Moving is pretty well always chaotic, isn’t it? Unless you’re one of those uber-organized
freaks people that colour-codes and inventories everything perfectly and doesn’t ever just label the last 20 boxes as “stuff”. Personally, I usually fall somewhere in the middle – I dream of beautifully organized and non-chaotic moves every time but the realities of life always seem to get in the way.
In our little house on the prairie, the chaos has already arrived and gotten comfy. In just four weeks we are leaving Tiny Town and moving back to our home city – a move of about 2000 miles across the country. Goodbye Tiny Town, with a population of a few thousand. Hello largest city in the country with a population of well over six million.
It may seem that our family is addicted to making major life changes and transitions. With plans to move to our son’s fifth, sixth, and seventh home on the horizon (he’s not even four years old yet), we’re not quite sure what stability and predictability would feel like, let alone just simply living in one house for more than 18 months at a time.
We will be continuing that trend with two temporary homes (living with family) before finally finding our own place next spring, which also will be temporary as we save for a down-payment on a house.
It’s true though – our time here in Tiny Town was limited from the beginning. This is not where we ever planned to live forever. We came here 2.5 years ago for my husband’s education (flight training). That has now finished and he has begun the long and arduous task of building up his hours by flight instructing at the school from which he graduated.
Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, this flight school cannot provide enough hours for him to work and make ends meet (he only gets paid when he actually flies with a student). Over the last few months after hours and hours of discussion and wrestling, we have concluded that a change was necessary for our family.
There’s one small hitch in our plan, however. We will be arriving in the Big City unemployed. Due to the way the aviation industry works, and the last few months of interviews, emails, etc. with a couple of flight schools in our desired area, we believe that hubby has a much better chance of getting hired if we are there in the Big City and able to start right away (as opposed to the three weeks it would take to pack up and move across the country on short notice).
Yeah. Unemployed. Let’s just let that sink in for a moment, shall we?
So, in addition to the fact that we have a newborn (he’s 4 weeks old today!), two other young children, financial stress, the grieving of hubby’s Grandad who passed away yesterday, packing for a cross-country move, and the leaving and grieving of the lives we’ve built here in Tiny Town… we now add unemployment to our list. We are a wee bit stressed, I guess you could say.
There’s also another little piece of the puzzle that has been difficult for us to process over the last little while.
Since 2006 we have been and planning and dreaming about going overseas as a missionary pilot family, however recent changes in our mission’s policies have closed that door for us. (We are already accepted full-term and serving in a part-time capacity on missionary support here in Alberta doing administrative work for the head office.) Our future as overseas missionaries is now quite uncertain, and we are not sure what the future holds.
It is possible that we could go overseas with a different organization, but right now we are grieving the closing of the door we had planned to walk through for the last six years. We are questioning. We are a little bit disillusioned. We are frustrated. And yet we are still firmly believing in God’s goodness and grace in our lives. Our desire to be counter-cultural Jesus-followers has not waned, and so we press on. We know this for sure: His grace is enough for a couple of Generation Y’ers who are totally in love with Christ, with a penchant for adventure and radical living, who are also a little bit disillusioned with the human side of the church and Christian ministry.
There are many changes looming ahead for our little family.
(Side note: we may be in serious danger of losing our “little family” designation – when Canaan was just a few days old we were sitting in a restaurant after a midwife appointment. A random lady walked by, looked at our family, and exclaimed “Wow, that’s a lot of kids!”. I wish I were kidding…)
No neat and tidy ending here… and that’s really the point, isn’t it? The amount of unknowns and crazy possibilities ahead is staggering. We are maxed out on major life changes right now, and I am learning huge lessons on taking one day at a time, trusting God for my future instead of worrying about it.
If you are the praying type, would you please pray for my beloved kiddos? Canaan’s happy whenever he’s close to mama of course, but the other two are definitely noticing and feeling the stress. Their whole world is crashing down, as the furniture we sell gets carried out of the house, as the cardboard boxes start to appear, as Mommy and Daddy are bickering with each other a little bit extra.
Today Canaan is 4 weeks old, and in 4 weeks time the moving truck will be pulling out of the driveway.
Prayers and frequent reminders to *breathe* would be appreciated.