{This insightful guest post is from one of my most favourite bloggers ever: Megan from SortaCrunchy (which recently got a makeover and is SO adorable). Her genuine charm and southern drawl (yes, even in typing!) are just about the most endearing things ever. The best part of her though, is her beautiful heart. She is a woman with a deep love for others, loads of grace, and care for the world around her. She inspires me in so many ways, and I am honoured to have her words in this space today. Please give her a warm welcome and leave your thoughts in the comments!}

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The picture is all still very clear in my mind: the hotel conference room where we had our rehearsal dinner, filled with some of the most important women in my life. Most had never been in the same room with each other, nor would they ever be again, and yet there they all were, gathering around to watch me open sexy negligees at my “personal shower.” The menfolk and children had long since cleared out, and we were left to ourselves and giggles and stories and advice.

One of the hostesses had asked everyone to share their best pieces of marital advice, and so amidst Victoria’s Secret wrappings and pink tissue paper and slippery, silky nighties, the words of wisdom surrounded me.

To be honest, I don’t remember a lot of what was spoken into my life that night, but there is this one thing I do remember, one thing I took hold of and have put into practice many times in our thirteen years of marriage. One of my best friends, unmarried at the time and two years younger than me (and I was just shy of my 21st birthday, mind you), spoke with authority that it was okay to go to bed angry. Sometimes it’s the best thing you can do, she said.

Well, several of the ladies in attendance jumped in to correct her, but that was no matter to me. In my friend’s words I heard echos of the statement my mother had soothed my broken heart with many times throughout childhood: It’ll be better in the morning.

But, but, but … What about don’t let the sun go down on your anger? Well, it’s true that if we get a little crossways with each other during the day, I do my best to work towards reconciliation and restoration as soon as possible. But somehow there have been quite a few occasions where big feelings exploded late in the day, where just before turning in we turned on each other and the combination of one spouse prone to over-emoting and one spouse prone to retreat and cut-off ended in nothing but fireworks. And not the sexy kind, either.

And so in those moments, I remembered my precious friend’s advice. It’s okay. Sleep it off. Get some perspective. Try again when you are feeling fresh and the physical work of sleep has brought healing to your body. As the sun rises and the coffee pours, we look at each other sheepishly over our steaming mugs and find a way to work things out. Rather than forcing the issue when we are tired and just done with it all, we start with new mercies and a renewed heart for unity.

So that’s my confession. I’ve tossed and turned and seethed and glared all under the shadow of the moon. And our marriage is better for it.