{Day 29} I Chose This Life
The kiddos are downstairs in their new playroom happily going about their childhood, not (yet) fighting or crying or needing me for one of a million possible reasons. I stand at the sink dreamily washing the dishes because the dear hard-working hubby has not yet had a chance to install the dishwasher. The warm water and suds swirl around my hands, turning them pruney, as I listen to Christmas music and feel quite productive. After all, it’s only 9:30am and I’ve showered, dressed, made and served breakfast, washed the dishes (almost), and remembered to do vitamin D and CLO all around. Others may laugh at my version of productivity, but to me this day is unfolding with joy and an everydayness that is the very reason for why I consider my life to be untradeable and inimitable.
There is no other place I’d rather be.
I am not an oppressed woman, bound to the kitchen and the badly-needing-swept-floors. To the wiping of snotty noses and diapered bums. I am not a victim of a system of anti-feminists and narrow-minded patriarchs. It may not be glamorous in the traditional sense of the word but please, know this: I am a strong woman with a mind of her own (oh mercy, many can attest to this fact!), and I willingly and gladly and knowingly chose this life. This exact life.
Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, with a contentedness that you could not buy for all the money in the entire world.
That is perhaps the real reason for this sense of productivity: the peace in my heart and the joy that bubbles in my toes, tapping to the Christmas music, as I scrub the pot of burnt chili from last night’s dinner. There are dinner fiascos, cranky children (and parents), distance between spouses, pregnancy fatigue, losing tempers and yelling, apologies, and always, always a return to each other’s arms, eventually. This is one family that will not be taken down, that will not be allowing a crack for the enemy to enter. This is real life and it is too damn valuable to be anything less than amazing. And so we press on. Burnt dinner, arguments, and toes touching in bed as we fall asleep, and we breathe deep in the beauty of the mundane stuff that is our life.
Woven in throughout the stuff of life is the joy and peace of knowing that this is it. This is the life I asked for, and I wouldn’t trade it. For this moment, I am focused on the things that matter, and when you catch that glimpse of joy it is deep and soul-burning. My breath catches in my throat, and I know.
I just know.
This is love.
So true, thanks for sharing.
Yes, the Devil most definitely seeks those cracks, he almost broke my family apart this summer, but thank GOD for healing and renewal!
Love,
Krista
This is great, Beth! Can’t you just feel the Devil seeking that crack to slip into? He wants to destroy families like ours. Communication with our spouse, honesty, peace in the household; these are so important. Thanks for the reminder.
Yep, sometimes I can almost feel him circling like a vulture, just waiting for any little place to get a foothold and begin to gnaw us apart. Graphic? Yes, but as is the reality of spiritual warfare, I believe. It’s so important to be aware!
Oh so lovely. To “…breathe deep in the beauty of the mundane stuff that is our life” – oh, that we could do this always. Sometimes the mundane stuff could be replaced with the “ugly” stuff – we’re having a parenting…um…moment upstairs – but even these moments are fleeting. That we can fully live in each precious moment! Our floors will not be cluttered with toys, our words peppered with teachings, or our necks strangled in wonderfully tight toddler-hugs for long. A good reminder, Beth. Thanks.
Oh to find gratitude and joy even in those ugly moments – that would be incredible indeed. Most of the time I fail miserably at this, but it’s an excellent goal to strive toward, to be sure!
Love this, Beth! Inspiring, as usual
I’d like to chime in with Diane about being prepared for the attack; I’m pretty that’s what you meant, but I have seen and experienced first hand how hard Satan is trying to destroy Christian marriages and families and I wouldn’t want anyone to underestimate his underhanded, sly, destructive, individualized attacks…but God is bigger, God is stronger and we CAN resist the evil one’s schemes! Bless you, Friend! May you know His peace and rest today 
Thanks Joy. I responded to Diane’s comment above, which you can check out if you are so inclined
Thanks for the peace and rest wishes… two things I so desperately seek these days!
I’m having one of “those” days like you described…and I really needed to hear this. Thanks again Beth. I too chose this life with my eyes wide open and there are those fleeting, but beautiful moments that make it all worth while.
They really do make it all worth while don’t they? It’s amazing how that works!
Love this post, too. It is a wonderful thing to feel and be content with one’s life
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It most certainly is. Thanks for commenting, Ruth-Anne
I really loved reading this post. I so long for the time to come for me to raise a family with my husband.
Oh but enjoy this time of pre-kiddos as well… once you have babies everything changes. For good, yes, but still… just enjoy this time in your life while you have it! I understand the longing though – I was so there once
Well said.
Thanks!
Love this. And affirm it
Thanks, Dea
Hi, Beth, I am so glad that you are happy with your life. Congratulations on your expanding family. I know your hubby and kids are wonderful people and that you are a woman seeking God’s heart. But please do not be naive thinking that the enemy will not attack. You say you “will not be allowing a crack for the enemy to enter.” Pray instead to be so strong in knowing the depths of God that when the enemy enters you will recognize and fight the battle against him with God’s strength. Perhaps this is what you meant but did not say.
(Ephesians 6:12) “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” I know this because my family has been under strong attack and so has yours.
By saying that we will not be allowing a crack for the enemy to enter I was meaning that though we are being attacked, we are ready and aware, and will not be defeated. We will not allow him to break down our family, which I know he would if he could. That’s what I was trying to get at, but perhaps I wasn’t clear enough. We have very real personal experience with Satan’s attacks on our marriage and family, and I do know that it is a real battle. Thanks for your concern!
Beautiful! And I’m going to turn on the Christmas music now
Hurray! Play it loudly and sing along too!