Sorry For Crying
It’s a incredible group, but we have this one major flaw. It’s a woman thing, I think, and it is this: we apologize.
When we go around the circle sharing our prayer requests (otherwise known as our life updates), we often apologize for chattering on too much and taking up too much time, or for breaking down emotionally and crying over an issue that is particularly heavy on our hearts. They’ve done it. I’ve done it.
“I didn’t want to cry, I’m sorry” (sniff sob, pass the kleenex)…
“I will stop now, sorry for talking your ears off!” (after unloading a heart full of burden).
Apologies left, right, and centre… all for being open and vulnerable and transparent. For opening up the nitty-gritty and trusting each other with our hearts. To do so is rarely neat and tidy, passionless, or brief, and yet somehow we’ve come to believe that it should be. Why do women do this? Why do we apologize for letting our beautiful messes show?
Do we believe that a good woman is able to always keep it together?
Do we believe that a good woman is never burdened so heavily that she spews out her cares in a torrent of words and soul bits onto trusting friends while going over the unofficial (nonexistent) allotted five minutes per person?
Do we believe that a good woman is properly schooled in the art of manners and propriety and would never break down with vulnerability to unload the gritty realities of her life? Especially is she were to be “overly” emotional about it all?
I don’t.
I just don’t.
I believe that a good woman is one who shares her heart and admits her struggles to those who love her. I believe a good woman is one who can be vulnerable and brave enough to bare her heart’s cry and messiness. I believe that a good woman is one who will let the overwhelming emotions pour out in an honest and healing cry instead of bottling them inside. I believe that a good woman is often genuine, honest, vulnerable, and rarely prim and proper.
There is so much grace and loving in this way of living.
I think it’s time we stopped apologizing for being women who share our hearts.
Let’s stop being sorry and start being brave!
Let’s be unapologetic and let’s live open to joy and grace and love and all of the beauty that comes along.
(Let’s ignore the clock and pass the kleenex…)
***
{Galatians 6:2 – “Carry each other’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ”}
The verse at the bottom is one that I have held dear since we were in Tanzania together…I am not sure if you remember sitting in Mama Mesusa’s house, working through LAMP and using that exact scripture to solidify the fact that repetition and practice leads to memorization. It has always stuck.
Thanks for the reminder…and, I agree, let the beautiful messes show. We all have them, lets not be ashamed.
Oh yes I certainly do remember that! I have vivid memories of sitting in Mama Msusa’s living room with the doily things on all the chairs… with Forrest’s voice “Carry each other’s burdens” then we’d repeat “carry each other’s burdens”… then repeat 5x. Good memorization technique there – it obviously worked!
HA! This made me laugh…cuz it’s so true!!! Good one.
It IS so true, and I’ve been noticing it for a while – it happens like every single week! Haha!
Awesome awesome! Same thing happens in our group… I may just have to bring this up among us, or at least be conscious of not saying it myself
I pray for your group often, you are all special and dear to me, and sharing life with you is a large part of what makes tiny town such a great place to be!
It’s such a woman thing! I’m not usually one for stereotypes, but I really think this is such a strange little quirk that is kind of an epidemic among women!
Thanks for your prayers too – it often feels as though you should be in our group, but I know that you are where you need to be on Wednesdays. Love sharing life with you too!!
Aw, hi Ash
I just hear from your sweet Tuesday leader that you gals pray for us and that she’d been following ‘my story’. I felt so support and connected, and from such an unexpected source. Hm…I suppose it’s alright that you continue hanging out with the Tuesday group after all 
Beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing
Thanks Margi, glad you enjoyed it
Well done, Beth!! Well written and well thought! So often we apologize for what we shouldn’t and we don’t apologize for what we should.
– and the “Servant Song” that Crystal mentioned is a favourite of mine. Us “Golden Retriever” types often need to be reminded that letting others serve us is a display of God’s grace.
Love Mom
Thanks Mom
Yeah, I imagine it’s particularly difficult for those who have serving as their love language or personality type. I love that song too (and now it’s in my head 
)
Oh my gosh, I connect with this. Hubby’s forever telling me not to apologize for silly (or not-so-silly but not-apology-worthy things). I think I even apologize for apologizing.
Isn’t it amazing how when someone else shares deeply, we are so moved and blessed by it, but when we do it personally, we are ashamed or embarrassed about it?
There’s an old song it makes me think of – “Brother, sister let me serve you/let me be as Christ to you/pray that I may have the grace to/let you be my servant to.” I think we need to have the grace (and humility) to let others bear our burdens without feeling the need to disclaim or apologize for it. How else do we fully embrace the life we (and others) have been given?
Great post, Beth. Thanks.
Yup – I love it when others do it – spill out their thoughts or get raw and cry… but it feels so different when I do it. It’s sad, really.
I love that song too – and it’s so profound! It’s hard to let others serve you… very humbling.
Love this Beth!
Thanks Marissa!
Loved this. Thanks!
Thanks
I really struggle with this. And now, I hear my 2.5 year old say “I’m so sorry, mommy” for things she SHOULD NOT be sorry for – like being sad about something painful. I’m working on it. Thank you for these words.
It’s a hard one, and I know it’s a struggle that so many of us have. You aren’t alone, but good for you for working on it – that will make a big difference!
Amen and amen and amen, sista! Thank you 100x for this! I do this too, and I’m going to stop. You’re so right, we need to be brave enough to be vulnerable and let our trusted friends see our hearts.
It’s hard to do, but oh so worth it, I believe! Thanks for getting it
Beth you crack me up! We totally appologize all the time.
Sorry about that.
I am not totally sure I will be able to stop though. It is a habit. I tried to stop once and I seriously appologize over EVERYTHING. I am starting to think it is more an act of connection and trying to see something from someone else’s perspective than a real appology (I think).
Sorry if I was offensive
Jocelyn
Hey Jocelyn, thanks for commenting – you made me smile today. I was thinking of you all day yesterday, by the way – hope your appointment went well!
That’s an interesting thought about doing it in an attempt to connect… we should chat more about that next week