, and save it for another day, but it turned out the plastic was too thin and ripped in several places from some of the crazier drivers I plan to find a cheap vinyl shower curtain liner (I’ll get that one I first saw if I have to), and make a more permanent version of the same thing.

Come back and let me know if you make one, and if your kids love it as much as mine do!

Have a happy long weekend (it’s Family Day on Monday for us).

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Pilot Man has been away for a full week now, and still three more days to go (he comes home late Tuesday evening). Today he’s flying one of these, and he’s totally excited about it because it’s apparently a big deal. My goal while he was away was to not just survive, but to really thrive and have a good time with my kiddos. I didn’t want each day to drag and be horrible and stressful. So, we employed a few strategies to make it happen. I was extra-patient and attentive to the kiddos, who ask every day if Daddy’s coming home yet. I planned lots of extra fun stuff in our schedule (I signed them up for swimming lessons on a bit of a whim, and the first one was on Thursday!), and I allowed a few treats that wouldn’t otherwise have happened.

Yesterday, though was “special”. Aliza was up at 4:50am for the day, and I had not gone to bed early enough to deal with that. So, it was a zombie-like-survival day, and while I may not have been very patient, I definitely think we made it through ok, all things considered. I took a few photos to document the passing of the day, and since my brain is still fairly mush-like, I think a photo post is a grand idea.

early (EARLY) morning green smoothie

illegal (I usually avoid caffeine in pregnancy) caffeinated tea + organic dark chocolate...

how could i possibly have had a bad day with this face looking at me all day?

and this silly one, too...

sometimes it's all about just letting go and embracing the chaos...

a (short) library visit passed the time this morning (aliza was not impressed that I wouldn't give her a rice cake while in the library, so we got approximately 1.5 stories read, and took the rest home)

yum. easy snack time.

23 weeks. yup. my babies like their in utero accommodations to be spacious, and I feel I have no choice in the matter.

my hair was getting ridiculously long. i mean, I liked how it looked... but it was a bit of a pain - always getting pulled by the kids, takes forever in the shower to wash, and generally feeling heavy and blah. plus? hello, split ends! so... the hair cutting scissors in our bathroom and I had a little rendezvous...

I think I like it. this isn't my best photo by a long shot (do you know how hard it is to take a picture of your own hair? dude. it's hard). however, i think i'm going to take a few more inches off later today. i'm feeling adventurous, and i do have a habit of making drastic hair changes while pregnant (I've chopped at least 8-10 inches each time, although this is the first time I've done it myself!)... and never regretted it. hurray for refreshing change! (it grows back anyway, what's the big deal?!)

just as i was finishing my hair escapades, there was a knock at the door with a lovely delivery.

dang, he's good

a little bit of a guilty pleasure with American Idol. I haven't seen every season, and right now I'm just catching up on auditions, but so far so good. They're not really showing the nuts much - just a lot of really talented people.

the beauty of the setting sun reminded me of two things - 1) the beauty in each day if we have eyes to see it 2) the hope of a hard day coming to a close and a new one to come.

um yes, I did feed my children french fries and hotdogs for supper. what?! the hogs were nitrate-free, the ketchup was organic, and there were green beans, too! #motheroftheyearawardrighthere

i snuck bites from this little beauty all day long, and finished it before breakfast this morning. it was massive, and usually I share it with my honey, so this was quite the feat. i think i'm done with sweets for a while (give me 24 hours, at least, haha)

So, now it’s Sunday, we’re headed off to church, and we have just two more sleeps ’til we see Daddy (three for the kids because he’ll get in after they’re in bed). Onward and upward!

***

{from the rising of the sun
to the going down of the same
the name of the Lord is to be praised.
praise ye, the Lord,
praise ye, the Lord,
from rising of the sun
to the going down of the same
the name of the Lord is to be praised.}

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Before Christmas, Michele contacted me and asked if I would be a monthly contributor to Frugal Granol in the role of “Family Life Contributer”, starting in January. Frugal Granola is all about “living a simple & sustainable life of passion for God, family, organic food, and bargain shopping”, which is right up my alley. I love talking about this stuff, and so this was a perfect opportunity! I was pretty much floored by the request, but agreed pretty well right away. Today my first article was published, and I am excited to share it with you!

 ***

The weather outside has been dreadfully cold* where I live on the Canadian prairies. All this past week there has been a severe cold front hovering over the prairies, and it has been approximately minus forty (and worse) for about 5 days straight. Needless to say, we’ve been fairly housebound this week!

Because days like this are plentiful around here, I am always looking for good ways to keep the kids (and me!) from getting cabin fever. Here is a list of some of my favorite ideas. There is a good mix of parental hands-on stuff and kids-on-their-own stuff.  I chose items with the toddler/preschooler crowd in mind, but many of these could easily apply to older kids too.

Read the rest & leave me some comment love by clicking HERE…

(For next month’s post I’ll be chatting about something midwife/birth-related, since I’m pregnant with number three and under the care of a midwife for the first time. Anything specific you think I should talk about?).

***

*This post was written over a week ago, and the severe cold is thankfully long gone. Right now we are enjoying a gorgeous chinook and my kids actually played outside for several hours today. Winter’s not done yet though, so I’m just enjoying it while it lasts!

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Amazing Gluten-Free Play-Dough

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup white rice flour
• 1/2 cup corn starch or arrowroot powder
• 1/2 cup refined salt
• 2 teaspoons cream of tartar (you can sub 2 tablespoons baking powder if necessary)
• 1 cup water
• 3 teaspoons cooking oil
• Natural colouring options – I like to use turmeric for a beautiful deep yellow.

The Original Play-Dough

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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The other day I was in a gnarly mood, scolding the kids for breaking the crayons that I gave them to colour with. And since we all know that a grumpy mama begets grumpy children, and it’s all a big fat grumpy cycle of grumpiness, it was not a good scene. Eventually we moved on though, and I tried my darndest not to be annoyed that the brand-new crayons that they got for Christmas are now broken little pieces with the paper torn off and scattered throughout the house.

The next day I was scraping happy face stickers off the kitchen floor which had been strategically placed there for decoration by the three-year-old while the 18-month-old gleefully watched.

“Those darn kids just don’t know how to use these things respectfully. Stickers, crayons, and every time I let him paint he ends up painting himself more than the paper. Maybe I just shouldn’t bother letting them play with anything until they’re at least eight. Maybe ten. Maybe then they’ll play with them “properly”… I thought huffily, as I scraped them up with my fingernails.”

(At this point I’m indignantly picturing papers with adorable little drawings and reasonably-placed stickers, made with care and coloured with non-broken crayons…)

Then a little voice on my shoulder asked if I might try to compare my kids’ playful exploration of stickers and crayons with the way that I stumble around trying to figure out how to use prayer and other tools for spiritual growth.

“um, no,” I said firmly. “It’s obviously a totally different thing…”

Then the little voice whispered this thought: maybe putting an entire sheet of stickers on the floor just for the sheer joy of peeling them off the sheet and sticking them on is just the way I should be thinking about my spiritual life. Maybe breaking crayons and peeling the paper off and scribbling on the play kitchen are their way of discovering and learning about crayons and how they can be used. I’m sure that in a few years’ time they will have stopped those things and started using them more truly, more consistently, and more maturely.

But first, they are children. Acting in childish ways. They are immature and that’s ok. They are learning as I (gently!) guide them.

“And maybe, just maybe there’s a lesson there for you, too,” the voice whispered?

***

A little while later as I reached for my Bible and journal I noticed that my last entry was dated nearly two months ago. Yikes. When will I ever get this thing right? When will I stop being so immature in my disciplines? When will I learn to read and pray and think the way I should? 

And the verse I read was this: “Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.”

Perfecting holiness.

It’s a process, a journey, a destination. In order for something to be perfected it must by nature find its beginnings in imperfection. On my way as I’m learning and growing and fumbling around with scales on my eyes, I’m making a mess of things, breaking crayons and “wasting” happy face stickers like there’s no tomorrow. But I’m trying to get the hang of this stuff. I’m exploring. I’m curious and even playful; I’m determined.

Most of all though, I’m hopeful.

That God can take my broken crayon offerings and lead me to discipleship and the art of perfecting holiness.

One carelessly placed sticker and broken crayon at a time.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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This morning as my kids were playing with play-dough at their little table in the kitchen, they were happily smooshing and rolling to their heart’s content. Then, it would occur to the three-and-a-half-year-old that he really should let his cars and trains join in the fun. He runs downstairs to get them, promptly gets distracted with his train table and other toys, then wanders up half an hour later to play-dough that’s beginning to get crusty and dried out. If I try and put it away while he’s downstairs, he inevitably wanders in seconds later freaking out because HEY-HE-WAS-PLAYING-WITH-THAT-WHY-AM-I-TRYING-TO-RUIN-HIS-LIFE?!

So, crusty play-dough is a constant danger in our house, and I’ve thrown out several batches and had to remake it when it finally crosses the gross-and-crusty line. This morning as I eyed the crusty little bits of dough on and under the table (because my kiddos sure as heck don’t leave it in a nice ball on the table when they abandon ship… there are bits and pieces everywhere, which dry out even faster), and wondered if there was any way to make it soft and smooth again.

Since we make our own gluten-free play-dough instead of store-bought, I can only say for sure that this method works on ours, but I would be seriously surprised if it didn’t work on any kind – regular home-made, store-bought, and gluten-free homemade. I’ve heard of people trying to use a little bit of water or even steam, but I think this method is much more effective.

The secret is… a little bit of glycerin.

I keep a bottle in my cupboard for when I make Royal Icing – the kind of icing that you put on sugar cookie cutouts at Christmas that gets hard and glossy. When you make the icing, it gets crusty quickly, even before you ice all the cookies, and a few drops of glycerin into the bowl will de-crustify it instantly. I’ve been doing this for years now, and didn’t ever use it for anything else.

This morning it occurred to me that if it works to de-crustify icing, then why not play-dough? So I made an indent in my crusty hardening play-dough, poured in maybe half a teaspoon, and worked it into the dough with my hands. (You may have to do some good kneading, depending on how crusty your dough has gotten). Magic. It was like new again! Yeah! So, I share this secret with you in the hopes that we can save the planet and our pocketbooks, one crusty ball of play-dough at a time!

Happy playing!

PS – Because I know someone will eventually ask: you can usually buy glycerin at drugstores (like Shoppers Drug Mart) and craft stores (like Michael’s). It’s not expensive, and goes a long way.

{Linking up today with Your Green Resource at SortaCrunchy}

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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Do you ever feel that your heart is a little bit rumpled and in a state of disarray? Slightly frayed around the edges?

I could have entitled this post “the curse of the idealist”. If you know me at all, you may have guessed that I am a strong idealist. Kamille at Redeeming the Table is somewhat of an expert on the MBTI personality profiles, and she wrote about the INFP type (my type) that “they have a deeper sense of idealism in them than of the other NFs.  In fact, it’s their idealism derived from their strong sense of morality, which makes them believe that the world is an ethical, honorable place.  Their idealism is connected with their ability to be self-sacrificing for someone or something they believe in.  This idealism also leaves them feeling disconnected & alone in the world.”

The quotidian blessing of laundry and cranky children and stressed-out husbands and tight budgets are indeed blessings when viewed through rose-coloured glasses. And yet some days they are simply tiresome, heavy burdens to overcome. Even my own idealism fails me on some days. What shall I do, then? Lean more completely on Christ? Always a fine idea indeed. But perhaps it might be wise to ask of my own part in my own condition. Have I sought the wrong things? Too many good things? Taken on more than I should have and squeezed out the One Thing that really matters most? If I’m being perfectly honest, perhaps a yes of varying degree should be answered to each of these questions.

Last year in the Christmas season I made a goal for myself to have a handmade Christmas. It was perfectly laid out in my head (big picture, of course – executing minute details gives me hives). Handmade jives with who I am so well – my personal values for buying less, embracing my creativity, avoiding thoughtless and impersonal gifts, and being intentional in opting out of the consumer mentality.  I began gathering and ideas and inspiration right away (hello, pinterest!). There are some seriously brilliant homemade gift ideas out there – beyond badly knitted potholders and pictures painted by your kids (though both could be given with heart and soul I’m sure). I won’t list them here just in case I end up going completely against my nature and actually finishing some of these projects that I’ve been eyeing.

In addition to a making all of our Christmas gifts (for a list of nearly thirty family and friends-like-family), I also aspire(d?) to execute one of those creative ideas to observe advent with my children, with a small activity for each day, maybe a small piece of candy (homemade, of course), and a family devotional thought to do each evening at supper-time. I have the perfect retro advent calendar that I thrifted last year, hanging empty on my wall, taunting me with its start date edging closer and closer.

Then there are the photo books. For the past several years I have made a photo book to give to grandparents each year at Christmas, and each year it has expanded and grown until it is now a beautiful record of our family’s life and adventures over the past year. Last year my sister and I collaborated, so that my parents’ grandkids were all included in the same book. I believe it was around 150 pages, which of course means weeks and weeks and a ridiculous amount of late nights with many hours spent editing and perfecting. Not something I am willing to let go.

Oh, and Christmas cards! Good grief! Every single year since we’ve been married (coming up on nine years this spring!) I’ve desperately wanted to send out Christmas cards. I know that it’s an easy “no” for many people. It’s at the bottom of the priority list (or not on it at all), and it’s so often begrudged with a sense of duty, that lately I’ve often heard declarations of skipping the whole dang thing. I have to say though – I love Christmas cards. Growing up we’d have dozens of them, all taped to the front closet door, giving tidings of joy and friends and news from afar, all simply given with love from a greeting and a handwritten address (aren’t those a rare sight in your mailbox these days?!). Perhaps it’s the nostalgia, perhaps it’s the thought that goes into it… whatever it is, I love it. Plus, I already got the family photo printed to tuck inside, so I kinda have to now.

As December draws nearer, and these lofty goals begin to openly mock me, I grow more anxious, more stressed, and more smothered. The wants have become needs in my idealistic mind, and I think… I may just be coming to a place where I can admit… that I can’t do it all. Amidst first trimester pregnancy fatigue, chasing two other monkeys around, and keeping up with a home… not to mention trying to keep up some semblance of a blog (because when I let my writing go, I begin to feel rumpled and frayed and bottled up)… I am still only one person. One person with a tendency to dream and think up all kinds of big ideas that will bless my family and bring satisfaction and joy. A love for Christ expressed in a way fitting for how he created me. All of these things aren’t bad in and of themselves – they are beautiful ways to honour the Christ-child, born in a manger so many years ago.

The problem is, none of these are honouring to Christ if part of the package is for my heart to be all in disarray.

The question is, what do I decide to cut? What do I give up? What dream must I mourn and how many times do I have to bring my head out of the clouds and back to the hard realities of my capabilities and situation?

No perfect answers as of yet. Stay tuned??

{How do you balance all of the things you want to do with the amount of time that you have? Are you an idealist also?}

***

PS. You can find me over at Kelly’s place, The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking, today as well. I guest posted on the subject of Ten Tips for Cooking and Hosting a Stress-Free Turkey Dinner. I would love to hear your own tips in the comments over there!

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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About a month ago, we sold our Ikea Entertainment Unit, our 32″ flat-screen TV, and our Nintendo Wii.

It was an idea we’d thrown around for the last year or two, never really doing anything about it. Finally, when we decided to move across town to a different house, we realized that we were ready to be a TV-free family, once and for all.

Why The Heck Did We Do It?

Don’t get me wrong – we still watch the occasional movie on our laptop (right now we are loving the Harry Potter movies on iTunes: next up is Goblet of Fire), and we’d even stream a TV show if we had anything we particularly wanted to see. Right now there’s nothing currently offered on television that we see as being worth spending our precious few hours of free time in the evenings. There are a couple of shows that I could get into if I tried, I’m sure, but I’m just not convinced that it’s a healthy way to spend my time – for my spiritual life, my marriage, my creative projects that get neglected, and so many other reasons.

Should You Ditch Your TV?

Please don’t misunderstand me and think that I’m saying everyone should follow suit (although I think a good case could likely be made…). I know that some people have more free time than me, not everyone is married, and not everyone has so many other hobbies and creative endeavours in the queue. TV watching may not be a negative space in your life at all (it was in mine). If I’m being honest though, I do wonder what kind of good things you could do with your life with those many hours spent in front of the tube. This is a challenge primarily to myself, and of course it also applies to any area of life – am I being intentional with my time? Only you can determine the right balance for your life, so think critically, and don’t be afraid of making changes where necessary, even if that means ditching the TV. You could start with just a month-long commitment, like we did this past summer. That’s what convinced us that it was a good idea for our family.

The Physical Space

All our married life, each time we moved, we’d arrange the furniture around the television, as though it were occupying the place of honour in our lives. Conversation took place with the big black screen as the silent member of the party (or worse, when it was on!). Surely we didn’t intend this to happen, but I feel that when you orient your space around a television, it is a very telling physical symbol for the way you intend to spend your time, and the things you value. For us, having our armchair, love seat, and couch all facing each other in a circle (or a triangle, really), is symbolic of our priorities in this space: relationships, people, and intentionality. The people face each other, not a TV. I’d like to think that the lack of television presence in our home (making us among only 1-2% of the national population) says something about us as a family. I’m sure that not everyone feels that way about their own living space, but I wholeheartedly love the vibe we’ve got going on here.

The Confession

I was really, really afraid I’d regret getting rid of the TV. And I guess there’s still time – it’s only been a month. But as of now, I confess to you that I don’t miss it one single bit, and I feel absolutely certain that it was the best and bravest decision we’ve made for our marriage in a very long time. I am quite relieved about this, and the sense of contentment and peace that I have about it is fabulous.

Have you ever considered ditching your TV? Do you wish you watched less of it? If you don’t have a TV, share how that decision came about.

***

This is the last post (finally!) of my series 31 Days of Real Housewife Confessions. What I’ve discovered is that this whole confession thing is very good for the soul. People usually respond well to baring your soul and your weaknesses. And also, it’s not all that much different from what I usually do around here anyway. The only difference has been the lack of natural-minded content (and I have a really exciting idea in the pipeline for this blog regarding all of that stuff). I have discovered that my niche is “eclectic homemaking for the passionate soul”, which shall be my new tagline (appearing in the layout shortly). I am excited to continue to encourage and challenge you as readers to live passionately in whatever position you find yourself. Hope you stick around!

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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The kiddos are downstairs in their new playroom happily going about their childhood, not (yet) fighting or crying or needing me for one of a million possible reasons. I stand at the sink dreamily washing the dishes because the dear hard-working hubby has not yet had a chance to install the dishwasher. The warm water and suds swirl around my hands, turning them pruney, as I listen to Christmas music and feel quite productive. After all, it’s only 9:30am and I’ve showered, dressed, made and served breakfast, washed the dishes (almost), and remembered to do vitamin D and CLO all around. Others may laugh at my version of productivity, but to me this day is unfolding with joy and an everydayness that is the very reason for why I consider my life to be untradeable and inimitable.

There is no other place I’d rather be.

I am not an oppressed woman, bound to the kitchen and the badly-needing-swept-floors. To the wiping of snotty noses and diapered bums. I am not a victim of a system of anti-feminists and narrow-minded patriarchs. It may not be glamorous in the traditional sense of the word but please, know this: I am a strong woman with a mind of her own (oh mercy, many can attest to this fact!), and I willingly and gladly and knowingly chose this life. This exact life.

Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, with a contentedness that you could not buy for all the money in the entire world.

That is perhaps the real reason for this sense of productivity: the peace in my heart and the joy that bubbles in my toes, tapping to the Christmas music, as I scrub the pot of burnt chili from last night’s dinner. There are dinner fiascos, cranky children (and parents), distance between spouses, pregnancy fatigue, losing tempers and yelling, apologies, and always, always a return to each other’s arms, eventually. This is one family that will not be taken down, that will not be allowing a crack for the enemy to enter. This is real life and it is too damn valuable to be anything less than amazing. And so we press on. Burnt dinner, arguments, and toes touching in bed as we fall asleep, and we breathe deep in the beauty of the mundane stuff that is our life.

Woven in throughout the stuff of life is the joy and peace of knowing that this is it. This is the life I asked for, and I wouldn’t trade it. For this moment, I am focused on the things that matter, and when you catch that glimpse of joy it is deep and soul-burning. My breath catches in my throat, and I know.

I just know.

This is love.

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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