Today’s interview is a total treat for me – I’ve been reading The Gypsy Mama for a while now, and her writing is powerful and evocative, with a strength and truth in it that is rarely expressed so profoundly. I highly recommend subscribing to her blog and hearing her words for yourself. Lisa-Jo was kind enough to answer some questions for me for our 31 Days of Real Housewife Confessions series, so today I share these with you with the hope that these words will encourage you and challenge you.

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1. How long have you been a housewife? How many kids do you have?

Gosh, thanks so much for including me in your 31 days. I am totally telling Nester about this to prove that even though I didn’t have the courage to write my own 31 days series, at least I made an appearance Ok, so housewife? Well, I work full time from home while wrangling a six-month-old baby and juggling preschool and Kindergarten drop offs and picks up for my two oldest kids, along with their Tae Kwon Do, playdates, and run-of-the-mill meltdowns. So, three kids, one house, lots of laundry, an awesome job and a whole lot of chaos for the last six years. But I’ve been married for 12 years. It just took a while for me to figure out I did, in fact, want to be a mom. And now that I am, I love it and this tiny house that we rent and the family inside that make it home.

2. If I walked in to your house unannounced right now, what would I see?

Oh man, now I wish I’d answered these questions yesterday because yesterday the house was all spruced up for family we have visiting from South Africa. Today? Not so much. Today we’re back to the usual pink stroller in the living room, golden grahams stranded under the dining room table, an assortment of tea cups in the sink and a partially inflated air mattress occupying much of the play room. The baby’s room, however, is still tidy. Whoot whoot – that’s 1 room still on my side. There’s always a computer open somewhere in this house and music playing. And boys in their underroos dancing up a storm.

3. What do you think is at the heart of why so many women feel that they aren’t doing a good enough job of the housework?

Perhaps because it’s never done. You know, just as you get it all cleaned, spic and span through lots of blood, sweat, tears, and time with kids parked in front of Bob the Builder so you can vacuum without anyone under foot, they up and start playing again and you’re back to square one. Housework can feel like the hamster wheel you never get a break from. And no one wants to feel like a hamster. I mean, for one thing, they smell really bad. I wish I’d known that before we agreed to get one for the first time last month. But wait, where was I? Yea, the monotony of housework – it leaves us feeling like the work itself – you know – like dirt and dust and mildew are the defining elements of our day so maybe they define us. But what I’m learning is that those tasks that no one sees us do? Those are the gifts of sacrifice. Those are us climbing onto God’s altar and saying, “here I am – ready again today to die to self and love these others you’ve given me all over again.” It’s not boring then, it’s sanctified. Yup, I think even cleaning toilets is sacrificial work when we’re doing it for the big reasons and not as just another part of our daily routine.

4. What kind of memories do you hope your children have of you while growing up?

Oh I think about this a lot and worry a lot that they’ll remember me yelling and rushing and frustrated at them. I pray instead that the great moments, the slow moments of sitting with them as they play with trucks in a tray of flour (that I just know will spill all over the place again) or wrestle with them or show them how well I know their tickle spots, or tell them long and convoluted tales of South Africa will be the joy that imprints on their memories. I want to be the mom they knew loved them, celebrated them, and took great joy in them. I want them to remember how much we danced in the rain. That mud and wet and messy were never more important than joy and laughter and being together to celebrate God’s down pour of blessing in our lives.

5. What do you do really well in your homemaking?

Yikes, making the bed? I’m also really good at a super fast cleaning the kitchen.

6. What do you want to build on and learn to do better?

Cooking. Sigh. I wish I were a better cook or that cooking interested me more. It. Does. Not. And keeping up with the laundry – I don’t know that I’ll ever win that battle.

7. How was your marriage affected from having kids?

Yowza – in so many ways. It showed us both how selfish we were for one thing And started the long, holy process of breaking us of the habit of self first. That’s a good thing for any marriage. It also etched deep into our hearts a layer of love that we’d never really understood before. A layer of living at a place where you can understand for the first time why Jesus might have died for you, because you would die for your own kids in a heart beat.

8. What might people be surprised to know about you as a housewife?

That there are many things I just don’t care about – it matters little to me how the kitchen is organized or if all the laundry is put away. I like pictures of pretty mantels and rugs placed just so in a house, but at the moment I don’t have the time or energy to care about making ours look like that. That I’d always choose time with kids over time cleaning. That I’ve given up wanting to live in a museum tidy house over wanting to live in a lived in one.

9. If you could have coffee with any mother in history, who would it be?

My own. She died a week after I turned 18. I would give a lot for one heart to heart with her now – mother to mother. So many questions. So much I would love to learn from, and share with, her.

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I am totally loving hearing other women share their hearts and perspectives here via interview, and I hope you are too. Please, choose your favourite question, and share your answer with me. I’d love to hear your heart!

Beth

Beth is the creator and editor here at Red & Honey, a lifestyle blog for the naturally-minded homemaker. She recently began a passionate love affair with coffee and her life will never be the same. She has had three babies in less than four years, is a professional laundry-avoider, and loves to stay up way too late making weird stuff from scratch that normal people tend to just buy in a store. Hence, the coffee.

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