{Day 20} Do Not Worry About the Future
...so this is the six week belly (after supper though, and that seriously makes a difference you know. and I'm not kidding when I say that my friend was seriously this size at almost 23 weeks pregnant! granted, it was her first pregnancy, and this is my third, but still, yikes! i must say though - half of it is probably leftover space from number one and two, haha!). also - please excuse the really dirty mirror that doesn't help my "i'm-trying-to-be-a-good-housekeeper" case.
I rocked my daughter to sleep last night (yes, she’s still rocked/nursed to sleep, and yes we’re ok with it. mostly), her little arm curled around mine, holding me closer as she nuzzled in to my breast and heaved a quivery sigh of surrender, slowing breath, and eyelashes dusting her plump cheeks. Her body gave in to the rest it craved and the blissful security that I provide, and I rocked in that creaky chair ’til I was sure she was out. I breathed in the moment of sweet cuddles and then with a mind to the dirty dishes awaiting me downstairs (and before I rocked myself to sleep) gave her up to her cozy bed. Another slow sigh and wiggle to get comfy, then all was still.
I sighed, and reprimanded myself for the mind that had gone galloping away into a future world of worries and what-if’s, yet again.
Such a wild and untameable mind I have sometimes.
You see, I am six weeks pregnant. And my pants are getting tight. (Rocked the bella band for the first time today – woohoo for wearing my favourite jeans still, even if they weren’t even close to buttoned). And in these days of growing belly, having gone through this twice already before, I know what’s coming. I know the massiveness that is my impending future. And so, worry is what floods my mind when putting my dear daughter in her crib these days.
Will she learn to fall asleep by herself before I’m too huge?
What if she doesn’t and I’m so huge I can’t bend over?
What if I have to try but I’m such a massive blob that it’s impossibly awkward and wakes her every time? Stressful!
How did I do this with Isaac, when I was pregnant with Aliza?
Will I grow so tired that I begin to resent this little one?
Will I be fired from the motherhood club and be a massive failure…!?
Before I know it, my mind has been consumed with thoughts and worries that are not mine to worry about. But the thoughts are fleeting and soon I am focused on staying awake long enough to do the dishes and relax with the hubby for a few precious moments before falling into that amazingly soft pillow and duvet combo. But the same thing comes to mind night after night, as I bend to place the little piece of me known as Aliza in her bed, and I am affronted with little wisps of worry. What-if. What-if. What-if.
Do I truly trust Him with my needs? With my troubles?
It’s just a “small thing”, really. The awkwardness of being hugely pregnant and how to care for other small children. But it’s representative of the larger fears and what-if’s that loom in the shadows of my mind.
I was reminded of this verse:
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” {Matthew 6:34, The Message}
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” {Matthew 6:34, NIV}
And breathed a sigh of relief.
Just knowing that I only have to think of today’s troubles is a burden lifted. I feel lighter and freer, just letting that wash over me. What a priceless gift!
And the words of this hymn are sung in my mind:
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
~~~
Do you find yourself being carried away by worries? No matter whether they are big or small, they can take a place that is not rightfully theirs in your life. Do yourself a favour, and “give your entire attention to what God is doing right now”.
{This post is part of my “31 Days of Real Housewife Confessions“. More than halfway done now! I’ll be chatting mainly about marriage and womanhood from here on out, although let’s be honest – I’m not good at following the rules… even my own, so we shall see!}
Been there, done that. I mean, Josh was still practically a baby himself when Caleb was born, only 17 months! And now I look at Caleb, who is almost 17 months and think “How in the world did I handle a newborn when Josh was still soo young?!”, but I did it. Yes, there will be worries, and some days won’t be easy, but you already know that. I KNOW you will do great, you are such an awesome mom. And it’s still many months away. Aliza will adjust and so will you. God is our ever present help and strength.
You look great, btw, so sweet. I popped fairly early with Caleb as well. Definitely couldn’t hide that I was pregnant with him for very long.
Krista
Krista
17 months! I tip my hat to you! I’m afraid enough with 23 months!
Youa re lovely. And also YAY.
Well thanks and thanks! You bless me, dear one.
You look beautiful!! I get big fast now too… I remember with my first it seemed like it took forever to ‘show’… hahaha, now I wish it would! You’ll be a terrific mama to 3 too… not because you’re perfect, but because you’re will to learn and you love your babes
Blessings…
Thanks Sara-Lyn! Thanks for your encouragement – your words hit home today!
I just enjoy your blog so much and as an experienced mother and MiMi now I will tell you to just take a deep breath and relax. Enjoy each moment for what it is, don’t look too far into the future, not too far into the past, and just enjoy today and do what you can for today…tomorrow is another day and believe it or not, there is no real scorecard. Most of us mothers have the bar set pretty high in our minds of what we are supposed to accomplish in a day and be to the kiddos and hubby…and it’s pretty impossible to attain it all in one day at one time. In the end, your children will know without a doubt that you love them, and they will feel secure and remember what a wonderful Christian home they had and they will adore everything about it, even if the mirrors aren’t always clean….and Lordy girl mine aren’t either right now
. My daughter who will be pregnant right along with you is also turning sidways saying…WOW… I can’t believe I’m already this big at SIX WEEKS!! (This is her 2nd). She’s already outgrowing her work slacks and hates the idea of having to go buy new ones so early on!! Sending hugs your way…..
Wow, thanks so much for reading my blog and being such a great encouragement to me! I love hearing your perspective as someone who’s done it all already. Believing that there’s no real scorecard is a tough one, but I can see the wisdom in that. Hmm… something to ponder and let sink in! Thanks for the hugs & love. xoxo.
Thank you for this … as always your timing and insight are just right. I too needed this as we think together about the future, and wonder where we will be, and where God wants us. It’s great to know that He already knows and faithfully walks right beside us.
Love you …
I love you too, honey, xoxo.
I remember being very swollen with my second child and thinking, “How can I love another baby as much as I do the first one? How can I take care of two kids when I can barely take care of one? What am I going to do?” I approached my pastor told him my concerns. His reply, “Well, you don’t have two kids.” “Yeah, but look at my belly. I will—and soon.” He smiled, “Yes, but you don’t TODAY. Do not be anxious about tomorrow for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” His reply calmed me. And, when I’m feeling anxious I reread Matthew 6.
I pray peace for you, and that any anxious thoughts you may have will fly away. Enjoy the moment—and today while it’s called today.
A very wise response on the part of your pastor. It’s so true – in situations like this where worrying will help nothing, really we should just focus on today! Thank-you for the prayers
Did you know God told you to publish this today, just for me?! I’m having one of ‘those mornings’… almost 6 weeks pregnant, nauseous and with a screamy toddler who seems to be teething for the 19th consecutive week… and I was thinking… where’s a comforting verse or song when you need it? And then I happen upon your blog again and I’m encouraged to not worry about tomorrow or even the next hour – God can take care of that for me!
And the crazy thing is, I’m sitting right under a framed print that says,
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
(and I didn’t even know it was a hymn!)
THANK YOU!
Wow, that is so amazing – what a fabulous encouragement to me… sometimes wondering if what I say is touching anyone’s soul or just falling on deaf ears. Thank-you for sharing. And how crazy is that – the framed print thing?! Love that
Hm. Beautiful. So true. Thank you.
Thanks, Dea!