{Day 31} Ditching the TV
About a month ago, we sold our Ikea Entertainment Unit, our 32″ flat-screen TV, and our Nintendo Wii.
It was an idea we’d thrown around for the last year or two, never really doing anything about it. Finally, when we decided to move across town to a different house, we realized that we were ready to be a TV-free family, once and for all.
Why The Heck Did We Do It?
Don’t get me wrong – we still watch the occasional movie on our laptop (right now we are loving the Harry Potter movies on iTunes: next up is Goblet of Fire), and we’d even stream a TV show if we had anything we particularly wanted to see. Right now there’s nothing currently offered on television that we see as being worth spending our precious few hours of free time in the evenings. There are a couple of shows that I could get into if I tried, I’m sure, but I’m just not convinced that it’s a healthy way to spend my time – for my spiritual life, my marriage, my creative projects that get neglected, and so many other reasons.
Should You Ditch Your TV?
Please don’t misunderstand me and think that I’m saying everyone should follow suit (although I think a good case could likely be made…). I know that some people have more free time than me, not everyone is married, and not everyone has so many other hobbies and creative endeavours in the queue. TV watching may not be a negative space in your life at all (it was in mine). If I’m being honest though, I do wonder what kind of good things you could do with your life with those many hours spent in front of the tube. This is a challenge primarily to myself, and of course it also applies to any area of life – am I being intentional with my time? Only you can determine the right balance for your life, so think critically, and don’t be afraid of making changes where necessary, even if that means ditching the TV. You could start with just a month-long commitment, like we did this past summer. That’s what convinced us that it was a good idea for our family.
The Physical Space
All our married life, each time we moved, we’d arrange the furniture around the television, as though it were occupying the place of honour in our lives. Conversation took place with the big black screen as the silent member of the party (or worse, when it was on!). Surely we didn’t intend this to happen, but I feel that when you orient your space around a television, it is a very telling physical symbol for the way you intend to spend your time, and the things you value. For us, having our armchair, love seat, and couch all facing each other in a circle (or a triangle, really), is symbolic of our priorities in this space: relationships, people, and intentionality. The people face each other, not a TV. I’d like to think that the lack of television presence in our home (making us among only 1-2% of the national population) says something about us as a family. I’m sure that not everyone feels that way about their own living space, but I wholeheartedly love the vibe we’ve got going on here.
The Confession
I was really, really afraid I’d regret getting rid of the TV. And I guess there’s still time – it’s only been a month. But as of now, I confess to you that I don’t miss it one single bit, and I feel absolutely certain that it was the best and bravest decision we’ve made for our marriage in a very long time. I am quite relieved about this, and the sense of contentment and peace that I have about it is fabulous.
Have you ever considered ditching your TV? Do you wish you watched less of it? If you don’t have a TV, share how that decision came about.
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This is the last post (finally!) of my series 31 Days of Real Housewife Confessions. What I’ve discovered is that this whole confession thing is very good for the soul. People usually respond well to baring your soul and your weaknesses. And also, it’s not all that much different from what I usually do around here anyway. The only difference has been the lack of natural-minded content (and I have a really exciting idea in the pipeline for this blog regarding all of that stuff). I have discovered that my niche is “eclectic homemaking for the passionate soul”, which shall be my new tagline (appearing in the layout shortly). I am excited to continue to encourage and challenge you as readers to live passionately in whatever position you find yourself. Hope you stick around!
Love this! I’m currently a single mother of a toddler and infant. One of the many reasons I’m a single mom is because of our TV. My husband and I started out our marriage with a TV in the house, which was on ALL THE TIME and occupied the “place of honour.” It wasn’t so bad; as childless newlyweds, we were infatuated with each other enough that he would turn it off or ignore it if I asked. After moving internationally (me first, he joined me later), I lived very happily alone without a TV. After my husband joined me, we still lived without a TV for several months, during which we had our first child. Eventually, as a “surprise” for me, my husband went and bought a large screen TV and set up cable. I’m sure you can tell already just how pleased I was with that surprise! My husband completely stopped any kind of intentional interaction with his son and our “bonding” time as a couple was spent sitting on the couch watching TV “together.” If he was home, the TV was on, he was in front of it, and I was hard-pressed to get him to pay attention to his home or family. When he left us, the TV was the first thing to be carefully packed into his car, with more care than he had treated me or my son in months. I know not all men are this irresponsible, but I do believe that TV is a tragic waste of time and families lose so much of what’s really important when their home revolves around it. I have no regrets about seeing that TV walk out the door, even if it took my husband with it.
Wow, that’s crazy – I’m so sorry that happened in your family. Your story really confirms that TV can be a very dangerous thing in a marriage, and also that it can become an idol. Thanks for sharing your heart!
We sorta have TV. We’ve never had television, so to speak. I find the ads are so graphic. Even if you’re watching a good show or just the news, the kids can be exposed to so much just from the ads. But we have a TV that I use for shows when we wish. We’ll go for days without using it, or sometimes I’ll let the kids watch an hour or two in a day, but thats usually only if they’re sick! I also got rid of most of our ‘fluff’ type shows. We have quality content or educational videos. A couple good disney for a movie night or something. Good for you for ditching it! I totally agree with what you said about our rooms being set up around the idol.. ehem, tv…
It’s true – the ads are terrible. The stats on how many advertisements children will see before they even go to school is staggering. It’s disturbing, really. I’m glad there are no ads when Isaac watches the occasional Bob the Builder on Netflix.
We have one TV and sadly it is a major time suck. I really want to work on cutting down the amount of useless hours I spend in front it and on the computer on a daily basis. Ideally I would like to be watching TV for less than 7 hours a week. That allows for 1 hour a day per a week. I have to use the internet for school and blogging so I’m not sure what weekly time limit I would set to that one but I’ll have to figure it out.
Thanks for this inspiring post,
~RustiAnn
Thanks for commenting, Rusti! The first and biggest thing, I believe, is to be intentional about how you spend time, especially in front of a screen. Good luck with that journey in your home!
We are a TV free home as well! I actually grew up without TV (my mom was/is a teacher and always insisted that a there were a million ways to better use your time). My husband on the other hand grew up “on” TV (one of four, God bless his mother!) but he had no problem letting it go when we got married (6 yrs ago). That being said I am finding lately (since finally having a reliable Wi-Fi in the house) that the internet has become the new “TV” aka time sucker in our life. Has anyone figured out a good balance for this new “TV” in your home? I would love some tips/strategies! I ‘m sad to realize how much of our precious free time (after kids in bed) is disappearing down the net!
I don’t know off-hand, but that sure would be an interesting blog post to write: how to keep the computer from being a huge time-suck, and screen-free things to do with your leisure time. I think I will work on that! Thanks for commenting, Shannon!
We’re half-way there. When we first were married I would have the TV on just for background noise (he worked shift work) and ate most of our meals in front of it. When we moved, our living room was small, so we decided that our TV should go in the family room in the basement. Best decision ever. Our TV watching was cut in half. Recently, we ditched the cable and we only watch a few DVD’s or VHS’s on the TV. We still have Netflix and watch more than I want on that, but we are working on that. The hardest part for me is ditching it altogether for the kids…when I’m alone cooking supper for them and I have to “put out fires” every 20 seconds….a movie comes in handy to keep them in one spot long enough to get food on the table. Would love some tips on other ideas for that…
That’s awesome Steph. I think the biggest step is to be intentional and aware of your TV-intake. As for the kiddos – I have no problem with letting them watch a video in “those moments”… I just use netflix on the laptop (or even a DVD, netflix isn’t necessary).
We are TV-less as well… never have had it, although we do use Netflix and watch Food Network shows online. One bonus is, TV is such a novelty for our kids that they’re quiet as mice when we’re in a waiting room! lol
I do agree with Marissa though… computer and internet can just as easily suck up our time. The dangers aren’t in the machine itself but in our own hearts…
“The dangers aren’t in the machine itself but in our own hearts…” – this is oh so true! love it!
We have never had a TV although we have been offered one several times when people notice that we don’t have one. We always thought that especially did we not want our living room to be centered around a television. We watch movies so very rarely that it would also be pointless from that perspective to even have one and we have never been into watching shows. I will say though that whenever we do stay at a hotel, it is kind of a treat to watch house and real estate shows (and country music videos:). I guess mostly we have so many other things that we want and need to do that we have never felt a need or desire to have one.
We do find that while we have no tv, it is a struggle to keep from allowing the internet and computer usage from invading and stealing precious time.
It’s funny how the assumption is that if you don’t have one you must want one!
rah, rah! I didn’t realize that the number of tv-less people was so low. I’m happy to be among them!
Somewhat related, do you have any recommendations for two person games and/or other things to “do” while spending time with your hubby in the evenings?
Oh oh…i know your question is directed at Beth BUT my husband and I recently learned how to play backgammon and we love it! Also, if you buy the traders and barbarians expansion pack you can play Settlers of Catan with only two people!!!
We like playing games, ticket to ride, carcassone, scrabble and the amazing labyrinth are ones we play quite a lot. Or we read together. or work on projects together.
I love Kelly & Marissa’s suggestions thus far, and will use some of them myself! As for us – we usually end up either reading or on our computers. I do want to guard against wasting time on the computer, but to be honest I find it so much easier to be doing things online that are at least uplifting and edifying – like some of the encouraging/challenging blog posts I read on faith, spirituality, mothering, health, etc. Or I use my computer time as a creativity outlet via my writing. TV really did nothing for me except mindlessly entertain with questionable material. I do want to play more games though – I love board games! Sometimes, if we have energy, we’ll cook or bake together, though that’s rare because we’re usually exhausted by the end of the day. Also, sometimes we work on hobbies – he is building a remote controlled helicopter, and I crochet/paint/felt.
We ditched out tv ages ago.We have netflix on our laptop, and friday is “movie day” for my kids: we pick a half hour kids show for them to watch. We’ll also occasionally make a big bowl of popcorn and watch a documentary together (we recently watched one about Amish people…it was so cool!) And I HATE the look of a television in the livingroom, so even when we had one we stored it in our basement and brought it up and plugged it in when we wanted to use it!
I guess what I’m saying is I totally think you made the right choice. Tv or movies aren’t (all) evil, but lets not waste our lives on them!
The only time I regret it is when people are discussing some show that is hugely popular and I feel left out…
“Tv or movies aren’t (all) evil, but lets not waste our lives on them!” – YES! Exactly! I could have avoided this whole post and just quoted you